Professor cursing in class

kenz

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What would you do or think if you found out that one of your son's secular studies professors routinely curses in class and when talking to students at a frum Jewish college?

Disgusting, but I'm not sure I would do anything about it. I would expect college kids to speak up for themselves though. I presume the professor isn't frum?

amother

Olive

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:16 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What would you do or think if you found out that one of your son's secular studies professors routinely curses in class and when talking to students at a frum Jewish college?

If your child is old enough for college, you MYOB. Sorry, he's an adult. If he has an issue he can take it up with admin.

Java

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:16 pm

Zero. I think that parents should not be getting involved in their child's education past the high school stage. If it bothers your son then he's old enough to figure out how to deal with it maturely on his own.
ETA: and it's a good life lesson for him to learn how to deal with people who behave in ways that make him uncomfortable, which he will no doubt encounter in the workplace as well

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:22 pm

I have a bachelors degree and 2 masters degrees, all obtained at secular colleges. Vulgarities and profanities are how it goes... Especially in the social sciences. The other students (non Jewish) weren't as vulgar in my experience.

Sadly there's nothing that anyone can do about it. If he speaks up he may be marked down. It's his college experience so there's nothing you can do.

If you're looking for a better option consider an online college where you study on your own (watch recordings, read materials) and take tests and submit papers completely online. Only attended a class if I wanted to (all virtual) and there were no profanities at all. Affordable too, cheapest college I attended.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Dec 29 2022, 12:21 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:29 pm

Thanks, all. I know I can't say anything- the question was more how or if to talk to my son about it. I know it bothers him; he has previously switched study groups and the like to avoid fellow students who curse a lot. I also know he won't say anything, because he doesn't want to put himself out there and have it known it was him. But he was supposed to be getting help from this professor on an assignment, and the way he spoke to my son was very blunt and profane ("get off your d--n a-s!"). And my son said that is on the tame side of his vocabulary.

STMommy

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:30 pm

I think it would be okay for the students to respectfully say that they are sensitive to use of profanity as they consider it it not permitted and request for the professor to please not use profanities in class.
I'm actually surprised the prof didn't realize, nor was told by administration when he was hired.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I wouldn't. If it's that important to him then he'll deal with it on his own.

zaq

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:37 pm

YOU do nothing. Your ds is an adult even if he's still your baby, and you don't even have any legal right to get involved, even if you're footing the bill. However, if your ds is bothered by this, which evidently he is if he told you about it, advise HIM to speak first to the professor, and if that doesn't work, to the department chair, and finally to the administration if necessary. (He should also poll his classmates; if others are equally offended, they should approach the professor as a group. There's power in numbers.) The professor is being a. unprofessional; b.offensive; c. disrespectful of the students; and d. disrespectful of the school's principles. Using profanity in a frum school is like having s@x in a church, lehavdil.

Are you the same amother who embarrassed her son by writing a protest letter to the school administration and mentioning his name? If yes, it's nice to see that you and your son are so close and he is comfortable confiding in you, but something tells me you're a little too involved. College students are considered adults and this is when they're supposed to learn to function independently of their parents.

Amarante

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 12:45 pm

What do you consider to be cursing.

In my experience there are certain expressions and words which are not normally used in professional or academic settings and so the use would be jarring unless they were deliberately being used to make a point. People don't generally use the F word or the C word of even the S word in "polite company".

However there are other expressions which might be classified as curses which are not considered to be as vulgar.

jerusalem90

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:42 pm

I think context matters. If he's cursing at the students like you said 'get off your dm a$$' that's pretty bad and should be discussed with administration. Though it's really the rudeness/meanness and not the vulgarity. If he said "get off your lazy butt" that's really not better.

If he just loves to toss the "f" word in or trying to be funny ("how am I doing? Well it's fking Monday, how do you think I'm doing?!", --that sort of thing), then I'd just tell DS that that's just the way a subset of secular culture is and he may find it distasteful but sometimes you gotta accept what you can't change.

amother

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:45 pm

zaq wrote:

Are you the same amother who embarrassed her son by writing a protest letter to the school administration and mentioning his name? If yes, it's nice to see that you and your son are so close and he is comfortable confiding in you, but something tells me you're a little too involved. College students are considered adults and this is when they're supposed to learn to function independently of their parents.

Not me. Although I have in common with her that I am an alumnus of the same institution. And ds didn't proactively tell me. He was doing a Zoom session during the professor's office hours without headphones, and then hurried to plug them in when I walked by the room. Noticing that I had heard, he explained.

I am not contacting the school. But it upsets me. And I don't even know what I would advise him. His impression is that most of the guys don't mind, or at least won't say anything. At this point, he's just hoping he doesn't need to take this professor again. I think if it looks like he might, we would explain.

amother

Amber

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But the fact that this professor seems to think that your son is not up to par on his course work does not worry you?

Personally, I would rather focus on this problem than on the "curse word problem"...

Because a good student can afford to comlain about the language used in a course... but if I were on the weaker side, I would not do it, I would concentrate on getting on with my college work...

amother

Oak

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 1:52 pm

I would contact the admin.
Especially at a frum institution.
I AM paying tuition.
I am not interested in this standard for my kid.
Whether s/he cares or not.
And would not want to put said kid on the spot.
Let him or her decide if they want to stand up to the unprofessional professional.
I pay the big bucks there so as to hopefully have a certain environment.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Oct 20 2020, 3:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What would you do or think if you found out that one of your son's secular studies professors routinely curses in class and when talking to students at a frum Jewish college?

I'd expect it from a secular college, and say there's nothing you can do about it.

At a FRUM college? I'm really shocked that this is going on. I wonder if admin even know about it.

If your son is very concerned, he's well within his rights to send a carefully worded letter to the admin of the college and explain why he feels uncomfortable with this professor. If he can record some of the swearing, that's even better, and more likely to get results.