Teen boys | Imamother

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Mar 30 2021, 2:30 pm

Sorry, I am not in this parsha myself with teen boys overall. But as a former smoker for years and with many friends and coworkers who smoked, it is very normal for habitual smokers to smoke first thing in the morning, before having anything to eat except maybe a coffee to go with that cigarette.

Smoking itself is a terrible unhealthy habit and I do not approve in the least and I quit years ago. But if it's something that a teen is already being allowed to do (for better or for worse) or something that an adult is doing despite his parents' wishes, then that daily routine will almost certainly begin first thing in the morning. If they're not quitting, it's probably a lost cause to try to move the timing.

amother

Tue, Mar 30 2021, 3:26 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

They do claim that they wanna quit once they in shiddichem .( How I don't know ) as I know my boys I don't think they will stay smoking . Just evnow. ow it bothers me . Nothing to do , I feel I just need to accept that for n ow.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Mar 30 2021, 4:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think I understand. If it helps you now or someday, below is another post of mine from an older thread on things they could do now to help make it easier to quit in the future. Hatzlacha.

Quote:

Assuming that switching yeshivas is not an option, then I have some advice for if your son is smoking already. Speak openly with him and work together to focus on harm reduction. The less he smokes, the easier it will be to cut back and quit someday when he is in more conducive surroundings.

This is assuming he admits that smoking is unhealthy and he would like to quit someday,
even if he doesn't feel capable now.

Here are some steps that helped me smoke fewer cigarettes per day during the last year or two of my smoking years, as I toyed with the idea of quitting but hesitated to commit to it.

1. Record the number of cigarettes smoked each day and keep a running record. A spreadsheet is best, if that is available, as it will allow him to easily review the data later. Smokers can be very delusional about how much they actually smoke, and this in turn leads them to be in denial about how addicted they are and how much damage they're doing. If he records his cigarettes every day, he will almost smoke less than if he didn't keep track. Also, if he is the type who cares about money, this will allow him to see how much he's wasting.

2. Impose some realistic incremental restrictions that he can keep, even if he is not up to quitting. Only smoke outdoors. Never chain smoke. Never smoke after 11pm. These are just examples, but restrictions like these reduce the quantity over time.

3. Change cigarette brands to one whose flavor he does not like. This won't keep an addict from smoking, but it does reduce the pleasure.

4. Look for replacement habits that are reasonably healthy, or at least not too unhealthy. Gum or breath mints for the oral sensation. Coffee or tea for the desire to take a break. Whatever works. Even if these things only replace 3 of the 20 cigarettes smoked in a day, that's an improvement.