How do I know if my baby is enjoying herself?

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:02 pm

How do I know if my daughter likes her morah? She doesnt talk yet so she cant tell me.
Im very worried especially since this morah doesnt send pics during the day. She has a flip phone and they send out at the end of the week. My babys last babysitter had an iphone so I would text her during the day "hey hows rochel?"
She is my first.

This morah seems very experienced and organized. But my daughter has never been in a group of 10 before. her babysitter had 5 other kids.

Im so sad to drop her off in the morning. I want to pick her up a few hours early the first week, is this normal? How can I reassure her im not abandoning her?

amother

Mulberry

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:08 pm

If she's used to going out and you coming to pick her up, she knows that you're not abandoning her.
If she comes home happy and clean, you know that she's probably in good hands. I'm sure you did your information. It's normal to be nervous when our children start a new place. We need to be careful that the kids shouldn't catch our anxiety and become anxious themselves.

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 1:15 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

Yes, I told her when I left me and totty will pick her up soon and we brought her a cupcake when we picked her up.
Tomorrow is the first full day 8-4, Id rather pick her up maybe around 1:30 and gradually leave her there longer hours. I just dont want to be the "odd mom out"

yes im not nervous around her I kept telling her what fun she'll have and I cant wait to see her etc

amother

Sand

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 5:43 pm

Odd mom out ?? Who cares ? Of course you should pick her up early if you’re able . It’s a slower and easier adjustment . You sound like a great mom.

amother

Mulberry

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 5:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Keeping on telling her that she'll have fun and you can't wait to see her, is you being nervous around her. When my kids start something new, I try very hard not to talk about it alot. I find that it just makes them nervous because they sense my nervousness.

amother

Mulberry

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 5:57 pm

For how long is your baby used to being out of the house? If she's used to being out those hours, then I wouldn't pick her up earlier, unless you think it will help her adjust better.

amother

Poppy

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 7:08 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

The opposite. You should take talk in detail about what they're experiencing to help them understand it.
Don't pass on your anxiety. Just talk them through it.
Also op. Nobody cares what you do. The morah will be gone in a year. Your baby is your relationship forever. You do whatever you need to do to advocate for her.

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 7:55 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

Interesting you think so, I think its the opposite to talk it out and not just dump her somewhere and not explain whats happening

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 7:56 pm

amother Poppy wrote:

thank you, this was reassuring

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 7:57 pm

amother Sand wrote:

Odd mom out ?? Who cares ? Of course you should pick her up early if you’re able . It’s a slower and easier adjustment . You sound like a great mom.

My husband doesnt think I should but I thought its an easier adjustment for her. my mother did the same when we were little, she would transition us the first week each day picking us up at a later hour until we got used to it
My baby was at a babysitter last year 9-3 but shes been home for the last month with me all day its been nice bh.

amother

Mulberry

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 8:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Interesting you think so, I think its the opposite to talk it out and not just dump her somewhere and not explain whats happening

Talk it out once. It's enough for a 17 month old because they won't get a picture of what you're describing. Repeating again and again that mom will miss you, may just cause her to be anxious.

amother

Jean

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 9:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

You should for sure transition slowly. A day that long isn’t good for her honestly. Cortisol levels rise in babies / toddlers when they are left for that long. If your able to pick her up early, go ahead and do it. You’re being a great mother!

amother

Jean

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 9:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

17 months

That’s a baby still! That’s a really long day! Do you need to send her out for that long all year? A shorter day is much better! 10 kids? That’s a lot ! How many Morah’s? Any way you can have a smaller group?

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 9:46 pm

amother Jean wrote:

You should for sure transition smoothly. A day that long isn’t good for her honestly. Cortisol levels rise in babies / toddlers when they are left for that long. If your able to pick her up early, go ahead and do it. You’re being a great mother!

thanks

I agree

do u mean left for that long with a stranger?

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 9:47 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Im still not sure if I want to send on fridays because Im not sure if im working fridays yet. If I dont work, I dont know if I should still send her for 3 hours so I can have alone time.

its 10 kids, 2 morahs.
No way to have a smaller group in my area

Spoke to DH im cutting my hours down so my baby will be out 8:30-3:30...

amother

Jean

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 9:50 pm

Don’t be embarrassed to listen to your intuition. Your baby has one mother. Most moms don’t think about it and just drop them off and hope all is well. Realistically if you saw a video of what’s going on you would probably be happy that you picked her up at a half day. It’s so hard for a morah cater to all the physical needs of so many babies. It gets stressful for a baby that is left for so long. If there is anything you can do to alleviate her stress it would be so beneficial for her. Good luck!!

amother

Mon, Sep 05 2022, 9:53 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Ive been home with her the past 3 weeks and while its been nice, its been hard being with her since she is clingy/kvetchy a lot of the time... Sad

Im looking forward to going back to work, but at the same time I want to be present for her and not only see her for 4 hours a day before she goes to bedtime...