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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
Ballota
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 Sun, Jun 20 2021, 1:56 am
Hell no
Not even one bit
I pray every day for my boys to grow up to be kind loving helpful supportive empathetic human beings.
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Teomima
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 2:01 am
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No. Nor would I want my daughters to marry a man like him. Which isn't to say he hasn't got some wonderful aspects that I would be happy to pass down. But there's too much about him that's broken and I want better for my kids.
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Mermaidinexile
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 3:34 am
This is an excellent question. In fact, moms with daughters in shidduchim take note: it's this exact question you and your daughters should be asking, not silly questions about arbitrary "red flags".
The answer for me is : absolutely 💯. I literally said to him last night " I'd be so so proud if our boys grow up to be like you"
I waited many years to meet my husband. The only things on my list were someone generous and kind with a great sense of humor (and obviously chemistry).
He is the polar opposite of my narcissistic, abusive, miserly father (who, incidentally, was considered a "great catch" in his day).
Last edited by Mermaidinexile on Sun, Jun 20 2021, 6:51 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Valerian
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 3:36 am
| FranticFrummie wrote: | This question should be set up as a poll.
Another good question would be, "Do you want your daughters to marry someone like your husband?" |
Definitely yes.
My fear is mainly that they will marry someone NOT like my husband, and that it won't be good for them.
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amother
Green
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 3:49 am
| essie14 wrote: | | Yes!!!! That's why I married him! I sincerely hope our sons grow up to be like him and that my DD marries someone like him. |
My dear, that's why I married mine too and so did everyone else.
However, people change and my dh changed and left yiddishkeit and I have learnt that I can't control things.
NO, I DONTWANT MY BOYS TO GROW UP LIKE HIM, but I can't stop it when it happens 😢
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moonstone
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 4:44 am
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Yes, absolutely. I'm happy to see they're well on their way to being like their father.
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amother
Steel
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 5:23 am
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no my DH has too many issues even though he is caring and fun loving there are too many other character traits that are disturbing on too many levels.
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amother
Navy
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 5:27 am
All of his good qualities with none of his weaknesses 
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amother
Orange
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 7:17 am
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Yes. Never thought of it before, but that was exactly what I was davening for for my kids.
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gootlfriends
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 7:48 am
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Minus the adhd, yes. Someone who puts Torah first, respects his parents and has a lot of patience. I think if we are honest, unless you have an awesome husband, which most people don't, you don't want someone exactly like him for your girls. I don't want my son to marry someone like me either. As my husband says, we hope our son/daughters will be the better version of us.
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Shuly
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 10:42 am
Yes
They have such different personalities and talents that they won't ever be just like him, but I truly hope they have his yiras shamayim.
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amother
Sage
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 10:52 am
| Jewishmom8 wrote: | what is so interesting is that my big girls always rolled their eyes at my husbands dumb dad jokes.
now they they are older and talk about what kind of guy they want to marry they say a funny one that makes jokes like Abba! |
That's cute!
Growing up, I was the kid my dad could count on to appreciate his dumb jokes. Today, I'm the one who tells the dad jokes! My husband tries sometimes, but frankly...his aren't even good enough to count for bad puns. 
Usually the man is the funny one. But every couple has to break gender stereotypes in their own way. I'm glad my husband appreciates my jokes.
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amother
Lily
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:01 pm
| amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote: | Oh God, No!
I hope they'll accept responsibilities of adulthood, and wont operate as life is a black and white journey. And mostly, I hope they'll understand that other opinions are equally as valid as their own. |
Could've written this word for word. I'm divorced now.
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pinkpeonies
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 2:17 pm
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Yes yes yes yes yes!!! if my boys were half the man my husband is in terms of midos, helpfullness, kindness, responsibility, hashkafa... I would be over the moon!!
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