S/o Gentle/positive parenting book recommendations

amother

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 7:38 pm

Hi all,

I loved the thread on gentle parenting and learned so much.
This does not come easily to me and it was a real chizuk and help to read scenarios and suggestions.
I don't really have the time or money to do a parenting course right now so please suggest your best parenting books!
TIA Very Happy

amother

Fuchsia

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 7:45 pm

How old are your kids?

Books by: Dan Siegel, Vanessa Lapointe, Janet Lansbury, Alfie Kohn, Bridgett Miller, Gordon Neufeld
The book Positive Discipline

Zehava

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 7:46 pm

Two books got me to where I am now, even though neither is directly about parenting.
Complex PTSD by Pete Walker taught me about my own triggers so I can heal and thus be more present. I couldn’t be there for me kids if I was in perpetual flashback and reacting to everything as a threat.
Nonviolent communication is really about communicating with anyone in a positive way. But when you use it with your kids it’s a game changer.

amother

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 7:47 pm

Thank you

Ok have been wanting to read Dan Siegel for ages.

My kids are 6 (this week!), 4, and 19 months.

amother

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 7:50 pm

Thanks Zehava.

Is non-violent communication a book?
I have heard of the concept and the course.

Just want to say I really admire your approach to parenting and learn so much from your posts x

Zehava

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 8:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks Zehava.

Is non-violent communication a book?
I have heard of the concept and the course.

Just want to say I really admire your approach to parenting and learn so much from your posts x

Yes it’s a book. I’m still in the middle of it and it’s amazing.
Thank you!

amother

Black

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 8:58 pm

The Nurtured Heart Approach changed everything about my parenting. I can't say I follow the book exactly but a big takeaway for me was withhold all negative and focus on positive. It sounds so basic but when I read the book it really resonated with me.

Zehava

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:04 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

Just gonna put this out there that I had a visceral reaction to this approach right away. It’s pretty rigid, rule based, relies heavily on praise, is very behavior focused, and overall feels like dog-training more than child-raising.

amother

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:06 pm

Thanks so much everyone for your responses:)

I have already ordered NVC and The Whole Brain Child.
Will follow the thread for more ideas.

amother

Black

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:20 pm

Zehava wrote:

I know what you mean and this is probably why I never followed it. I still appreciated the perspective as I posted before. I grew up with parents who were the exact opposite-ignored all of the good and focused heavily on anything they considered bad-so I really gained from reading this.
Eta the newer version doesn't have the reward system. Is that why you had such a strong reaction? They don't use that system anymore. Maybe you'd appreciate the book more now.

amother

Burlywood

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:20 pm

Zehava wrote:

Do you properly understand the book? I’m trying to read it - I’m even taking Blimi me hellers book club course but it’s really confusing and hard to apply.

amother

Burlywood

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:21 pm

pause wrote:

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk

And if you have little kids I’ve gained tremendously from Hoe to Talk Do Little Kids Will Listen.

mha3484

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:23 pm

I really like the whole brain child and no drama discipline. the explosive child is excellent if your child is more challenging and The author also has a book for more typical children called raising human beings.

Zehava

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:32 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

I didn’t actually read the book. Dds school uses this approach with her and they wanted me to follow it at home.

Zehava

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:33 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Do you properly understand the book? I’m trying to read it - I’m even taking Blimi me hellers book club course but it’s really confusing and hard to apply.

Yes I do but I can imagine how it wouldn’t be so clear to everyone. It requires a lot of baseline self-awareness and understanding of other people.

amother

Apricot

Sat, Nov 21 2020, 9:39 pm

Conscious parenting is great and another great method is P.E.T. Parent Effectiveness Training

HeartyAppetite

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 12:07 am

amother [ Black ] wrote:

I tried this approach before I started gentle parenting. I found it to be very rigid, and punishing the child every time he misbehaves, without even talking to the child. The overall praise also makes the child feel like he is only loved when he does something good.

trixx

Sun, Nov 22 2020, 1:01 am

If you wanted to read one book to give you an approach that you can practically implement - positive discipline (for whichevrr ages apply to you)