Clingy toddler | Imamother

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:54 am

How can I unclingafy my 15 month old? He kvetches until I pick him up, and he’s only happy when he’s on my hip. The two problems with this is that I can’t do anything while holding him and he’s very heavy. I try playing with him on the floor instead, but that helps for 30 seconds before he crawls onto my lap and begs me to hold him. I’m going crazy

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:57 am

ALL my kids are like that. It’s called high needs.
This is what I do:
I hold them.
This is worth it, they turn into healthy confident people when they’re older , not that we have a choice but if we’re doing it anyway we should at least do it lovingly.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:58 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

My back is in constant pain, and I can’t get anything done.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:05 am

Practically speaking:
When I drive with music in car they’re happy and also when walking in fresh air so when my hands hurt I do that.
I bought a handheld cordless vacuum cleaner and that’s how I “sweep” the kitchen
My cleaning lady does laundry , folding , ironing.
I cook very easy quick suppers when baby naps.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:06 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Don't pick them up. It's a time to learn mommy can't pick you up all the time.

Then what do I do when I’m trying to drink my boiling hot coffee, and he’s pulling on my skirt and crying? How do I eat lunch? My meals are eating while holding him, and it’s usually granola bars because that’s easiest to eat while standing and holding 27 lbs.
How do I go to the bathroom without bringing him in with me?
How do I just sit on the couch for 2 peaceful minutes without him clawing at my legs and screaming “MAMA UP!”

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:07 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Practically speaking
When I drive with music in car they’re happy and also when walking in fresh air so when my hands hurt I do that.
I bought a handheld cordless vacuum cleaner and that’s how I “sweep” the kitchen
My cleaning lady does laundry , folding , ironing.
I cook very easy quick suppers when baby naps.

He likes driving and walking. I’ll do more of that, thanks!
You vacuum while holding your baby?
I like the cooking while napping idea. I’ll start doing that

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My back is in constant pain, and I can’t get anything done.

So maybe sit, don’t vacuum etc....
I wish I had better advice but if your kids are like mine they just need to be held the first years of their life.
At this point I made peace with it.

From around a year old I also send to a babysitter every morning so I have a few hours to get stuff done. (And until a year they anyway nap two times a day so that gives me a bit more free time).

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He likes driving and walking. I’ll do more of that, thanks!
You vacuum while holding your baby?
I like the cooking while napping idea. I’ll start doing that

No I don’t vacuum, my cleaning lady does
But I use the light weight cordless vacuum instead of sweeping the floor with a broom, because that can be done with one hand.
And my kitchen floor needs to be sweeped more often than my cleaning lady comes...

LovesHashem

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He's used to being picked up all the time. If you slowly get him used to not it will he hard and he will cry and scream but I'm sorry you need to live and eat and go to the bathroom

You sit him on the floor and you can hug him and kiss him and reassure him you are there without picking him up.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:29 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don’t bring them with me to the bathroom, I go myself even if they cry for that amount of time which isn’t long.... I just make sure they’re safe.

Your baby sounds really cute by the way!

Teomima

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:31 am

Baby carrier. I know you say your back can hurt but get a good soft structure one that doesn't put the weight on your back, like an Ergo or Beco, and wear your baby like a backpack. It's a lifesaver! Plus they're before you so you can cook, drink coffee, anything. Even sit down for a minute, as long as you don't lean back.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:31 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

He goes to a babysitter while I work in the morning. The rest of the day is really hard with him. And he’s not at the babysitter today. It’s gonna be one looonnnng, painful day Sad

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:32 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

I have a cleaning lady 1x a week. The other 6 days are on me.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:33 am

LovesHashem wrote:

How do I slowly get him used to not being held without him crying and pulling on me? Is there a way?

LovesHashem

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:34 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How do I slowly get him used to not being held without him crying and pulling on me? Is there a way?

Not really. He will cry and pull on you. You have made him used to being held 24/7 and he will be sad to see that go.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:35 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

I don’t bring them with me to the bathroom, I go myself even if they cry for that amount of time which isn’t long.... I just make sure they’re safe.

Your baby sounds really cute by the way!

Ya that’s what I do when I go to the bathroom. He’s safe, but crying.
Thanks! He’s a totally clown lol. Such a funny little guy

amother

Linen

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:35 am

I shift her over to cuddling sitting down. So if she's pulling on my skirt "ok, let's go sit down for some snuggles", and we snuggle for a few minutes and then we play together a bit and then she lets me walk away.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:35 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Not really. He will cry and pull on you. You have made him used to being held 24/7 and he will be sad to see that go.

Thank you. I hope he gets less clingy

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:35 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Ok I’ll try!