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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
amother
OP
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Sat, Nov 07 2020, 11:56 pm
We don’t have school bussing for my boys school, from Jackson to Lakewood....my neighbor sends her boys to the same Yeshiva and drives Monday - Thursday as she works at an office building right down the street. So she’s passing anyways and doesn’t mind driving. I bring my son to her every morning. She never waits for us, we’re on time. My husband takes Fridays as she doesn’t work Friday, and it’s my way of giving back a little. She doesn’t want money but I feel it’s only mentschlich. For 4 mornings a week, and me going to her, how much is fair and going rate? Thanks!!
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amother
Mustard
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 12:25 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | We don’t have school bussing for my boys school, from Jackson to Lakewood....my neighbor sends her boys to the same Yeshiva and drives Monday - Thursday as she works at an office building right down the street. So she’s passing anyways and doesn’t mind driving. I bring my son to her every morning. She never waits for us, we’re on time. My husband takes Fridays as she doesn’t work Friday, and it’s my way of giving back a little. She doesn’t want money but I feel it’s only mentschlich. For 4 mornings a week, and me going to her, how much is fair and going rate? Thanks!! |
If she doesn’t want money then maybe a nice gift would be better (or even a gift card to a popular store that she definitely would use ... I often give to Lakewood Judaica )
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familyfirst
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 1:33 am
Calculate how much money you are saving in gas
Ex: your house to school And back would be two dollars
Your hiuse to her And back is one dollar
Pay her $1 a day
Or fill up her gas tank every two weeks
Or something like that
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amother
Pink
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 2:22 am
That’s around a 9-mile drive, 4 mornings a week? The $1/day suggestion is too little. I would give at least $20/week as a token of appreciation.
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notshanarishona
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 5:11 am
Depending on the age of your son, does she need a booster for him? What happens if her kids don’t go to school? Does she have any responsibilities to you?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 6:27 am
notshanarishona wrote: | Depending on the age of your son, does she need a booster for him? What happens if her kids don’t go to school? Does she have any responsibilities to you? |
No, he’s old enough not to need a booster
If she doesn’t go to work or her kids don’t go to school, me or my husband drive
It’s 7 miles to school
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notshanarishona
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 6:35 am
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amother
Plum
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 7:18 am
notshanarishona wrote: | I think $2-3 a day. |
Whatever amount you decide on, it will probably be accepted more graciously as a gift card, or gift of that value that you know she’ll appreciate, than as cash. It sounds like she doesn’t want to feel like a taxi driver and more just a friend.
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ra_mom
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 7:26 am
Give her a gas gift card once in 2 months.
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sweet
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 7:56 am
I pay from TR to lakewood 25$ a week.
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amother
Blush
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 7:58 am
I live in toms river and pass by my neighbors school every day omw to work. She hadn't had any ride set up yet (bh my girls have bus and my husband drives my boys) so I offered to drive her kids. She said something about money, and I said no way, I'm offering this because I'm passing by anyway and I won't take anything. She then said listen, I get $1000 per kid to drive them. Im not keeping that money. It goes to the one driving them; either a van service that I find, or you! It really made sense to me. Though I still would've felt funny taking the money. So I'm happy her can worked out lol
But looking at it that way, think you're getting 1000 per kid and you're driving one of 5 days. So maybe give her 400 (4/5, for one way) over the year per kid? That sounds generous. 40 a month. You definitely don't have to do THAT much, especially if she doesn't want. But you literally do get the money to bring them to school. So idk
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amother
Amethyst
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 8:08 am
amother [ Blush ] wrote: | I live in toms river and pass by my neighbors school every day omw to work. She hadn't had any ride set up yet (bh my girls have bus and my husband drives my boys) so I offered to drive her kids. She said something about money, and I said no way, I'm offering this because I'm passing by anyway and I won't take anything. She then said listen, I get $1000 per kid to drive them. Im not keeping that money. It goes to the one driving them; either a van service that I find, or you! It really made sense to me. Though I still would've felt funny taking the money. So I'm happy her can worked out lol
But looking at it that way, think you're getting 1000 per kid and you're driving one of 5 days. So maybe give her 400 (4/5, for one way) over the year per kid? That sounds generous. 40 a month. You definitely don't have to do THAT much, especially if she doesn't want. But you literally do get the money to bring them to school. So idk |
ooooh - I am in the exact same situation. Driving neighbors from Toms River to Lakewood - I hope my neighbor is reading this and offers me money!!!! I can really use it. Neighbor- please offer me the money you are getting. I would never ask but it would so very much be greatly appreciated!!!
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 8:17 am
amother [ Blush ] wrote: | I live in toms river and pass by my neighbors school every day omw to work. She hadn't had any ride set up yet (bh my girls have bus and my husband drives my boys) so I offered to drive her kids. She said something about money, and I said no way, I'm offering this because I'm passing by anyway and I won't take anything. She then said listen, I get $1000 per kid to drive them. Im not keeping that money. It goes to the one driving them; either a van service that I find, or you! It really made sense to me. Though I still would've felt funny taking the money. So I'm happy her can worked out lol
But looking at it that way, think you're getting 1000 per kid and you're driving one of 5 days. So maybe give her 400 (4/5, for one way) over the year per kid? That sounds generous. 40 a month. You definitely don't have to do THAT much, especially if she doesn't want. But you literally do get the money to bring them to school. So idk |
I’m giving up my aid in lieu - that’s the way Jackson works - because I get bussing in the afternoon
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amother
Blue
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:03 am
I paid a neighbor to take my son to school in the mornings last year. Neighbor was going anyway. I paid 100 a month. I thought that was fair and would keep us all on good terms. It did!!! It’s like - pay to play. There were many other people who wanted that spot. Because I had a paying arrangement, I was able to have a great year and not worry about anyone flaking out.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:05 am
amother [ Blue ] wrote: | I paid a neighbor to take my son to school in the mornings last year. Neighbor was going anyway. I paid 100 a month. I thought that was fair and would keep us all on good terms. It did!!! It’s like - pay to play. There were many other people who wanted that spot. Because I had a paying arrangement, I was able to have a great year and not worry about anyone flaking out. |
Did she pick up your son from your house? Was it Sunday - Friday?
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dancingqueen
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:11 am
amother [ Plum ] wrote: | Whatever amount you decide on, it will probably be accepted more graciously as a gift card, or gift of that value that you know she’ll appreciate, than as cash. It sounds like she doesn’t want to feel like a taxi driver and more just a friend. |
Sure but it’s normal for friends to either participate by driving or offer to pay. Driving every day is a big deal.
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amother
Wine
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:20 am
I live in Baltimore and the going rate to drive kids for pay to any of the schools is between 60-80 per child per direction per month for 5 days a week.
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octopus
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:24 am
You offered to pay. She declined. It's very sweet of you to offer. Like others have said, you can try giving a small gift as a token of appreciation. It doesn't have to be the price you would have paid for transportation.
Your neighbor may be very thrilled about the Fridays. It may be worth doing the whole week just not to have to do Friday. It's also very nice you bring your kids over but please don't say she is going anyway. It's another kid to buckle in. It's another kid to change the dynamic in a car ride. You obviously do appreciate it very much as you only want to get her something.
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dancingqueen
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:26 am
octopus wrote: | You offered to pay. She declined. It's very sweet of you to offer. Like others have said, you can try giving a small gift as a token of appreciation. It doesn't have to be the price you would have paid for transportation.
Your neighbor may be very thrilled about the Fridays. It may be worth doing the whole week just not to have to do Friday. It's also very nice you bring your kids over but please don't say she is going anyway. It's another kid to buckle in. It's another kid to change the dynamic in a car ride. You obviously do appreciate it very much as you only want to get her something. |
People demur to be polite all the time.
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amother
Chocolate
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Sun, Nov 08 2020, 9:54 am
I like the idea of a gas card
Or different gift card every 2 months
To restaurant, amazon or just a visa gift card
Even if she declines it’s the right thing to do
And please include a nice thank you card
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