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Forum
-> Working Women
DrMom
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:35 pm
amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | Really, you are very lucky!
I think most people are far more comfortable going at home. Almost any other bathroom is for #1 or emergency use only.
Are you saying you are EQUALLY comfortable using your own private bathroom as the bathroom in the airport? To you they are both just bathrooms? |
I am generally more comfortable doing anything in my home than in an airport (except checking in for a flight).
But what you are describing (refusing to use the bathroom anywhere except at home)... well, honestly, it sounds like a hang-up that every toddler eventually overcomes at some stage of his toilet training.
I'm surprised that so many grown women suffer from this anxiety.
Did something specific happen to make you feel this way?
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amother
Yellow
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:44 pm
It’s not healthy and chazal said you need to go right away. Idk how people hold it. Dh has bag that he takes to the bathroom with all his necessities in the bathroom since he is very particular about bathrooms.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:46 pm
DrMom wrote: | What?
I go to the bathroom when I feel I need to go to the bathroom.
I never heard of scheduling bowel movements (I am not even sure I could do that with very much predictability if I tried). |
I think most people are on a schedule. My kids scheduled their bodies so they shouldn't have to go in school.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:47 pm
amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | Really, you are very lucky!
I think most people are far more comfortable going at home. Almost any other bathroom is for #1 or emergency use only.
Are you saying you are EQUALLY comfortable using your own private bathroom as the bathroom in the airport? To you they are both just bathrooms? |
I'm comfortable using any clean bathroom.
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amother
Steel
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 5:51 pm
I'll do what I need to do when I need to do, but I'm most comfortable getting it done in the morning before I leave. if for some reason I get mixed up, a bowl of bran flakes and milk before bed helps put me back on schedule. if I'm having privacy feelings at work, sometimes I go to a different floor that's quieter and the relative anonymity helps
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amother
Seablue
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:08 pm
Getting up early enough to have my coffee and let it do its thing usually works for me. In any case I'm lucky enough to work in a place that is a: quite noisy and b: with bathrooms that are far away enough from where most people are to be able to in peace. Only issue is that there are two cubicles side by side so if someone else is there at the same time......you get the picture
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amother
Clematis
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:12 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | I think most people are on a schedule. My kids scheduled their bodies so they shouldn't have to go in school. |
Never heard of this. By me it might be multiple times a day, or not for two or three days. What I eat has an impact, as do different stages of the menstrual cycle.
At work I'll go as and when necessary. No one is paying attention.
The only place I tried to avoid it was one office where the bathroom was kept locked and the key was in the bosses office. You had to ask permission to take the key, and he would notice if you went too often or took too long. I don't need someone else observing my bodily functions. There were a,lot of problems, and I only stayed there a few months, anyway.
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zaq
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:20 pm
Shy-bladder syndrome and shy-bowel syndrome are bona-fide conditions with psychological causes. They are a form of social anxiety disorder or phobia and can eventually affect your life in a way similar to agoraphobia, If you suffer from either or both of these conditions, there are therapies that can help.
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amother
Peru
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 6:22 pm
You women who don’t understand this thread are lucky.
It’s more common than you think and you’re dismissing something many people suffer from.
OP, I used to wake up very early so I can go before work. (I don’t work anymore bh)
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amother
Aquamarine
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 7:13 pm
I don’t poop at work. I very rarely poop anywhere except my own home. It’s happened, but very rarely. For me, I usually go in the morning, before I shower. Then later in the evening.
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amother
Burgundy
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 7:25 pm
I have a bm at work, shortly after sitting down at my desk in the morning. I find I don't always have bm on the weekends and days I'm home and for sure it's not at the same time every morning. I think it's because while work can be stressful there's a relaxation and a distraction that comes with getting out of the house and away from the hustle bustle of home life.
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amother
Pistachio
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 7:34 pm
amother [ Peru ] wrote: | You women who don’t understand this thread are lucky.
It’s more common than you think and you’re dismissing something many people suffer from.
OP, I used to wake up very early so I can go before work. (I don’t work anymore bh) |
Exactly. If you don't have this issue, then I don't think you can understand OP. I'm in similar shoes. I only have bowel movements when my body is relaxed & in the morning hours. If I don't take the time to eat my breakfast, and sit for a good many minutes after, my system remains sluggish and I struggle for the entire day. It is in the morning when your bowels are most active, and that combined with a sit down relaxed meal is what works for my system.
I also work, but in hybrid setup between remote and on-site. So working remotely allows me the flexibility to make it work, and the other days I get up a bit earlier (or occasionally go late).
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amother
Maple
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 7:48 pm
amother [ Seablue ] wrote: | Getting up early enough to have my coffee and let it do its thing usually works for me. In any case I'm lucky enough to work in a place that is a: quite noisy and b: with bathrooms that are far away enough from where most people are to be able to in peace. Only issue is that there are two cubicles side by side so if someone else is there at the same time......you get the picture |
Use the flush to cover up the noise
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amother
Tulip
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:11 pm
I'm with you op. I was going to post also about what to do, because even when I get up an hour and a half before I need to leave, it's not enough time some days even if I drink coffee, and sometimes I get the urge on my commute but of course nowhere to go. I don't want to wake up 2 hours earlier. Other than coffee what else can I do? And how do you go without straining and other people hearing you? I'm not constipated I'm usually loose but still have to push and strain to go.
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amother
Candycane
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:24 pm
I'm exactly like you OP. I need to go before I leave to work (my kids even know it's part of my routine, before I put on my sheitel). If I miss it I'm a wreck and I'll wait til I come home 8 hours later.
Interestingly, on days I don't work ex Sunday, I totally don't go that early in Day.
There is terrible soundproofing at work and I can totally hear everything when someone uses the toilet. I just can't do that myself.
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kenz
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:32 pm
DrMom wrote: | I am generally more comfortable doing anything in my home than in an airport (except checking in for a flight).
But what you are describing (refusing to use the bathroom anywhere except at home)... well, honestly, it sounds like a hang-up that every toddler eventually overcomes at some stage of his toilet training.
I'm surprised that so many grown women suffer from this anxiety.
Did something specific happen to make you feel this way? |
I’m with DrMom on this, but you guys are actually making me understand DH better. He’s always coming in needing the bathroom and it’s obvious he’s uncomfortable, etc. TMI but I guess it’s not so weird that he waits till he gets home even if it’s causing him discomfort. I never understood before. Of the I prefer to be home but I honestly never viewed it as a choice.
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amother
Pewter
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 9:54 pm
amother [ Tulip ] wrote: | I'm with you op. I was going to post also about what to do, because even when I get up an hour and a half before I need to leave, it's not enough time some days even if I drink coffee, and sometimes I get the urge on my commute but of course nowhere to go. I don't want to wake up 2 hours earlier. Other than coffee what else can I do? And how do you go without straining and other people hearing you? I'm not constipated I'm usually loose but still have to push and strain to go. |
Please don't strain. There is a very good chance you will do irreversible damage to your pelvic organs.
Get one of these for at home
https://www.squattypotty.com/p.....ginal
and one of these for on the go (keep it at work)
https://www.squattypotty.com/p.....84%A2
You will have to take a large bag into the bathroom with you, but who cares? your pelvic organs will thank you. These squatties have been a game changer for myself and a number of my family members.
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Ema of 5
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:12 pm
amother [ Lemonlime ] wrote: | Better question, if you work (and it is not a clean environment) how do you do a hefsek Tahara (in the winter)? |
Why can’t you quickly do it in the bathroom at work?
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amother
Pewter
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:13 pm
Ema of 4 wrote: | Why can’t you quickly do it in the bathroom at work? |
Because it is difficult to wash before hand.
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amother
Honeysuckle
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Tue, Jul 26 2022, 11:14 pm
amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | I guess you're lucky. Are you comfortable going in other people's houses? In airports or restaurants? In shul? I'm certainly not.
When you gotta go, I guess you just go. But many times if a person isn't relaxed they don't feel the need to go. Not a good thing as it leads to constipation. |
I prefer not to, but if I have to I have to. The alternative is not pleasant, I don’t like being “backed up.”
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