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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
OP
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Mon, Aug 10 2020, 9:14 pm
Hi! Dc was bullied relentlessly the past year and has so much rage and anger. It destroyed dc’s self esteem Can you please help me find a THERAPIST that can help empower dc heal from the trauma & get to the root of the issue.I’m in Brooklyn. P.S. I wasn’t aware of it most of the year, I just knew dc was absolutely miserable and acting out in horrible ways I’m the home front. Then covid came along...
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groovy1224
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Mon, Aug 10 2020, 10:31 pm
I don't have a recommendation for you, but I am so sorry for you and your child, that is heartbreaking.
Maybe put in your thread title that you are looking for a therapist recommendation, you might get some more responses.
Wishing you healing, and hatzlacha.
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amother
Aubergine
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Mon, Aug 10 2020, 10:37 pm
I have no therapist recommendations unfortunately but I have to tell you that I feel so bad for your child....I had one son who was bullied so badly that I had to switch him schools....my other child is also bullied a lot..they call names and I teach my child to try to ignore them or say "lines" to them...etc...I also try to build my childs self esteem by building them up in areas they are good in such as other hobbies/talents etc. (Teaching them karate (taking classes) can help the bullied child feel empowered ...)
Hatzlacha...
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amother
Firebrick
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Mon, Aug 10 2020, 11:18 pm
Izzy Kalman. He is an expert on bullies. Wrote some books about it. That's all he does. He has a website: bullies2buddies.com.
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amother
Jade
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Mon, Aug 10 2020, 11:30 pm
All I can recomend is act fast and only to the best therapies. And keep asking therapust how you can help. I made sure for about 3 years after bullying that my child did not get a seat next to the bully - they change seats every 3 months here. Also that when there were school projects my child is not in the bullys group. I said to school that the therapist told me to tell school. Was not true, I didnt ask therapist. But I felt that with all the therapy and teaching my child to be strong it was still too early to put the "lion" close to my child
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 1:29 am
Thanks all! I need recommendations for a therapist. My child feels destroyed and needs to heal emotionally.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 1:30 am
groovy1224 wrote: | I don't have a recommendation for you, but I am so sorry for you and your child, that is heartbreaking.
Maybe put in your thread title that you are looking for a therapist recommendation, you might get some more responses.
Wishing you healing, and hatzlacha. |
Amen! Thank you.
How do I change me thread title?
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amother
Blush
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 8:54 am
This is not going to be popular on here but my kids bullies were on the bus so I got on the bus and threatened them and after that had no problem.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 9:38 am
amother [ Blush ] wrote: | This is not going to be popular on here but my kids bullies were on the bus so I got on the bus and threatened them and after that had no problem. |
You did the right thing. Thankfully my child’s bully is on a different bus!!
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 9:49 am
You're lucky you're not in Israel. In DD's school, they made bullies and victims sit next to each other "so that they could learn to get along."
No, it does NOT work. Maybe in fairyland, but not IRL with real kids.
Then they wonder why DD started ditching classes, and then ditching school all together. She finally dropped out completely and refused to go back. The school didn't care, and they told her to go enroll somewhere else.
At that point the damage was done, and I was dealing with meltdowns and school refusal. She was losing more and more credits by the day. After 6 months of this, I was forced to send her back to America to finish high school, or else she would have had to repeat her senior year in order to graduate.
She made the dean's list last semester.
I wish more teachers would get involved and help all the kids, bullies and victims alike, but not at the expense of each other.
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lilies
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 10:15 am
amother [ Blush ] wrote: | This is not going to be popular on here but my kids bullies were on the bus so I got on the bus and threatened them and after that had no problem. |
Sometimes a mother's gotta do what a mother's gotta do.
I'm curious what you threatened them with, and the age group, girls/boys?
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amother
Coral
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 10:22 am
another vote for Izzy Kalman
hope your child heals fast and rebounds stronger than ever!!!
hugs and hatzlocha Op
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amother
Hotpink
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 11:36 am
Take him out of the school and put him in another one. Therapy takes time, don't send him back to the bullies.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 4:16 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | another vote for Izzy Kalman
hope your child heals fast and rebounds stronger than ever!!!
hugs and hatzlocha Op |
Amen!! I’m trying to reach him.
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amother
Sienna
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Tue, Aug 11 2020, 8:14 pm
I'm all for therapy. But therapy alone doesn't solve every problem. I have a friend who told me not to play the victim when I was divorcing my abusive ex. Years later, her crazy colleague spread rumors about my friend that had no truth to them, but she had to resign to save face.
Only in a fantasy world does standing up to the bully work in every situation. When evil people turn gossip into a Mitzvah, there is not stopping the damage.
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