Would you pick her up from camp?

amother

Nasturtium

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 10:58 am

As a former camp hater, (I hated camp..cried and cried..went with no friends etc) I would NOT pick her up.
20plus years ago in camp, as miserable as I was, it didn’t dawn on me to be picked up. I called my mom , cried to her, and moved on. Btw, as an adult, I later found out my mom was terribly worried and called the head staff. But she did not share her anxiety with me at the time and I am grateful for that.

Please don’t pick her up unless there is a true emergency.

Please do be supportive over the phone, send your love and warmth over the phone. Let her feel you are with her over the phone.

It’s hard as a parent to see your child in pain. You can do this. Hugs.

amother

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 11:32 am

Wow seriously appreciate all the replies. I spoke to someone at length that said this would be a great life experience for her to learn to get through.
Im torn. Ive been trying to reach out to staff for several days, finally got someone on the phone for 3 seconds who said shes running activities and will need to call me back.
I know ive always been there for her and perhaps too much so this is a struggle.
Shes a girl that has many close friends and is used to being surrounded by them all the time, theyre her oxygen so this is a big change for her but maybe not a terrible thing.. I dont know!
I dont want to give her the coming home option just yet cuz she may jump on that idea and im not sure its the right thing to do. Yes shes begging to be picked up. On the other hand she said leaving would make her feel like a loser.
I also know her well enough to assume im hearing the worst of it, in other words I know shes making some frineds (maybe not best, close ones) but shes not telling me much about it instead im hearing only about her misery.
I hear during calls how she has girls passing that will shout her a comment or will say come with me to lunch ect or she will hang up to join a girl passing by.
We have an extremely open relationship and I really believe theres nothing else going on.
Gotta go thats her calling again...

amother

Yolk

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 12:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have kids who would call me every day from camp and complain my ears off. Then I'd pass the phone to my husband or other children and suddenly he's happy and loving it.
Sometimes they complain just because we're the mother. Which is not a bad thing but everything has to be looked at in context.

Another time I did bring my son home from visiting day and I feel it was a mistake. He could have stayed and learned how to have a positive attitude in a different environment. I did it then because I wanted him to know that we hear him and take him seriously but that didn't last too long.

I'm smarter now. I remind them that it takes some time to get used to new things but in the end it is worth it.

amother

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 12:23 pm

Gosh that wasnt easy she was crying again. Luckily she couldnt see the tears flowing on the other end.
Maybe I should not have done this but I offered her to give it a real shot and if shes still miserable we can come get her. Her response was really you let me come home? I really want it to work out, maybe ill be happy in the end.
I said I really believe youll end up enjoying it and want you to give it your best shot.
Shes meeting with the director after lunch.
Thanks all, its interesting to hear both sides and the many approaches mothers have taken. It gives me hope. Never sent a child away before so its not easy on me.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 12:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Bolded is the exact reason you should not go get her! Though I do think your offer was a good thing - because it made her realize that she really DOES want to stay
I hope it works out for her!
Good Luck

amother

Brunette

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 12:52 pm

tweety1 wrote:

I think I'd pick her up. My daughter always tells me that the 2nd halfers always have a very hard time. Even girls that went to the same camp the previous years sometimes don't make it. The girls have their friends, they have their jokes, and a girl who comes 2nd half very often feels like a 5th wheel.

oy, this is such an interesting perspective.
can someone please remind me in a couple years when my daughter will be the age to go...kidding, not kidding.

op, I think it's important that she knows she has the REAL option of coming home. that alone can help her in pushing thru. if she's still asking and crying 2 weeks or so in then I'd make it a possibility. camp is so tough. im crying reading your posts and I feel for your daughter. she should make the ultimate decision, not us (or even you)

amother

Begonia

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 2:27 pm

ETA I just saw your post about how she wants to stay. I hope she has a worthwhile experience.

Has she asked to be picked up?

When I was 13, my parents brought me home from camp after a week (it felt like six months). I had been away from home before so I wasn't homesick; I just needed to leave. There were no crimes being committed against me, but it was not a good fit. When I asked to come home, my parents remembered their own miserable camp experiences and did not hesitate. I remain grateful.

amother

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 4:18 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Thanks youre so sweet, ultimately we want whats best for our child but not always do we know what that is.
Shes really trying, I thought she would become the popular girl she always was but shes coming across as quieter because shes not finding her place. Its really important to go with your group of friends.
Well see what happens, if this continues I will go get her. I will leave the decision to her.
Thanks all!

amother

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 4:19 pm

amother [ Begonia ] wrote:

Yes every phone call starts with ma can you come get me now..

amother

Lightpink

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 4:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

[quote]

She'll be fine!! She doesn't always have to be miss popular

amother

Cherry

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 4:44 pm

I was miserable in camp and begged my parents to pick me up. They told me they can’t (wasn’t convenient for them) until visiting day which is when I left. I don’t ever regret leaving. But I also don’t think it was the worst thing that I stayed a few extra days until visiting day. Maybe that’s because I knew I was going home.
I think you did the right thing to offer picking her up and I would continue encouraging her to stay and validate but also explain that it might be hard that she isn’t as popular but that she’ll be ok and she should try to learn from this experience.

amother

Honeydew

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 4:50 pm

Pick her up! I was once that miserable camper one year in a new camp, and thankfully my parents agreed to pick me up on visiting day, I’m forever grateful that the believed me and took me seriously. I went on to have many more years of happy camp life in different camp, but that year in that camp just wasn’t for me.
Trust your child, validate her!! Camp is not easy for everyone.

amother

Pistachio

Tue, Aug 09 2022, 4:59 pm

My dd went to camp more than a dozen years ago. Kids were never allowed to call home. I'm sure many were miserable in the beginning but they had to stick it out. They weren't forced to go to begin with and I doubt your daughter was either. I think the problem is that she can constantly call you. Part of camp is learning to be independent. She is not ch"v being abused. If this were school and she said she was miserable, would you pick her up? I think parents are too soft on their kids now-a-days.