Why didn’t the morah thank me? (2nd time)

amother

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 2:56 pm

On one of the first days of playgroup, I brought her a delicious, nicely packaged bakery pastry. She didn’t say thank you when I handed it to her but she may have been overwhelmed with dismissals etc
Now on chanuka I gave her a beautiful card with a nice expensive gift and again - no thank you was said! She got it cuz I handed it to her.
Can someone explain this to me?
Any other morah I’ve done this to would thank me the next day, tell me they enjoyed it etc

amother

Clover

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is it possible she's writing a ty card and didn't get around to it yet?
I'm a morah,I sent ty cards yesterday but one kid was absent and I forgot to put it in his backpack today. So they didn't get a ty card from me yet!
I hope they're not upset about it! Wink

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:04 pm

amother Clover wrote:

You should still say thanks when you are handed a gift.

amother

Holly

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:09 pm

I agree she should say thank you to you when you handed her a gift.\
She may be a little socially off. Or uncomfortable receiving gifts.
Either way, you did your part in expressing your appreciation to her.

gr82no

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:12 pm

Did she not say a plain thank you when you gave it to her? That’s strange.
I don’t think it means she doesn’t appreciate it probably she is distracted from what’s happening

amother

Clover

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 3:26 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

You should still say thanks when you are handed a gift.

True!
"but she may have been overwhelmed with dismissals etc"

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 5:53 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

You should still say thanks when you are handed a gift.

Drop off and dismissal is overwhelming and she may not have the headspace for a thank you.
My son's morah put a thank you note in his backpack that day.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:12 pm

flowerpower wrote:

What is with people????? Basic manners is to thank the person when getting a gift. I don’t go for excuses. There are none!

As a jew, it is our chiyuv to be dan l'kaf zchus.
It's not so outrageous for a morah to not have the headspace to say thank you while she's busy with children. If she sends home a thank you note, that's thank you enough.

amother

Peach

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:27 pm

I'm a teacher. Last year was a very overwhelming year in my personal life, no way for parents to know that.
I didn't have thank you notes in the house and by the time I got around to buy them, it was way too embarrassing and late to give.

This year I made sure to buy lots of thank you notes and have them in the house so I could knock them out right away. And I did. I gave out thank you notes today (not as good as the other morah I work with, who did yesterday).

BUT I saw a parent yesterday around town and had a quick interaction with her and even mentioned her daughter, my student, but not the gift because
A) totally forgot about it (sorry!!!)
B) even if I would have remembered, I wouldn't have remembered if she was one of the parents who gave and if so, what she gave.

I'm sorry my head is everywhere with lots of life going on BH and I can't keep track of it all.

Ooooh. I'm going to get flack for this post.

amother

Celeste

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:30 pm

I gave $100 cash to every morah and rebbi succos time and now on Chanukah with beautiful, detailed thank you notes. I got two thank you calls from rebbeim before succos and not a word from anyone now. To be honest I was absolutely taken aback. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I know they all received it, I personally handed it to many of them. We do not have extra money but it’s very important to me. I’m just confused more than anything. To be clear, there are about 4 teachers who did not thank you me the first or second time. I know it’s babyish but I don’t feel like giving them Purim time or at the end of the year like I was planning on. I’m getting burnt out from the lack of acknowledgment.

CPenzias

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:30 pm

Uh oh, I got a few gifts from students and said thank you upon receiving the gift, even hugged the moms. Is that enough or should I write a thank you card and send it home with the kids when we return from the break?

PeanutMama

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:30 pm

I received notes and gift cards from parents and I always say a profuse, genuine thank you with a smile..even if 6 little hands are pulling at me all directions lol.

CPenzias

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:37 pm

PeanutMama wrote:

I received notes and gift cards from parents and I always say a profuse, genuine thank you with a smile..even if 6 little hands are pulling at me all directions lol.

I agree. I always stop and say thank you so much. Even a little bow or a hug depending. I have one particular difficult kiddo (I send his mom a daily email regarding behavior) and she came to give us cash in an envelope. (He was having a meltdown as she showed up too lol) it was so thoughtful, I thanked her profusely. I work in a title 1 school so I know it was probably difficult to give us money too.

amother

Coral

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:48 pm

Here's a crazy dan lecaf zechus idea -
Is she in aveilus and not supposed to receive gifts? Maybe she felt uncomfortable because of that and therefore didn't say thank you

amother

Ivory

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’ve seen this from some people as well and I can’t understand it.

I think it’s a real lack of middos and not considerate at all. It makes me not want to give the, any more gifts.

I’d ask her, “I hadn’t heard from you so I was wondering if you enjoyed the gift.”

amother

Ivory

Wed, Dec 28 2022, 6:58 pm

amother Coral wrote:

Here's a crazy dan lecaf zechus idea -
Is she in aveilus and not supposed to receive gifts? Maybe she felt uncomfortable because of that and therefore didn't say thank you

Twice?