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Forum
-> Vacation and Traveling
amother
OP
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 2:05 am
For the wives/mommies that go for the summer without their DH, how do you manage? Are you really ok without DH? Do you say ''It's either the city heat or this''? Is there ever a time you feel like you really don't like the setup but there is no other choice? I am not from New York, have Never gone to a Bungalow Colony so I can't imagine how the women manage? Really interested in hearing your experiences.
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amother
Smokey
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 8:30 am
To play devils advocate
Not my life
But I’ve see. A lot of women on here say (some proudly, some not) that their husbands don’t do much at home. They don’t do much with hands on parenting (‘getting ready in morning, bedtime, baths, playing, homework) and they don’t do much housework. Some womens marriages in 2022 could easily be mistaken for the one my grandma A”H had in the 50’s.
In those marriages, if wife is doing it all anyway, maybe it’s better to do it in the country
(I didn’t grow up with this country culture so I can’t relate to any of it. I’m just speculating)
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amother
Orange
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 8:41 am
I go to a bungalow colony. At home I am a SAHM and DH works full time+++ so yeah he's not usually helping with the kids anyway. At least now I get to chill at the pool all afternoon while my kids are in camp that I didn't have to carpool them to.
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amother
Seafoam
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 8:44 am
I hate that part but I love the country life and swimming pool. We live in a tiny city apt all year round without a patch of grass in site.
No, DH does not cheat, contrary to the stereotype.he stays up with me as long as he can, depending on the week.
Some weeks he only leaves Tuesday morning and is back Thursday afternoon.
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amother
NeonOrange
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 9:53 am
I live OOT where until very recently there was no daycamp. I used to travel to the tri-state area with my kids every summer so they could go to camp. Dh would usually come in once or twice for Shabbos over the 6 weeks I was gone. It was CRAZY hard.
BUT, I felt it was something I had to do. My kids needed that special summer time that they couldn't get at home. We were willing to sacrifice for them.
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amother
Seashell
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 9:59 am
I am not understanding your question.
For most women, life in a bungalow colony is way more relaxed - the kids are having a blast and are out all day. There isn't the frantic need to get them out the door for the bus or car pool; meals are simpler and often communal outdoor type of things. Clothing is simpler.
Many women actually like to get away from the hot city and that life because it is a break from all the craziness of the regular life.
I think many women are emotionally fine with not physically seeing their husband for a few days every week. For most women it is that their husbands stay in the city for a few days and it is not like they are separated for the whole summer or even for several weeks.
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amother
Leaf
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 10:11 am
My husband used to travel for week every week before the pandemic. He was gone for 2 -4 nights a week usually. I got used to it and we made it work.
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amother
Powderblue
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 10:11 am
When in the country I never see the kids at the end of a day they need baths and a bed bedtime is a breeze, I have company and since no one cares I barely need to cook much. It’s a vacation. The men come and go not all are gone a whole week some come in Every second night some stay some weeks if there job allows.
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amother
Phlox
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 10:16 am
I did it but me husband was a rebbe so he was around.
The lifestyle doesn't necessarily lend itself to your typical marital dynamics. Bungalows are small and not a place to hang out in so people tend to spend the time outdoors. In no time there are chunks of women schmoozing together. Supper is food thrown at kids running around dressed in cheap clothes... Woman are helpful towards eachother, there is a sense of camaraderie.
I don't think it works for everyone but it definitely could work for many as half the challenges faced during the school year are non existent in this setting.
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 10:31 am
amother [ Seashell ] wrote: | I am not understanding your question.
For most women, life in a bungalow colony is way more relaxed - the kids are having a blast and are out all day. There isn't the frantic need to get them out the door for the bus or car pool; meals are simpler and often communal outdoor type of things. Clothing is simpler.
Many women actually like to get away from the hot city and that life because it is a break from all the craziness of the regular life.
I think many women are emotionally fine with not physically seeing their husband for a few days every week. For most women it is that their husbands stay in the city for a few days and it is not like they are separated for the whole summer or even for several weeks. |
As a side note many people do have buses to catch since the older boys go off grounds to daycamp. But they're usually out till 6 or so
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amother
Amber
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 2:42 pm
I, personally, grew up like that. My father left early Monday morning and came back late Thursday night. But again, they didn’t have much of a marriage.
I can’t see myself doing it.
I think it’s easier today with the traveling and working remotely.
It’s an opportunity for sick men to cheat. Normal men don’t cheat no matter what.
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amother
Amber
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 2:44 pm
I also want to know how people afford it.
And when I was a child there was no competition. We had a 2 bedroom bungalow that we didn’t enter only to sleep. The oven didn’t work. We almost didn’t need cleaning help. Everyone laid low, didn’t go shopping or go out to eat. Now there’s nanny’s and tons of peer pressure.
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amother
Gladiolus
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 3:44 pm
I don’t love the setup of being there without my husband but we still do it cause the benefits are worth it. Many men leave Monday morn and are back Thursday night so they’re only gone for 3 nights. Some go Sunday and come up Tuesday etc. What makes it easier is the fact that you’re all on similar schedule so you end up hanging out with your friends in the evenings. It’s a whole different set up than city life. The ladies have a great time together. It’s easier simpler suppers, and a lot of outdoors. My kids absolutely love it. It’s harder for my husband, being himself after work and he hates all this driving back and forth. The long relaxing weekends are nice though.
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amother
Mintgreen
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 4:13 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote: | I, personally, grew up like that. My father left early Monday morning and came back late Thursday night. But again, they didn’t have much of a marriage.
I can’t see myself doing it.
I think it’s easier today with the traveling and working remotely.
It’s an opportunity for sick men to cheat. Normal men don’t cheat no matter what. |
Normal men don’t cheat? Boy do you have a lot to learn
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amother
Gardenia
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 4:22 pm
amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote: | Normal men don’t cheat? Boy do you have a lot to learn | Normal men don’t have relations with other women because their wives are upstate. Just because you know many who do doesn’t make that normal. I’m not saying no one does. But why assume that’s the norm?
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amother
Amber
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 4:25 pm
amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote: | Normal men don’t cheat? Boy do you have a lot to learn |
What I’m saying is that cheaters don’t wait for their wives to go upstate. They make it work regardless.
And yes. Normal men don’t cheat.
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amother
Mayflower
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Fri, Jun 24 2022, 4:30 pm
Define normal. At some point you realize everyone has a little crazy to them. Hopefully it is very very few that cheat but I have no doubt that some do and their wives would never guess.
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