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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

would you wait for your child to:

give up the pacifier alone?

18%

[ 4 ]

take it away when you feel time has come

81%

[ 18 ]

Total Votes : 22

itsme

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 7:59 am

OK- My dd is 3 years old k"h. Before pesach she was so happy to throw her pacifier into the fire, which of course she did.Right afterwards she started asking for her pesachdig pacifier, I didn't give it to her until she really started to ask for it. the first day chol hamoed when my neice came over to my house I told my dd u know gitty doesnt have a pacifier anymore. my dd went over to the garbage can and threw it away. now every night since shes asking for it. I keep on telling her diffirent excusesl ike I gotta go and buy, the store doesnt have or your big already and dont need one. am I right or do I need to feel guilty si nce she was a child that went around with a pacifier almost a whole day.thats how she calms herself do I need to wait till she gives it up alone???

montrealmommy

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 8:07 am

At 3 I think she can understand what you are saying and may be 'playing' with you. Her willingness to throw it away (twice) indicates she's not as attached as she may have once been. I would recommend, don't feel guilty and most importantly stay consistant - if you have decided no more, then under no circumstances do you go out and get her a new one!

Hatzlacha Rabba

mama-star

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 9:04 am

this is what happened to my dd and her pacifier, except she was 4. she gave it up for pesach and we were firm about no more pacifiers.

of course, now she's 8 and she's sucked her thumb ever since. Sad

itsme

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 9:06 am

mama-star wrote:

of course, now she's 8 and she's sucked her thumb ever since. Sad

she told me that shell suck her finger Rolling Eyes

Tehilla

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 9:08 am

I was a thumb-sucker until around 9. a doctor told me if I didn't stop my front teeth would be buckteeth and I would be ugly. whether or not that's the right way...I was horrified and stopped...

mama-star

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 9:12 am

my daughter knows she's headed for braces. she wants them.

Tehilla

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 9:14 am

mama, I think there are homeopathic remedies dealing with that. if you want to, it may help and won't hurt.

greenfire

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 11:54 am

well - I say you should not have given her the pesach pacifier cause you can't go back & forth ... but since it's all in the past ... I think they do what they want anyway ... and as you say after you try to encourage - they can always pop the finger in ... I offered prizes to throw it out - some with success and the others not - I had 2 suckers that thumbs went in after paci went out & 2 that were able to quit ...

I guess no real answer ...

Imaonwheels

Sat, Apr 26 2008, 3:05 pm

I was taught that sucking in normal cases is a need until around a year. After that it becomes habit. Every child was told that for their BD they no longer needed a bottle or paci. It worked 6 times with very different children. I never had a kid ask for it more than a day or two. The trick was to catch it before it came a habit.

Oh, and they never sucked their thumb either. I had one who asked for one when she went to gan because some Israelis won't take it away until the chasuna... I let her taste her brother's paci. She stuck it in her mouth, looked at me and put it back in his mouth herself.

I know childraising fads change but that really worked for me. We never gave them blankies or other cuddlies either.

BeershevaBubby

Sat, Apr 26 2008, 3:22 pm

I have one daughter who had a pacifier and another who sucked her fingers.

When my oldest was about 2, we started weaning her from the pacifier - only in bed. And then after about a month, they went 'bye-bye' and we stopped her cold turkey. It was a rough few nights, but she got over it.

The finger-sucker sucked her fingers until she was about 6 years old.

My almost 1 year old son has had a pacifier since he was about 6 weeks old. It helps him soothe himself to sleep, but often when I look in on him, he's asleep and the pacifiers are on the floor.

You need to be strong and consistent and not give in if you really want to get rid of the pacifiers.

mimivan

Sat, Apr 26 2008, 9:43 pm

As my mashpia says, she's never seen a kallah or a chosson go the chuppa with a Pacifier!

(although mamastar's point about the teeth was well-taken, she was 9..older than your child).

mamacita

Sun, Apr 27 2008, 4:28 am

I think you should be consistent with your reason and not give a different excuse every time she asks. Otherwise you aren't helping her give it up. If she thinks your are going to go buy, find, or whatever she is old enough to wait till the next day and ask again. If she knows it isn't coming you may have to keep repeating yourself until it sinks in, but it's not building false hope that it'll return.

I would be careful about lying though, I clearly remember the day I found a pacifier in my brother's dresser after my parents weaned me off of them and told me they were lost, all gone, whatever. I was shocked and hurt. I was 2-4yrs old at the time.

freidasima

Sun, Apr 27 2008, 7:43 am

What can I tell you, I sucked my thumb until I was around 10 and took my blanket with me on my honeymoon. No kidding!

Now for the truth...I really did suck my thumb until I was almost 10, no big deal, gave it up at some point on my own. As for a blanket, As I have cold feet it turned into a foot warmer around age 7 or 8 and I used it or its "siblings" for years and years, I hate sleeping in socks. Dh asked if we can have his and hers footwarmers...it was a family joke...

Never took thumbs or pacifiers away, figured that at some point as one person wrote, a kallah and chossen don't go to the chuppa with pacifiers, thumbs in their mouth or in diapers...then I found out that dh's brother sucked his thumb until he was 16...never bothered me, one child never sucked, another used a bottle until age 3, a third pacifiers till age 2, and as for the others, their siblings would already pull their pacifiers, thumbs, blankets away for themselves so we would have battle royale...had a cupboard for a while with about 30 pacifiers in it....take your favorite color/flavor and just leave me alone..I even have a picture of youngest dd sharing a pacifier with her metapelet's dog...the dog would take one side in his mouth and dd would take the other side and they would lie on the floor sucking together...

Love that picture. Will give it to her husband when they get married.

Ima2

Tue, Apr 29 2008, 9:15 pm

I don't have the heart to take away my dd's paci. She's almost 3 (her b-day is in July). But one day one of ther pacis broke-they're the same ones since she was 6 months old. I tried to give her new ones but she wouldn't take them! Anyways, I told her that when this one breaks, then no more paci. She repeats that to me when I talk about it with her, but I don't think she really understands that there won't be a paci anymore--soon hopefully!

itsme

Tue, Apr 29 2008, 9:28 pm

hi op here! b"h its a week since I took dd paci away . she stoped asking for it!

ganizzy

Tue, Apr 29 2008, 10:48 pm

s/o I know cut off the end a bit and then the child says theyre broken, and thats how she stops them

chaylizi

Wed, Apr 30 2008, 12:53 am

my first stopped her pacifier at age 3. we gathered all her "tzumi's" in a box & gift wrapped it to give as a "present" to a younger cousin. in return she got a prize. we gave my sil the box & she threw it away after we left. it worked really well.

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