My 3 year old takes off his kappel in the house. Is it Ok?

amother

Jade

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 9:50 am

Yes it's ok. But you might want to encourage him in a positive to wear it so he should get used to it.
May I ask if you're a BT that you have so many kappel questions?

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 9:52 am

If kappel means kippah, yes, it is okay. It takes a while for little boys to get used to wearing it all the time. Gentle reminders not too often and eventually he will get used to it. Best not to make it into a struggle, it makes a longer more difficult road.

amother

Jade

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:02 am

102345 wrote:

no im chasiddish but its my first tree year old.

It's weird for a chassidish person to have all those questions regarding a kappel. Every family/chassidus has their minhagim and most cheders have kappel rules. What does DH say he should wear? What's the cheders rule? What's does the family wear?

amother

Jade

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:12 am

102345 wrote:

we dont know like my dh wants the super velvet and I dont know if its to extreme?

It's not extreme if that's your minhag. Many chassidish boys wear only velvet kaplech. Some chadarim only allow velvet kaplech. You can do a nice embroidery on it. Kaplech by me is entirely DH department.

Frumme

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:14 am

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

I don't think it's too weird, I always assumed it was more the husband's responsibility more than the wife's to determine what style kippah their kids should wear. Imagine it was the other way around, a husband asking questions about whether or not his daughter should wear tights or knee highs and what style/brand/fabric/etc. I don't think anyone would expect him to know details about something he's not familiar with wearing.

amother

Jade

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:18 am

Frumme wrote:

So I said that it's usually Dh department. But most chassidish men sure do have a say when their girls should put on tights. There are no minhagim about fabrics of tights like there are for kaplech.

102345

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:29 am

and what size to get it starts the velvet one by size 1 I like more that size more small should I mabey try a size2 even its a bit big for me or just be fine with a 1?

amother

Jade

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:38 am

102345 wrote:

and what size to get it starts the velvet one by size 1 I like more that size more small should I mabey try a size2 even its a bit big for me or just be fine with a 1?

Take him with you to the store to try it on. The salespeople will help you with sizing.

amother

Denim

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:40 am

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

[Insult to OP removed. Why is that necessary? I can think of many reasons someone would ask these questions. Yes, even a chassidish lady. Let's keep it nice, shall we? - mod]
But it is harmless so I guess we can answer her questions .

amother

Denim

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 10:41 am

102345 wrote:

and what size to get it starts the velvet one by size 1 I like more that size more small should I mabey try a size2 even its a bit big for me or just be fine with a 1?

You need to put it in his head and see how it looks. He needs to look like all other boys in his kita at cheder

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 11:43 am

Op,
He needs time to get used to wearing it. I assume he's going from nothing on his head, to always needing a kappel.. its a big adjustment. Treat him with paitience.
Also, I would try trouble shooting to see what is most comfortable for him. I had one kid who hated to wear yarmulkes but agreed to wear a hat, maybe something like that would work for at home? Or size up so it is easier to stay on? At this age I'd worry more about comfort than looks, once he gets used to being covered you can try to match what everyone else does.

amother

Emerald

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 11:50 am

Frumme wrote:

By me it's reverse. A yarmulke could be colored, with initials, denim..It's a style thing. So I deal with it. Covering knees I ask my husband about.

amother

Emerald

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 11:53 am

102345 wrote:

and what size to get it starts the velvet one by size 1 I like more that size more small should I mabey try a size2 even its a bit big for me or just be fine with a 1?

I would get just one. Fit it on his head. After the upsherin he will probably need a different size. You try it on.

ShishKabob

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 11:53 am

It's normal and it takes time for a boy to get used to wearing one. That's why some people like to get their kids used to it by wearing it for a bit before. Does he have sensory issues?

Frumme

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 12:01 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

So I said that it's usually Dh department. But most chassidish men sure do have a say when their girls should put on tights. There are no minhagim about fabrics of tights like there are for kaplech.

Not talking about when, but rather specifications. For sure there are minhagim about tights vs knee highs, or what fabrics to use. Some groups would never use knee highs, others would only use with maxi skirts, etc. Some are makpid to always put their young girls in white tights every day or on Shabbos. Then when your kids get older there are concerns about denier, seam or no seam, etc etc.

So choosing kippahs, tzitzits, and the like can also get confusing if you're not used to it, like if it's your first boy....

the world's best mom

Tue, Feb 09 2021, 6:16 pm

3 year olds often end up not wearing their kappel the entire time at home. My rule was that they have to wear it when they eat and when they leave the house. Otherwise, I put it on them every so often, but I don't insist it stays on.