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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
OP
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Thu, Dec 16 2021, 1:33 pm
We live in a small OOT community and I'm wondering what the etiquette is for giving the Rav an annual gift. If you live OOT, do you do this and if yes, how much do you give?
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amother
Seafoam
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Thu, Dec 16 2021, 1:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | We live in a small OOT community and I'm wondering what the etiquette is for giving the Rav an annual gift. If you live OOT, do you do this and if yes, how much do you give? |
Possibly for purim along with shaloch manos or as a thank you...
I don't but sounds really thoughtful of you
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amother
Hawthorn
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Thu, Dec 16 2021, 2:58 pm
I live in Lakewood and try to give a nice check for Purim. We also give extra when possible for things like 'selling the chometz'. Our Rav is super dedicated and we like to show him hakaras hatov when there is an opportunity.
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amother
Milk
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Thu, Dec 16 2021, 4:14 pm
It’s not a local Rav, but we try to send at least $180 to the Rav we call. We usually send it around the time of mechiras chometz even if we sell it with someone else.
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amother
Wine
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Thu, Dec 16 2021, 4:17 pm
amother [ Milk ] wrote: | It’s not a local Rav, but we try to send at least $180 to the Rav we call. We usually send it around the time of mechiras chometz even if we sell it with someone else. |
Just know that many Rabbis would think the money is for the tzedaka fund
Make sure to tell the Rav it’s for him to use
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amother
Burlywood
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Thu, Dec 16 2021, 4:46 pm
Interesting - I never heard of such a thing.
Shul membership here runs $400 to $800 depending on your stage of life. The shul also has multiple fundraisers that we contribute to. The rabbi is salaried like any other profession.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Dec 17 2021, 10:28 am
Oh, we pay a fortune for shul fees. $1,200 for membership plus many sponsorships throughout the year. That's why we haven't given the Rav a yearly gift until now. But I'm wondering if we're being rude.
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amother
Burlywood
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Fri, Dec 17 2021, 10:33 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Oh, we pay a fortune for shul fees. $1,200 for membership plus many sponsorships throughout the year. That's why we haven't given the Rav a yearly gift until now. But I'm wondering if we're being rude. |
I really don't think it is standard. He is salaried and all the benefits you get, are part of your membership with the shul. That's what I always thought. Maybe if you have certain issues that you're dealing with and use his services way more than the average member, then it might be nice to acknowledge his extra time with a gift. Is that your situation?
If not, I would ask around your shul to see what other people do - I'm curious to hear what people say - but I really don't think this is standard.
We do usually give a large mishloach manos request expensive wine and nicer food items...
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