WWYD? Sister's wedding

amother

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:07 pm

My sister is getting married soon and I will be 39 weeks pregnant at her wedding.
My parents are being totally unrealistic about the coronavirus situation- planning for a normal wedding, 300+ people,inside etc. (NY area)
I think my mother understands that it's not realistic, but I doubt she'll do anything about it- she's not a boat-rocker, and my sister would be soooo upset if she doesn't get to have a normal wedding.

I'm super nervous for obvious reasons- what happens if I catch corona at the wedding and test positive when I go into labor? or if I pass it to my baby during or after birth CH"V? (we tested negative for antibodies).
Additionally we were planning on going to my parents after I have the baby (this is my first), and my mother reassured me that they would quarantine for 2 weeks or whatever beforehand if that was what made us comfortable. Now that's obviously not going to happen...
I just don't know what to do or what's going to be, and all these unknowns are making me so nervous... can you please reassure me that it'll be ok?
This is aside from the stress of having to find a gown that I might not even wear, and wondering whether I'll have the baby before, after, during the wedding....

LittleMissMama

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:25 pm

Is the wedding outdoors at least? Obviously, you should wear a mask the entire time.

I'd also rethink staying by your parents if they do not take precautions (mask and distancing) on a regular basis. I understand you planned on it, but if you fall into the camp of people who take covid seriously, then it sounds like the right thing to do.

Tough times for all, unfortunately. I'm very sorry. Sad

But b'sha tova!

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:30 pm

I just went through this, without the pregnancy aspect. I hated being the only one who cared and felt like no one cared whether I lived or died (I have reason to worry about catching covid).

I wore a mask all evening. I was the only one. I stayed outside in the lobby when the dance floor was crowded. For me, this wedding was an ordeal instead of a simcha.

I wish I could give you more than this, but please do what you think is right, even if everyone around you refuses to.

exhausted

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:35 pm

At the minimum, you and your husband should wear a mask the entire time. Keep a safe distance from people. Use hand sanitizer frequently. Keep in mind, you're doing this for your and your baby's safety.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:35 pm

Wear an N95 to the chuppah and badeken- stand where you need to stand. If you need to go after that, go. Or have a place to be in the hall most of the time and pop in and out carefully.

If your parents are generally careful except for the wedding, then do your best to manage until two weeks after all the festivities have ended, if your parents will start a quarantine then and keep it. Then go and get your help and a break. If not, or if they are, but your newly married sister comes over a lot and isn't, then that won't work.

amother

Brown

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 2:40 pm

I’m one of the more lax people when it comes to coronavirus but at 39 weeks pregnant even I’d be super cautious. I’d probably go to the chuppah in a mask and then leave and definitely not stay with my parents when baby is born.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 4:35 pm

My midwife has been telling me that almost all the covid cases they're seeing in their practice are fine with mild to no symptoms. Don't stress about it; I would think the stress is worse for you than anything else. Ready for the tomatoes.

amother

Tan

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 4:37 pm

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

This exactly. I just gave birth and was hyper cautious the last 2-3 weeks before. Even though I spoke with the hospital and they told me they don't separate Mom and baby if I'm positive they only don't allow the baby in the nursery. I didn't want to take any chances.
It's a tough situation op. I'd probably go but stay outdoors or in the hallways most of the time. Not gonna be fun. Good luck! Hopefully you'll have the baby beforehand.

amother

Tan

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 4:38 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

Even though that's true (and I believe it is) I wouldn't take any chances right before having to go into the hospital. You never know how the rules will change and what they'll make you do if you're positive.

amother

Violet

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 4:39 pm

If it’s in NY I’d go without a mask.
Covid is like the regular flu here by now.

You know every school, shul, store, wedding hall is open for months and nothing has happened bh despite media trying to say otherwise.

[The OP has requested practical advice. Let's stick to the topic and not detour into a debate about whether Covid is or is not really serious.
— Rubber Ducky as Mod]

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 4:41 pm

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

Try to get to the hospital as late as possible so by the time they have your results, your baby will be born already. I know it's easier said than done, but a good idea anyway in these crazy times.

amother

Babypink

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:00 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

I’ll never understand the mindset of moving into your mothers house after having a baby. It’s your first baby! You’ll be fine.

Cause that’s what op was discussing here.

rmbg

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:19 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

Exactly. For the slight slight slight chance of getting it you would miss the wedding? What if there was no covid? You could catch the flu there. Would you stay home?

amother

Gold

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:34 pm

I really feel for you Op.

What does your Ob/gyn advise?

I would be extra careful and wouldn't take any chances.

Some drs. consider pregnant women like higher risk. Not trying to concern you rather validate your concerns.

See what your dr. says. Then make a plan you are comfortable with and present it to your family.

hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Amber

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:49 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

I’ll never understand the mindset of moving into your mothers house after having a baby. It’s your first baby! You’ll be fine.

You don’t have to understand everything and you don’t know if she’ll be fine.