Name a question that can't have a sensitive answer.

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 3:52 pm

Even asking for a recipe can be a touchy subject.

amother

Silver

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 3:56 pm

A recipe? How?

Hm… how about how are you?

Where are you from?

What do you do (if you’re a sahm that’s fine w me and if you’re in between jobs maybe I’ll have an idea for you!)

How do you know the Baal simcha?

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 3:57 pm

What’s the weather?

cupcake123

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 3:59 pm

Good one OP.

amother

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:05 pm

amother Silver wrote:

A recipe? How?

They're the type to keep her recipes under lock and key and take it as a threat, or didn't make the thing and are sensitive about it.

amother Silver wrote:

Hm… how about how are you?

They're actually not doing so well and don't want to tell you.

amother Silver wrote:

Where are you from?

Their parents are immigrants from two different countries, they were born in a third place and moved to five different ones by the time they were adults.

amother Silver wrote:

What do you do (if you’re a sahm that’s fine w me and if you’re in between jobs maybe I’ll have an idea for you!)

Messy work situation

amother Silver wrote:

How do you know the Baal simcha?

They actually have a strained relationship, but it would look bad not to attend.

amother

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:06 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

What’s the weather?

The weather is killing their plants.

sequoia

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:07 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

What’s the weather?

It’s raining rockets.

amother

Steel

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:07 pm

Every question can be sensitive/insensitive. Depends on the context/situation/person.

amother

Sienna

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:08 pm

Love this thread because I’m terrible at making conversations. I’m always worried not to pry or offend or be insensitive.

theoneandonly

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:09 pm

amother Silver wrote:

All of these can be "triggering" or "offensive."
How are you - I just got diagnosed with a terrible disease, laid off from my job, and my dog died. How dare you pry!

Where are you from - classified as a racist microaggression nowadays. I wish I was joking.

What do you do - I was just laid off, how dare you rub salt in my wounds

How do you know the Baal Simcha - I married her good for nothing cousin who treats me terribly and I'm about to get divorced.

Basically ppl who want to get offended will get offended. Ignore them and live your life.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:10 pm

" What would you like to speak about"

cupcake123

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:12 pm

I once asked someone where they're from and they looked really hurt and said isreal quietly.
I later found out that they had moved from isreal to America for treatments for one of the kids.

amother

Silver

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:13 pm

theoneandonly wrote:

How are you: even if someone is doing poorly they likely appreciate being noticed and asked. Haven’t you heard the stories of people who were thinking of attempting suicide until they were noticed by someone?

What do you do: like I said even if you’re out of a job, if you’re looking for a new one my question may be painful but helpful because we can network.

How do you know the Baal simcha: if you’re at the simcha, you’re likely not about to get divorced or on awful terms with them….

Also, any question that is asked to you, you can fairly return. Once someone asked me something about my kids and husband. I returned the question to find out she was divorced and had one kid- but she handled it with grace and we had a friendly enjoyable conversation thereafter.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

The weather is killing their plants.

I’m dying

theoneandonly

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:13 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

" What would you like to speak about"

How dare you push the emotional labor of steering this conversation onto me.

amother

Silver

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:13 pm

cupcake123 wrote:

I once asked someone where they're from and they looked really hurt and said isreal quietly.
I later found out that they had moved from isreal to America for treatments for one of the kids.

were they hurt or sad/homesick?

amother

Caramel

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:15 pm

amother Silver wrote:

Let's see, a recipe could be their parnassa, or a secret and they don't like to share.

How are you... They could be not doing well.
Where are you from? Maybe some place onscure and they don't like talking about their background.

What do you do? Could be unemployed.

How do you know the baal simcha? You nean you don't know who I am? I am the most important person in their life!!

Almost anything can offend, don't you know?

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:15 pm

I usually look around and comment on what's going on, instead of asking questions.

DustyDiamonds

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:53 pm

What time is it?

Where do we go for the chuppah?

Do you know where the ladies room is?

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Dec 29 2022, 4:59 pm

DustyDiamonds wrote:

What time is it?

Where do we go for the chuppah?

Do you know where the ladies room is?

These are all questions you can ask a complete stranger.

If someone only asks these types of questions to friends, family or acquaintances, then it is very socially off and leaves ZERO room for a relationship.

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