For your outgoing chilled teens

amother

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 1:48 am

How late do u let them out with friends on chal hamoied? 15 16 years old. I mean the average good boys just boys that like to go out and spend with friends. Do you have a time you expect them back or you would just trust on them?

amother

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 2:08 am

yksraya wrote:

Maybe have them call you so that you know they are safe?

I'm always in touch with my son while he is out , I'm just curious to know as he is my first teen and am wondering what's normal ? My ds is more outgoing and can get home late at night , not randomly just like on chal hamoid . I wonder if I should allow this or not.

amother

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 2:09 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Late at night meaning 1:00 but I know where he is and am in touch with him.

amother

Oak

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 6:29 am

12/1 seems more than reasonable enough.
Discuss it with him and reach a time that works for both of you.

amother

Beige

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 7:35 am

Depends where you live where he is and who he is with and how is he getting home.
What do mothers in your group say?
I would speak with them and then make your own decision.
I would not let til 1:00 but it may be ok in your circles.
Also in our home we need to know everyone is home and make sure all is locked up. We wait up for our kids to come home and consider 12 late enough. And if there is any issue with needing a ride home 1:00 is too late for us to start dealing with that barring a true emergency.
15/16 still is not 17/18 and we do trust them.
Perhaps we would check discreetly with rebbe /rebbetzin and/or parents we trust/admire with a bit older kids what goes in these circles.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 7:36 am

Right now no going out if you live in Brooklyn. They are probably at the dangerous despicable protests. Their lives and futures are in danger there.

amother

Beige

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 7:37 am

Tangerine why jump to assumptions? We try not to make conclusions on our fellow Yidden as well as the rest of people. Please start a spin off if you must and let Op get input on parenting her first teen.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 7:44 am

I didn't jump to a conclusion. I said IF in Brooklyn no going out now because it's dangerous.

amother

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 10:26 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

I didn't jump to a conclusion. I said IF in Brooklyn no going out now because it's dangerous.

Were not in Brooklyn. I knew where he was and with whom. he was in touch with me . He loves fun, and he was out with friends but I really wanted him home earlier just seems like until car came to pick them up and till they got themselves together took some more time. I did stay up to wait of course but I wasnt so happy that he arrived home at 1:30 . My son claimed its chal hamoied so he felt it's ok.

essie14

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 10:28 am

When we are not in lockdown (I live in Israel) and when there is no school in the morning, we let our 15 yr old stay out til 12. He has a smartphone and stays in touch via WhatsApp throughout the night. if he had a good reason for being out later, I'd probably be ok with it. He texts when he gets home so if I wake up in the middle of the night I can know he's in bed without having to go into his room. He's extremely responsible and makes good choices and has good friends.

twizzlers1

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 11:05 am

I let my teenagers stay out till 1:00 or maybe a bit later. as long as I know where they are and who they're with and have a phone I'm not concerned. They don't really go out until the evening. I'm in Israel so going out and going to sit at the park.

amother

Peach

Thu, Oct 08 2020, 11:14 am

If I need to pick up my teen, then 1 o'clock is the latest im willing to go on on a non school night. 12 on a school night.

Typically my kids will check in with me. I request updates if they change locations.