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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 8:05 am
I have a 7 month old that is causing me a lot of physical pain. I know it sounds dramatic but I am literally saying ouch as my most often used word of the day. I have scratches on my face, neck, arms, chest and belly (these last two from nursing). Every time I hold him he’s constantly scratching, poking, punching or pinching me. He just doesn’t stop. It started while nursing where he would pinch my chest or scratch my stomach but now every time I’m holding him he makes little fists and punches my face and neck, scratches my arms and pinches any available skin. On Shabbos I was caught unawares and he punches me in the nose and it started to bleed and I literally cried that I can’t do this mothering anymore. It’s getting to a point where I’m like getting angry which sounds ridiculous because it’s a baby but he is not stopping and I don’t feel like I could or should put up with it. How do o make it stop. Yes his nails get cut regularly and putting socks on his hands was a disaster as he went berserk and just banged his head into everything while crying hysterically
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amother
Starflower
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 8:16 am
I just take my babies hands and start clapping with them or playing other hand games while singing rhymes that usually distracts them. For nursing get a sensory toy you can put in his hand to keep it busy. Sounds like a bad habit you need to break by keeping his hands busy with other things.
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amother
Eggshell
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 8:16 am
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amother
Yolk
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 8:27 am
Oy, I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. It's hard enough being a mom without feeling physical pain inflicted by a little person you love so much. I had a similar experience and can assure you that he has grown into a very decent loving young man. However, when I think back to the pain of nursing and other ways he inadvertently hurt me, I cringe. He used to forcefully pull off me without breaking the seal of nursing, which was excruciating. He would also scratch and pinch. Later, he bit me while nursing. I think the suggestion to hold his hands or try to occupy them is a good one. Maybe you can also limit the exposed skin with a shirt or cover up. I used to gently rub his back or head since he was probably looking for stimulation and contact. Later, you can start saying "no" and holding his hands until he gets old enough to actually understand. I also agree that you might need to put him down for a few minutes to take care of yourself. However, it's important to remind yourself that he really has no idea that you are being hurt. Hopefully, this too, shall pass.
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amother
Clear
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 8:42 am
Behavior mod
Good advice to keep hands busy (and nails filed)
If he does something physical put him down calmly- be consistent st least more than not
Then pick him up and warmly hug him etc when he’s not hurting
Rinse and repeat
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amother
Clear
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 8:44 am
ask your pediatrician for ideas. The goal is to get him to stop- he doesn’t know what he’s doing obviously. Saying “no” in a firm voice and moving his hands looking away etc all this can work. Hopefully fast!
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:11 am
amother [ Yolk ] wrote: | Oy, I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. It's hard enough being a mom without feeling physical pain inflicted by a little person you love so much. I had a similar experience and can assure you that he has grown into a very decent loving young man. However, when I think back to the pain of nursing and other ways he inadvertently hurt me, I cringe. He used to forcefully pull off me without breaking the seal of nursing, which was excruciating. He would also scratch and pinch. Later, he bit me while nursing. I think the suggestion to hold his hands or try to occupy them is a good one. Maybe you can also limit the exposed skin with a shirt or cover up. I used to gently rub his back or head since he was probably looking for stimulation and contact. Later, you can start saying "no" and holding his hands until he gets old enough to actually understand. I also agree that you might need to put him down for a few minutes to take care of yourself. However, it's important to remind yourself that he really has no idea that you are being hurt. Hopefully, this too, shall pass. | are you me? He does all of thus. I tried telling him no it doesn’t work! And I give him massages All the time
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:12 am
amother [ Clear ] wrote: | ask your pediatrician for ideas. The goal is to get him to stop- he doesn’t know what he’s doing obviously. Saying “no” in a firm voice and moving his hands looking away etc all this can work. Hopefully fast! | pediatrician had no advice and tried all of this
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:19 am
amother [ Starflower ] wrote: | I just take my babies hands and start clapping with them or playing other hand games while singing rhymes that usually distracts them. For nursing get a sensory toy you can put in his hand to keep it busy. Sounds like a bad habit you need to break by keeping his hands busy with other things. | I have lots of little toys. He will play with it fir five seconds and then drop it and claw me instead.
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amother
Cognac
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:20 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | are you me? He does all of thus. I tried telling him no it doesn’t work! And I give him massages All the time |
A baby that age doesn’t understand no you have to redirect. OP are you coping ok otherwise?
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amother
Yolk
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:22 am
That was me 20 years ago but I still remember feeling so distressed and offer you support with my full heart! I didn't do this because my son refused a bottle, but just a thought. What would happen if you pumped and gave him a bottle? That would occupy his hands and your body would be more covered up. My son weaned at 15 months, but you might want to consider doing it earlier once his diet is mostly covered by more solid foods. My son was physically large, which gave him lots of strength (BH). Also, is your DH able to feed him occasionally to give you a break?
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Window
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:38 am
Cutting nails isn’t enough. File them down all the way. So that there’s nothing left
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Chana Miriam S
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:46 am
amother [ Clear ] wrote: | ask your pediatrician for ideas. The goal is to get him to stop- he doesn’t know what he’s doing obviously. Saying “no” in a firm voice and moving his hands looking away etc all this can work. Hopefully fast! |
I agree about putting the child down when this happens, immediately. In a firm Normal voice, say ‘no’ and put Him down. On the floor if possible.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:50 am
amother [ Cognac ] wrote: | A baby that age doesn’t understand no you have to redirect. OP are you coping ok otherwise? | life is hectic with a baby and working and not enough sleep but Bh I think I’m relatively ok lol. Certainly a lot better than when he was a newborn
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:50 am
Window wrote: | Cutting nails isn’t enough. File them down all the way. So that there’s nothing left | done that.doesn’t stop him from poking and gouging
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amother
Clear
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:51 am
If nothing works then I’d hire help find help get Dh to be with him when possible- put some physical space between you while he outgrows this phase- keep trying but pass him off to other hands when “constantly hurting” if it is truly the crisis you describe then yes great it with emergency measures.
Hugs and hatzlocha
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:52 am
amother [ Yolk ] wrote: | That was me 20 years ago but I still remember feeling so distressed and offer you support with my full heart! I didn't do this because my son refused a bottle, but just a thought. What would happen if you pumped and gave him a bottle? That would occupy his hands and your body would be more covered up. My son weaned at 15 months, but you might want to consider doing it earlier once his diet is mostly covered by more solid foods. My son was physically large, which gave him lots of strength (BH). Also, is your DH able to feed him occasionally to give you a break? | hi self. My baby doesn’t take bottles either so exclusively nursing at this point
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amother
Clear
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:53 am
What else can you do aside from wearing protective gear…
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:54 am
amother [ Clear ] wrote: | If nothing works then I’d hire help find help get Dh to be with him when possible- put some physical space between you while he outgrows this phase- keep trying but pass him off to other hands when “constantly hurting” if it is truly the crisis you describe then yes great it with emergency measures.
Hugs and hatzlocha |
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 12 2022, 9:55 am
amother [ Clear ] wrote: | What else can you do aside from wearing protective gear… | hoping some imas here have other ideas. Wearing a ski mask in my climate would be rather tough
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