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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts
When someone didn't pay their share



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 1:20 pm
I paid upfront for group gift. One family member told me they would contribute and haven't. I reminded them once and now it's been a few months. I'm not the most assertive person but it still bothers me a bit. It's about 100 dollars.

Is it too late to ask for the money?
Do I have a halachick obligation to remind them about the "debt"?
Or do I just try forgive and move on with no mention of it?
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 1:27 pm
Did they forget? I totally get why you don't want to remind them.

We try to have 1 person pay for the gift and 2nd person collect.
It is much easier to call or text and say your share is X, Zelle the money to Sarah.
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 1:30 pm
I would remind them. Just say hey I was just looking back and I don't see that you ever sent me the $100 for the gift. Do you mind sending it now?

$10 I'd let go, but not $100.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:51 pm
Of course remind them. In general I'm very responsible about these things but I remember that once we did a family gift and I forgot to pay. She called to remind me and for whatever reason I couldn't do it that minute and I forgot again. I was so relieved when she texted me again a month later because I had every intention of doing so. Or course I felt bad but I would have felt worse if I never did pay.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 3:34 pm
We have a system in our family with group gifts where the person who lays out the money is not in charge of making sure it gets collected. Maybe something to think about in the future, as it gets uncomfortable for the person who laid it out.
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LK1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 3:41 pm
I sometimes forget even though I write it down (will only see it a few weeks later and pay then) and really appreciate when people remind.
You could ask them in a question way - looking through and don't see that you paid is that a mistake?
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amother
Phlox


 

Post Tue, Jun 14 2022, 3:42 pm
Unless you are aware of them going through a financial crisis, I'd ask again.
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