Stop pointing out the dirt in my pool

amother

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 3:30 pm

Yeah, you. The one who is a guest in my beautiful outdoor heated pool. Yes, leaves will fly in, maybe even a bug. Be thankful you have a free day to chill out and keep your criticism to yourself. And no, you will not be invited back.

happy chick

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 3:49 pm

Ugh! Ungrateful spoiled brats! I'm sorry you have to deal with such people. After being nice and inviting them over for the day.

amother

Wandflower

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:01 pm

This belongs in the no-good-deed-goes-unpunished forum op.
I agree. Don't invite her back. But please don't stop doing good things for other people.

nechamashifra

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Your guest sounds quite rude....not sure why she's pointing out the leaves in your pool. That being said you seem to think that having a guest over = doing them a favour. Guests don't need to be any more thankful for coming over than hosts should be thankful for having them.

It's the coming together for each other's company that's the whole point. Not "I own a house (or a pool) and therefore you being here on my property is a charity that I have bestowed upon you".

amother

Sage

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:41 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

Really??

amother

Sage

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:47 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

Yes, really! Unless you're inviting homeless refugees.

So if I have a pool and my cousin invites herself to come swimming, and I, deciding to be be nice & gracious, agree to her coming, I am supposed to be as equally grateful as she is?

amother

Green

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:50 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

As I understood it, in OP's case the point was not company - OP herself was not spending the whole day in her pool. The point was that the friend could come to swim in OP's private pool, free of charge. Yes, that is a favor.

amother

Eggplant

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:51 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

No. I strongly disagree. It would in fact be MY property and it would in fact be a charity(of sorts) to host people. And it would be exceedingly ungrateful for the guest to have even a minor kvetch about the favor I did for them. If the leaves and dirt bothers them, they can clean it out and enjoy the pool or leave and never come back.

amother

Crystal

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:51 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

Yes, really! Unless you're inviting homeless refugees.

Who says this person was invited? Many people invite themselves.

nechamashifra

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:54 pm

amother [ Sage ] wrote:

So if I have a pool and my cousin invites herself to come swimming, and I, deciding to be be nice & gracious, agree to her coming, I am supposed to be as equally grateful as she is?

The op said "you will not be invited back" which implies she invited this person over.
But also, yes you should be grateful to have friends and cousins who want to come over. Unless you think they don't care for your company in general and just use you for your pool, which is a whole different chapter in a separate book.

amother

Viola

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 4:58 pm

Yes, a beautiful pool and home will lose its allure if you have nobody to share it with.
I'd rather be without those things than be lonely because nobody is interested in spending time with me and people turn down my invitations.
If you have experienced times in your life of isolation and extreme loneliness, you will get what nechamashifra is saying.
Being a guest can be just as much a favor as hosting guests.

amother

Grape

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 5:05 pm

How about the family member who never bothers to call you. Except on the hottest days of the summer to kvetch that it’s so hot and they would love to go swimming. Should I be greatful that she remembered that she has a family member with a pool. Cuz any other time, she doesn’t remember that I exist.
Sorry,, but yea, coming to the pool is a privilege. I have enough guest who come when I want them to come and appreciate being invited. I hate friends or family who only remember me when they need me.
Those don’t get to come to my pool.

amother

Peru

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 5:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Its in the middle of the three weeks right before Tisha B'av, we are still missing people from a collapsed building, covid is still ongoing, the world has seen lots of suffering and you are complaining about someone making a comment about your pool? Be grateful that you have a nice house with a pool, friends and families that are alive and well and dont take it personally that someone commented about your pool. May Moshiach come in zchus of you accepting a little critique about your pool without getting offended or ending a relationship over it. #firstworldproblems

Raisin

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 6:05 pm

I don't have a pool but a guest commenting on any aspect of my house or housekeeping skills would be so rude. I host a lot and only remember this happening once or twice.

Sorry. Unless you are renting out a pool in which case, I guess it would be appropriate to share.

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, Jul 04 2021, 6:06 pm

amother [ Peru ] wrote:

Wow. Judgemental.

She has a right to complain about this. If you feel triggered, get off the thread she started and try to entertain yourself with other more important things.