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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:25 pm
how do I get him to stop? His hand gets full of slobber and it's germs. I put black pepper on and he rubbed his eyes, which made his eyes burn. Help.
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hodeez
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:26 pm
How do you know it's for attention? Also why would you ever put pepper on your kid? So what if he sucks for attention? Kids are germs, that's life.
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simcha2
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:27 pm
hodeez wrote: | How do you know it's for attention? |
This.
And if it is, ignore it (I'd ignore either way at that age). If he doesn't receive attention for it, and he's doing it for attention, he'll stop.
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imasinger
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:30 pm
If he's doing it to get attention, then don't feed the beast.
Say, "oh, did you want me to ____? I can't see you when fingers are in your mouth.". Then, turn away, until the hand is gone, and give him an enthusiastic, "NOW I can see you! Of course, I'd be happy to...." (Or if what he wants isn't feasible, suggest an alternative).
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amother
OP
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:30 pm
I know it's for attention because he only does it for attention
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hodeez
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:34 pm
So don't give him attention for it ..I still don't understand how pepper comes into the picture for a 3 year old with a normal habit.
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amother
Amber
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 5:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I know it's for attention because he only does it for attention |
How do you know? It's age appropriate behavior. He might be copying what he's seeing in school. Just ignore it, this isn't something to make a big deal about & certain not something to put pepper on his finger, omg.
If you're so sure he's doing it for attention, the smartest thing to do is to totally ignore it.
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amother
Black
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 6:17 pm
Mouthing behaviors is strep in our house. It looks like it’s for attention because it sometimes comes along with other regressive behaviors but it’s really just strep messing with them and goes away with antibiotics.
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amother
Pearl
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 6:27 pm
Your 3 year old is doing exactly what a 3 year old should be doing: looking for attention.
please don't put pepper or anything on your 3 year old's finger, it's really abusive and it will just create trust issues. If you care about having a good relationship with your child when he/she is older, this is where it starts.
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amother
Azure
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 6:28 pm
hodeez wrote: | So don't give him attention for it ..I still don't understand how pepper comes into the picture for a 3 year old with a normal habit. |
I guess she wanted him to be motivated by having delicious fingers instead?
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amother
Pearl
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 6:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I know it's for attention because he only does it for attention |
I hate to be the one to say this to you, but it sounds like you've not been loved as a child. Please get yourself to a therapist who will adore you and lavish you with tender loving attention.
Your child is a perfectly healthy attention-seeking child. And it is perfectly age appropriate to suck a finger even beyond age 3. If you have a personal aversion to it, or personal negative association to it, please go discuss it with someone instead of projecting it onto your innocent child whom I believe you truly do love very much deep down.
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silverlining3
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 6:53 pm
I don't really have advice, other than just ignore for now, but I feel putting black pepper is exactly what he asked for.
He takes his thumb cuz he knows you'll probably put pepper, rub eyes to get it to burn, so he can have you take care of him..... Makes sense?
I have thumb suckers myself, I know it's not appealing. But germs is a vitamin I say. We can't control everything. Once they got older I was able to tell them, from time to time, to try to keep it for the bed only
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amother
Silver
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 7:51 pm
You can use the bad tasting nail polish. It's better than black pepper. Honestly I'm petrified of pepper because although I have memories of soap in my mouth (I'm sure I got pepper too but don't remember) I saw my siblings get black pepper and my children by my mother and their mouths would be swollen and hurt for days afterwards. It's horrible and BH not done anymore but I realized pepper is actually dangerohs.
Can you tell him if he takes his finger he needs to go into bed?
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amother
Cerulean
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 7:58 pm
The attention issue seems to be bothering you more than the grossness factor. But if it just the grossness of it I would just address that.
I would say something like this - "I noticed you like putting your hands in your mouth. That's ok but there are lots of tiny tiny germs from your mouth that we can't see that end up on your hands. We dont want those tiny germs to get on everything you touch. Here is a package of wipes for you to clean your hands with with after you are finished. Let's put it over here and whenever you need one you can come get it". Then anytime I noticed him doing it I would help him get a wipe. But honestly I wouldn't actually do this because I don't care about germs like that.
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:33 pm
Op, my then 3y old would play on the playground and then eat his hands. This was when Corona first broke out and ppl were dying here in NY. Before they even closed the playground, I stopped taking him there.
1. It's age appropriate
2. It can be sensory seeking
3. If he wants attention then give it to him! And kids don't want attention, they want connection. It's so sad that he's being punished for innocently asking for love in his immature 3, year old way.
4. Black pepper is abusive. Whether you think it is or not, it's abusive in this instance
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