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amother
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Sat, Sep 26 2020, 6:16 pm
Going anon so I can discuss this openly:
I read this book as a kid, as part of my elementary school library. The main character's father reminded me powerfully of my dad. I remember praying at the end that my mother would take me away like his mother did.
In the run-up to Yom Kippur, my father presented me with an insincere and irrelevant apology which simultaneously painted him as a hero and a victim, and which he expected me to both laud and submit to. I hung up the phone before he finished, and felt a thrill of independence - I had the power to choose freedom.
My dad's phone call came a day after my mother accused me of unfairly cold-shouldering him. After I gave examples of how abusive and violent he is, she became angry and defensive, and finally proclaimed that she is just as much at fault for any abuse I remember as he is.
And I can't get it out of my head. She's right. Time and again, she chose him over us. Time and again, a dozen times a day, she let him hurt us and her. She completely enables his abuse. She is responsible for it too.
And now I'm craving this book. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because it plays out a world where my mum might have defended me. Maybe it recalls me to that sudden wild vision that I might just run away, and leave... Until the police brought me back home. Maybe I just need to wallow in self pity right now. But I wish I had been a Daughter of Liberty.
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NotLazySusan
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Sat, Sep 26 2020, 8:40 pm
You are not alone.
I haven’t seen or spoken to my parents in over a decade which helps decrease feelings of powerlessness.
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