What can a boy do date 7-8 to move things along..

balibusta

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:33 am

What can a boy do to move things along.. he is happy and ready to wrap things up the girl is taking it ver slow.. any suggestions for him to do to get her more comfortable more ready..? Thk u wud love some good advice!

climbing613

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:38 am

I'm assuming they've done activities together already? Discussed hashkafa? More personal hashkafa? A questions game? Can look at family photos? Has he asked her if there's something she wants to know?

Window

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:39 am

“What are you thinking? What are you up to? Do you think you want to get engaged soon? Need a few more dates?”

rach1357

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:40 am

Play the dating game. It will force deeper discussion to help move things along

DrMom

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:48 am

balibusta wrote:

What do you mean by "taking it slow?" Does he sense she does not want to continue to go out with him anymore? Or she is just undecided about whether to continue? Does he know her reasons for wanting to take it slowly and can he address those reasons?

5mom

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:48 am

The biggest decision of your life isn't something to be "wrapped up." Let her take the time she needs.

disneyland

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 12:59 am

Some girls need more time. Try to say a Perek of tehillim for them.

LovesHashem

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 1:35 am

Girls need more time. If he tries to rush it it could backfire. The more pressure I had the more it was harder for me to decide, move forward, and feel comfortable.

twizzlers1

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 1:42 am

Realized I couldn't go anonymous after I wrote quite a lengthy post. 7 to 8 dates is not a long time at all. They are going to spend the rest of their lives together if it works out. Unfortunately I know too many people that felt rushed to get engaged and I know a number of people that are divorced after being married for just a couple of months. It is a huge decision that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I just don't understand the pressure.

Plonis

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 1:49 am

It's very common for boys to be ready before girls.

Just keep varying the setting so the girl can feel more comfortable with him, and make sure the talking is a good mix of shmoozing and DMCs.

But there is no need to "move anything along."

Living Princess

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 3:35 am

He should let her know that she shouldn't feel pressured and she should take her time. When my daughter was dating our SIL he was ready way before and he just kept reassuring her that she should take her time. Let him just go places that she enjoys going to. At this stage he can ask her what type of places she would like to go to - restaurants, museums, parks, arcade...

teachkids

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 3:38 am

We found a list of questions on aish.com designed to build a relationship between 2 people and went through then while on a long walk

singleagain

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 7:13 am

For goodnesses sake. The end goal of dating isn't a wedding. It's a marriage. And a marriage hopefully lasts a lifetime. I don't care what "system" your from not everyone fits into neat little boxes. Some people need more time.

If she likes him enough to still go out with him he should keep doing what he's doing not change it up suddenly.

imasinger

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 7:18 am

Why are people jumping on OP?

With 2 people, it's rare that they both feel ready at the same time. Someone is usually first. In this case, it's the boy.

The Aish questions seem like a good idea. By date #7 or 8, moving along might mean looking to understand each other at a deeper level. Maybe DS can think into what areas of life, thought, or personal experience might need more exploration. You could potentially help him by asking what he knows about her, and giving him ideas of what else to ask, discuss, or do.

tiredmommy

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:17 am

Can someone please post the link to the aish questions? Thanks!

teachkids

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 8:45 am

tiredmommy wrote:

Can someone please post the link to the aish questions? Thanks!

https://www.aish.com/d/w/36-Qu.....e=yes

judyjew

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 9:43 am

He should call her the day before each date, schmooze a little and decide together where to go, or he can offer options. It's like having another mini date without the pressure of getting dressed and going out. Adds familiarity.

watergirl

Mon, Feb 21 2022, 2:17 pm

balibusta wrote:

You said your son is happy... how is she feeling? Did anyone ask her?