Clingy toddler | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

Clingy toddler

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amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 9:15 am

Tzutzie wrote:

Op, if hes anyways by a babysotter in the am, keep him there 1 extra hour and push us an much work as you can in that hour. Including drinking your hot coffee. Then pick him up.
Kids eventually outgrow it but you want him to be confident and happy. Hold him (east to say I know.) It will pass.

My toddlers are either being entertained or they entertain me AND the cleaning lady. They all grow up at some point.
Like right now, mama is taking a break and he's coloring on the table and chairs with (washable) markers his sisters left out last night and mama was to tired to collect......
Kids are a full time job. No way around it. Heart

I like this idea, too! I’ll let him color on his high chair tray.
Am I allowed to put him in his high chair? It feels off to me

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 9:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oooo I love this!
Right now he’s sitting at my feet playing with an empty play dough container. I’m on the couch, and he doesn’t care!!!!! Shhhhhh

Of course that can happen too!
But if you get off the couch to get a book from another room or even from the other side of the room then it’s all over, am I right?

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 9:45 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Of course that can happen too!
But if you get off the couch to get a book from another room or even from the other side of the room then it’s all over, am I right?

10/10 times

amother

Bronze

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 2:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Idk. Do I?

You seem to have a lot of resentment towards your baby.

Frumme

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 2:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m tall, but very skinny and not so strong. Still good?

Yes!

I'm not sure about now with Corona, but I know BuyBuyBaby used to let you try on carriers and they usually had the Baby Bjorn One. Otherwise you can try your luck on FB marketplace (that's where I got mine-- great condition for $60 instead of the full retail price)

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 3:01 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

You seem to have a lot of resentment towards your baby.

Please don’t judge.
We love our babies but it’s still a big job.
It’s really not a contradiction.

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 3:04 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

You seem to have a lot of resentment towards your baby.

No I love his chubby tuchas to pieces! I just don’t like holding him all day. Right now we are sitting on the recliner, and he’s eating potato chips. Without the chips he climbs all over me and tugs my sheitel and whines and insists I stand up with him

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 3:05 pm

Frumme wrote:

Thanks I’ll take a look!

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:17 pm

Just curious OP and coffee - how did your babies adjust to going to a babysitter?

I would guess a very attached baby would have a hard time.

My baby cries for three weeks before getting used it it.
Then corona.
Then another 3 weeks of crying because she had n I memory that she was previously there

amother

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:23 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

He loves it! He gets a little shy in the beginning, but he never cries. And of course he is super psyched when I come pick him up!

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 7:41 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Good question.
The first day I come for only twenty minutes or so (I reassure the babysitter that I’m still paying for the whole day) and just sit on a chair and schmooze with the babysitter while baby sits on my lap. After 5 or 10 minutes baby usually slides off me and plays right by my feet. I continue sitting. When I get up ten minutes later they run after me, of course, and I TAKE THEM HOME.

Next day, DH drops them off by the door says a cheery goodbye and leaves. Babysitter says baby gets nervous for half a second but that’s it, they already know this smiling nice lady , mommy’s friend from yesterday.

Sometimes they still frown by drop off for a day or two but no crying.
(This is with my younger kids! With older ones Their crying was trauma, I think for me probably more than for them! )
Babysitters sit with the kids so it works, that’s her job.
They do tell me that my kids are the best but that they want to be held /sit on lap a lot. Duh.
I’m like ya!

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Nov 26 2020, 8:28 pm

There is nothing abnormal about this behavior, and definitely not something you should be training a baby not to do (unless you don't care about having emotionally healthy children, but I'm going with the assumption that you do care). It's a stage. A relatively short stage. And a personality type. If you respond to his request for strong attachment with loving attachment, it's a huge gift to his emotional health. If he gets the sense that you're disinterested, annoyed, or refusing him on a regular basis, he may stop asking for it but it will leave a scar on his emotional health.

That said, it's not always easy... I have one the same age, and all he wants when I get home from work is MAMA. So, I plan for it. Planning helps. I expect it, and adjust everything accordingly: when I plan to clean, what I plan to cook. Everything.

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