Such a big dilemma-due date and shabbos simcha

Just One

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's by far not my first one. My first one I had 2 days early the rest all a min of 5 days overdue. But ya know Murphy's law?! Being open means nothing. Baby number 4 or 5 I walked around open 5 for a week and then it's still took 17 hrs once I went into labor.

It's not so clear but it seems like you have hours long labors. If so I don't see the issue with going for shabbos. In the case you go into labor on shabbos you have plenty of time to drive back to NYC

amother

Papaya

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you were overdue by most of your children and had long labors, it's your choice. You can take the risk. (But prepare yourself for emergency situations: know where the nearest hospital is, know where all the hospitals are along the way, know the local hatzala's number, etc.)

amother

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:40 pm

I'm almost davening I should have before shabbos. Otherwise I'll be a total mental mess.

amother

Seashell

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:40 pm

I had something similar. and anon because cousins might recognize me!

My grandmother made a Hachnoses sefer torah in montreal. Everyone was going. She wanted all the great grandchildren there. Guess what it was 11 days before my due date. My babies came early late and on time. of course I wasnt going, but DH not either. DGM couldnt understand, why not? Hello! I was having her great granchild #6 with no family nearby! Baby was born a week later.

I had such FOMO. I looked at the pictures and saw everyone there. My kids were too young to go themselves.

BUT my next was born 11 days early!

We miss out on a lot having these babies. B'H. Simchas is just one part of it!

yksraya

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:43 pm

Bshua tova, maybe you will already have the baby by then.

Skipping a simcha can be hard, but remember there will iyh be more simchas. Bh you will skip one simcha for your own simcha iyh.

imaima

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:47 pm

I would decide closer to the date, whether I am close to giving birth.

OTOH If you deliver the baby during that shabbes you will still miss out on the event.

amother

Tue, May 04 2021, 1:50 pm

imaima wrote:

I would decide closer to the date, whether I am close to giving birth.

OTOH If you deliver the baby during that shabbes you will still miss out on the event.

I don't have much time because I need to give in my reservation within the next week if I go. If I have my baby before I don't care to miss it.

Raisin

Tue, May 04 2021, 4:03 pm

Have they thought you might be making a bris that shabbos?

If she has 12 kids then I guess there will be plenty more simchos to attend.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, May 04 2021, 4:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't have much time because I need to give in my reservation within the next week if I go. If I have my baby before I don't care to miss it.

Bshaa tova.

Can you make a reservation that can be cancelled? Call the hotel and ask about it, if you'd be willing to go with a newborn.

If you're still pregnant, CYLOR about what to do if you go into labor on Shabbat. My guess is that you'd have to the nearest competent hospital, and I'm certain that's not Brooklyn. I wouldn't take the chances, and I sure wouldn't want to drive 2+ hours in labor.

Elfrida

Tue, May 04 2021, 4:36 pm

In thirteen years time, you might be the one making the simcha, and one of your little nieces will be the one with the dilemma!

The cycle goes on. We do the best we can.

amother

Linen

Tue, May 04 2021, 4:43 pm

A sibling got married on my due date in a different country.
Missed the wedding.
It was uosettimg, but we got over it!
Smile

(And yeah baby was super overdue...)

amother

Ivory

Tue, May 04 2021, 4:47 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Provided that you have a way to get back instantly as soon as you want even in the middle of shabbos I’d go. Oh and line your underwear with heavy duty pads in case your water breaks in the middle of the meal or something.
Babies don’t generally pop out from one second to the next and as long as your contractions are still far apart you have an hour or two to get to the hospital.

lol mine do;) ive had 20 minute labors with almost zero advance warning!!

tichellady

Tue, May 04 2021, 5:40 pm

I definitely feel for you and I also can’t imagine wanting to go anywhere when I’m 9 months pregnant. Guess we all feel different!

amother

Tangerine

Tue, May 04 2021, 5:46 pm

When I was pregnant with my second, I had a similar dilemma. I ended up risking it and going to the Simcha, and everything was fine. The thing is, had the baby the next day (after we were home) and it happened insanely fast. Like, even being very close to the hospital, I had the baby in the hospital lobby. It freaked me out that a day earlier, and we would have been at that simcha and that baby would have been born in the car. I haven't had similar dilemmas since (subsequent due dates never coincided with simchas) but I have not forgotten and I am certain that should I find myself with this question, the answer will absolutely be to stay home.

Rhl mom

Tue, May 04 2021, 11:29 pm

I missed my brothers wedding because I was overdue in a different country. It was very upsetting for me but Bh I got over it. I sent a picture of myself and dh for them to put on the table at the aufruf so I can “be there”. I also got dressed extra fancy for that shabbos to feel part of it. We went out to eat on the night of the wedding, and when I was Skyping the wedding I put my Sheitel in an “updo”.

Can you do something extra for yourself while you are missing the simcha?