Do you have a cleaning lady?

PeanutMama

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 2:01 pm

I don’t.

We like to clean by ourselves and thank gd my mother taught me how to clean at a very young age (starting at 3-4 with age appropriate chores). Yes with a baby it gets very crazy and little gets undone.
My husband HATES cleaning ladies. Like he doesn’t trust them at all lol and he anyway likes to clean.
For now I have a baby, and I don’t do much. I divide the chores by day which is simpler. Thursday I usually sweep and mop and polish the candlesticks lekavod shabbos
But once I have more children iyH I plan to teach them the skills my mother taught me.
I’ll make a list of what I was taught through my childhood.

3-6yrs: pick up the toys from the floor and put them in the toy box
7-10 yrs: make the bed, help mom rinse dishes with her help (in the beginning), sweep nicely plus pick up any toys from the floor put them back where they belong
10-12yrs: mop the floor, dust the furniture (basically get a shmatteh and put a drop of wood oil and rub on the wood for a nice shine), clean the mirrors with vinegar and water with newspaper paper, you can rub the ink off or use gloves to avoid the ink stains. Clean toilet and sink. Learn how to do laundry then how to fold the clothing and put them away.
At 15 I was taught how to deep clean the bathtub. Like get on your hands and knees deep clean.
Just regular Ajax, and a hard green sponge to get the grimy stuff off. I was also taught how to rake the gravel in the backyard and how to pull the weeds from the ground. Now that I live here there are no weeds to tug out or gravel to rake xD

Oh and once a year we’d do spring cleaning where all the family would go around the house with water and a shmatte and wipe the part of the wall on the bottom free of dust in the grooves. If there were any stains on the wall from a booger or spilled juice we would need to scrub it off.

I have 3 younger siblings so the chores were divided between us. When we finished we’d go out to eat or to the park as a reward.

Now my mother didn’t have the most patience. Often in the beginning, we’d drop and break fragile things and we’d get scolded. But quickly we learn to handle fragile delicate things with care.
We all helped each other in the house. We all did chores not just us kids.
My mother would vacuum the sofa and my stepdad would mow the yard and take care of the gravel in the backyard and pull out the weeds.
We did all this with music in the background to motivate us and encourage us. We also took 15-20 min break between the harder chores. Hee hee

I hated it, but I’m grateful to my mother for instilling cleaning from a young age.

If we were very sick we’d do simple stuff (organize the room) and then we can lay in bed.

ExtraCredit

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 2:11 pm

With one child I didn’t have yet. Now I wouldn’t manage without.
Growing up I did a bunch of chores but we still had a cleaning lady for bathrooms, floors and deep cleaning like fridge.

amother

Purple

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 2:28 pm

Yeh. I did everything age appropriate from age 7. New generation is different. My kids do chores age appropriate but complain ALOT. Like why do I have to do it.

amother

Green

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 2:58 pm

I think a lot of non Jews use Saturdays as their day to clean. This is not possible for frum Jews.

Also school days are long for frum kids. Frum boys often have school on Sunday as well. Frum kids have double homework -English and Hebrew.

I don't like having a cleaning lady and she definitely doesn't do as thorough a job as I do. However I have 3 kids bH and work full time and it's extremely difficult for me otherwise. I didn't get cleaning help until I was pregnant with #3.

So yes, with one baby, I don't see why you can't clean your apartment by yourself. But iyH as your family grows, you'll see more clearly why people have it.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:02 pm

We do have a cleaning lady 1 morning a week. DH grew up with it so he's ok with it. My MIL works more than full-time and depends on her help a lot.

When we were first married we didn't have cleaning help at all. We were both extremely busy and cleaning our apartment wasn't the highest priority. Every so often it would get gross enough that we'd take an evening and clean together.

We didn't have children right away and were able to buy a house when I was pregnant with our oldest. DH was working crazy hours by then and I was so sick I could barely take care of myself let alone a house. It got really bad and then my MIL sent her help one day to deep clean and convinced us to hire someone. We got really lucky and our cleaning lady has been coming to us once a week for 13 years.

We do have our kids do chores that we consider age appropriate. I think that's very important. Also, cleaning help once a week isn't for the daily dirt so we take care of that ourselves obviously.

PeanutMama

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:18 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

Yeh. I did everything age appropriate from age 7. New generation is different. My kids do chores age appropriate but complain ALOT. Like why do I have to do it.

Oh I was that kid. My mother was very strict! I would lose privileges and I’d gain them back after I did what I was supposed to do without asking.

Took me a very long time to learn no is no haha.

Nobody believes me when I tell them this.

PeanutMama

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:31 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

Yeah we did Saturday cleaning. Maybe we’ll just spread out the cleaning during the week

mha3484

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:33 pm

I dont have one but also I am not particularly social so a large percentage of the year motzei shabbos is my main cleaning time. I feel like a lot of people are not into that at all. I see posts here in the winter about melave malkas and I am in my PJs cleaning my bathroom lol. In the summer when shabbos ends very late I find the cleaning harder to keep up with but its temporary I dont stress out.

I think its more about how many kids are home all day and their personalities versus how many kids I have. If my 4 kids were all under 5 I would probably feel that I needed significant help. My oldest is almost 10 and most of my kids are in school so I find that if I am organized, I can get it done without paying for help. Instead I pay for take out and convenience food to make that part of my life easier.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:37 pm

when my kids were younger we did not have one now my kids are on their own and we have one every two weeks

amother

Indigo

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:38 pm

Never had a cleaning lady, and don't have one. But I also grew up in an incredibly dirty, messy, dysfunctional household. Definitely didn't learn any skills there! I figured out a LOT since I set up my own home, and there's plenty of room to grow. Confused

I'm pp now with #3, so I'm falling a little behind, but I'm glad and proud that I can care for my home. It feels like a respectful service to G-d, somehow - that I'm respecting creation by treating it well.

amother

Brown

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 3:41 pm

If you don't like to clean, don't have the time, or aren't good at it, and you pay your cleaner a living wage, there's no reason not to outsource cleaning. It's no better or worse than hiring an accountant to do your taxes.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:03 pm

Bh yes! I love her a lot. She’s been with me for over 12 years and is part of my family. She literally runs my life. Writes my grocery list, goes to the cleaners, cooks dinner... I honestly don’t know how people manage without. There is always so much to do and it’s impossible to keep on top of it. Dishes, laundry, linens, ironing, cooking, bathrooms, toys everywhere, bathrooms and on and on... My husband is very particular and no matter how hard I try he is never satisfied with my skills. Bh for my cleaning lady.

SuperWify

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:11 pm

B”H yes! Ever since I was pregnant with my son. Can’t do it any other way.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:13 pm

I go in and out with having one. Currently I have one just once a week a full day. I grew up having one three times a week full day. My mother worked more than full time and we did plenty plenty plenty of jobs but I happened to hate cleaning so I always got the cooking jobs. (Like I cooked supper lots of nights, I did a lot of Shabbos, I took care of my siblings).
Personally I function a lot better when I have one, I am not a cleaner, at my house kind of flies. DH does most of the cleaning in my house while I do most of the cooking. If you can live without one great, but there's nothing wrong with having one.

rainbow dash

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:24 pm

I grew up knowing how to clean. Bh I got a cleaner 3 times a week. During quarantine I did it myself but its extremely tiring. Just doing the bathroom I was finished.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:28 pm

I’ve learned from this site that it’s a cultural thing. Practically everyone I know, from when I was growing up and now, has cleaning help. I did not grow up in a wealthy community. I would have to God forbid be poverty stricken to get rid of my cleaning help.

amother

Mustard

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:37 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

It is a frum cultural thing. It is seen as a necessity, so no one ever learns to clean themselves.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:40 pm

oh to be able to afford such luxuries! Haven't had one in years. Even after giving birth and after surgery I didn't have one ...

Actually, that's not exactly true. I have 3! (Me, Myself, and I!)

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:46 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

It is a frum cultural thing. It is seen as a necessity, so no one ever learns to clean themselves.

And why is that such a bad thing?

BetsyTacy

Thu, Sep 17 2020, 4:48 pm

mha, you are not the only one. When I worked fulltime, vaccuuming, dusting and "official" floor cleaning was all done on motzei shabbos.

I don't like strangers in my stuff.

I actually do worry about how I will feel when I am old and infirm...