WWYD? | Imamother

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:28 am

We live in Israel and our DD needs a highly specialized procedure in the states. After using our Israeli insurance we have a 12,000 $ co- pay + flights, stay....
In addition because of co-vid dh lost his job and we are very tight - my job just just covers basic living expenses but we have been dipping into savings to pay for daycare. He is looking for a new job but it is very hard now because of covid.
We can either drain our savings (all we have is 15,000$) which is very scary because it is the cushion we have when he doesn't have a job, or we can refinance our mortgage (property value has gone up) and while our additional monthly payment will be very low and doable the interest will mean we are paying double the amount.
DH says we should try to raise money with a Go-Fund me - I wonder if it's ok to do that if we can technically dip into savings....

amother

Yellow

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 5:02 am

I would open a 0% interest credit card- many will give you 15 months of no interest- and hope that DH gets a job before the year is out, but until then pull the monthly payments from savings. That way the savings aren’t drained, but used slowly as you try to improve your financial situation. A go fund me is asking the community for tzedaka- I personally would rather see DH in a low paying job (janitor, cook etc) than ask for money from the community.

Another option would be to borrow from a gemach or a friend at 0 interest and lay back over the next few years.

Side question- if DH is out of a job, why are you paying childcare?

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 5:23 am

Dh is trying to treat finding a new job as a job, he does take care of dd most of the day but he needs a 3 hour block where he can find job listings, send his resume, call places to see if they have openings, go to relevent places and leave his resume. He is currently still getting חל"ת but that is over soon.

He has looked for a lower paying job not on his field but hasn't had luck so far. It is a really uncertain difficult time for job search.

No interest cc is not relevant for us - does not exist in israel (it does but you have a very low credit limit), and we don't have a US bank account

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 6:36 am

Is this surgery dachuf for now or can it be pushed off a bit? If irs dachigmf, I dont think you have a choice. Go do it.
If its not, can you wait until your husband finds a job and then build up some more savings?
Refuah sheleima to your child.

chanchy123

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 6:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A. No interest gmachim exist here too. I think it’s fair to raise money in a go-fund me, but they’re not so simple to do. You can’t be certain you’ll raise enough money, these are hard times for a lot of people and many people are raising money for different causes.
Honestly I’d sit down with an organization like Mekimi or Paamonim and they will help you figure out what you can do on your own part and how best to raise the remainder.

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:48 am

We are still fighting the kupa and trying to get them to pay for what the surgery would cost here (they want a surgeon who has inky done 3 of this very complex procedure, the last time 10 years ago to do it).
I'm really hoping there will be another stimulus from the states - we saved the first round for this and another will make a big difference. My parents said they would give us there mileage for flights so that helps as well - they are marrying of my siblings now, so I can't ask them for help.
The hard part is that we really need to do this ASAP - basically as soon as it is safe to fly to the state we are going to ( the hospital pushed our surgery off) we need to go - we don't really have time to try to figure things out. We probably will end up draining savings and if we decide to refinance our mortgage to get a loan, we can the replenish savings....

So much stress at one shot, I'm worried about the medical repercussions of waiting but we have no choice+financial worries....

We have a "house expenses fund" with about 1,000 dollars - would you guys dip into that or not touch it?

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:51 am

The gemachim we reached out to need us to pay back relatively quickly - which would mean a big monthly expense. Anyone know of specific ones that let you pay back over longer periods of time?
Say 5 years?

No private insurance from work Sad

- didn't know that was a thing.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 10:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have no knowledge of the Israeli medical scene. Is there a medical referral place that can assist in finding a qualified dr in Israel?

I had an emergency procedure done when I was a young child. It was the drs 3rd time, unfortunately this meant that he HAD experience. My surgery was very rare.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 10:16 am

If you are getting the stimulus from the US, why can’t you apply for a US credit card?

Also I can’t imagine that the hospital and dr need a lump sum payment- they don’t offer payment plans for this procedure?

Seriously, go fund me is asking for tzeddaka- if it were me I would do everything possible to avoid that.

amother

Black

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 10:22 am

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

This. I would try to purchase a private policy for my child.

Tirza

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 11:11 am

I disagree with the people who are saying that you shouldn’t ask for help if you have savings. You are in a very tight spot. Your savings is not very much, and draining them all at once while your husband is out of a job will just put you into debt in a month or two. I think you can feel comfortable setting up a go fund me. Those who want to contribute, will, and those who don’t or can’t, won’t. It’s entirely voluntary. You’re not taking advantage of anyone. Your daughter’s health and your family’s well being are at stake. This is what the Jewish Community is for- we help each other. Let people help you now, and when you can, you’ll help others as well.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 11:16 am

I disagree that it isn't fair to ask for tzedaka..you don't have to use every last penny and beg for food before you ask for help.
however there are so many go fund mes now that you may not get the money you need.
you should reach out to anyone who can help..the medical referral agencies both in Israel and the states..often have relationships with the doctors or hospitals and can arrange discounts. may be able to help you get American medical insurance..
different tzedaka agencies may be able to help with money or advice..rccs if its cancer related etc
even calling the doctor and hospital you plan to use and explain that you recently lost a job. they will often work with you, give a discount and or payment plan
hatzalcha and refua shlema

naturalmom5

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 11:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Shouldnt you ask a Rov that, not a bunch of anonymous bored women...

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:07 pm

Thank you for all the responses

We have already gone the medical askanim route and - everyone in both countries agrees that we should not do it here. It is a a procedure that is done about 200 times a year where we are going, and has been done in Israel 3 times. We have also already given a 3,500 $ non - refundable deposit. I already reached out to the Dr.'s office and got a 20,000$ discount (12,000 is the remaining sum) but it needs to be paid in full before the procedure. In addition if she ends up needing a longer ICU stay then expected it will cost us another 1,700 $ a day.

I love how everyone focused on the go- fund me part. My main question was whether I should drain savings or refinance my mortgage which is much easier monthly payments then a short term gmach loan/or ccdebt that needs to be paid in a year, but over the course of the 25 years we have left will mean we paid double the amount in interest.

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:13 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

We pay us taxes but don't have a us bank account. We received the stimulus by check, and we wire transfer our accountant to pay the taxes yearly. If you know of a way to legally open a bank account without a us address, while still in israel please enlighten me. The dr. needs full payment 7 days before the procedure. The is no way to by private US insurance that will cover this specific issue because it is a pre- existing condition.

Apparently things are very different in reality then they are in your imagination.

penguin

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:14 pm

What about the organizations that help with medical needs? Ezer Mitzion? Chai Lifeline? I'm sure there are others. (Zichron Shloime Refuah Fund, for example, helps obtain insurance I think. I don't know if it's limited to certain illnesses or for anyone.)

Did you speak to any of them? Possibly they can help with funding or interest free loans that are easier than gemach conditions.

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:19 pm

Do they help with non- cancer related procedures? DD was born with this cranio-facial disfigurement that requires her to have a trach and can only eat thru feeding tube. Do the help for this kind of thing?

chanchy123

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I honestly think you should speak with a professional financial consultant. I know someone if you’re interested I’ll look up his details.