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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Sep 12 2021, 9:55 am
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Ah gut yahr to you all. Please help me understand. Why don’t people send back the response cards to a simcha? Where’s the mentchlichkeit? Making a simcha after yomtov sent out over 450 invitations a few weeks ago and didn’t even get 30 cards back.
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Sun, Sep 12 2021, 10:02 am
That’s why I never bothered sending out response cards.
Ppl don’t plan so far ahead. They say yes and something comes up and they can’t come. They say no- and then a day before realize they can come. You say simcha is after yom tov? Oooh ppl are harried with yt plans, they put aside the invite for now.
Not saying it’s right or nice, it just is.
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amother
Viola
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Sun, Sep 12 2021, 10:10 am
So I always send back the card, but just before the deadline.
TBH, it is always a debate and I feel guilty.
DH hates going and I love to go. He always says we can go if you really want to and I feel awful, like I am for torturing him, but don’t want to miss/feel it is not nice to the Baal Simcha. I also sometimes go alone but sometimes don’t want to, especially if it is a weekend in a hotel.(yes, he still doesn’t want to go). So I procrastinate. I feel guilty saying yes and I don’t want to say no.
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amother
Aster
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Sun, Sep 12 2021, 10:37 am
It's 2021. Next time, save the money on stationery and ask for email responses.
Two weeks before the simcha, email anyone who hasn't responded.
I find that communities have different expectations about response cards/rsvp'ing. It can be a culture shock when dealing with people whose norms are different from your own.
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