High school rejection

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

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amother

Seashell

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 5:57 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

All I know is she got into Meiras. I don’t know if letter or verbal

Right, so a lot of times the schools will informally let people know that they got in in order to have the parents confirm that they are sending if they want to sort of reserve the girls that they specifically want. They will tell the parents that they will only save them a slot if they want to come and then the parents will have to confirm then.
BF did this last yr because I'm sure they knew that there were parents that were applying to them as a backup plan and they wanted to make sure that they would have a class full of the girls that they wanted, so they made the parents confirm before letters came out. And maybe more schools are jumping on to this trend.

On the flip side maybe it'll work out better because they are always girls that get into two or three schools when the letters come out and the other girls that didn't get in anywhere have to wait until those slots are emptied for them to get in and I'm sure it's very hurtful for them.

This way, girls are only taking up one slot and then they could accept more girls initially.

I hope this is what's happening!

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:07 pm

I know people who got acceptances to BK. And a relative of mine got into Meiras.

amother

Apple

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:12 pm

My neighbors daughter got an acceptance letter from shiras devorah over two weeks ago and so did her daughters friend. They both are not coming from
Bais tova, they go to a different elementary school.

amother

Plum

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:25 pm

We got two acceptance phonecalls, one last week and one this week. No letters though. Both schools pressured for immediate answer/commitment. (Not feed in school nor sibling)

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:31 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

I’m also curious if the people getting acceptances are siblings or from feeder elementary schools (I.e. people they basically have to accept).

This way they can figure out how many spots they have available for ‘outsiders’.

My neighbor that got into Meiras is not a sibling or coming from a feeder school (there is no feeder school)

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:38 pm

I heard that bais Faiga hs wanted a solid crowd so they gave acceptances and pressured parents for an answer, which other schools to give phone call acceptances so as not to lose the girls they want to the new schools. I know oros Shiras devorah bais Faiga byhs have all given acceptances,

amother

Carnation

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:40 pm

There’s something very wrong about your community that they don’t coordinate that instead of one girl getting into three and one girl none- why can’t everyone get into one?

amother

Seashell

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:43 pm

This sounds very stressful.
Hugs to all 8th grade mothers.
Did this last year Sad

But it was a lot less flying!

amother

Plum

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:45 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

As did Aderes. It's ridiculous, all trying to outrun eachother and circumvent the system. I just hope that means it'll free up more spots so that when the time for letters comes around less girls will be rejected.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 7:57 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

There’s something very wrong about your community that they don’t coordinate that instead of one girl getting into three and one girl none- why can’t everyone get into one?

I heard from some mothers that they think it’s better this way bec the girls have to give an answer right away and then if they don’t take the slot it can go right away to someone else. Hopefully once official letters go out there will be much less rejection. It is crazy that there is no organization to it though and every school is doing there own thing, it was never like this in Lakewood before

amother

Snapdragon

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 8:01 pm

amother Plum wrote:

So if I didn't hear from Aderes yet it's not a good sign??

amother

Maize

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 8:04 pm

I didn't hear from my sibling school yet. Maybe I should call. I'm getting nervous.

amother

Plum

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 8:08 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

So if I didn't hear from Aderes yet it's not a good sign??

I don't think so, I know they're still setting up interviews with girls. I don't think they at all up to finalizing. I only heard of 3 girls who they accepted so far.

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 14 2023, 9:12 am

amother Carnation wrote:

There’s something very wrong about your community that they don’t coordinate that instead of one girl getting into three and one girl none- why can’t everyone get into one?

I do think every girl should be accounted for in one spot, but I don't agree that it's a problem that some get into 3. When possible, I do believe in free choice, rather than having the higher-ups making choices for you.

Said as a mother whose daughter got into one, but her best friend got into 3. It's okay, she learned to live with it.

amother

Carnation

Tue, Feb 14 2023, 9:32 am

Chayalle wrote:

Well that’s bec your daughter got into one. How many girls didn’t ? And it makes the girls who get into 3 feel on top of the world and the girls who get into none feel like scum of the earth.
It’s a very very broken system.

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 14 2023, 10:02 am

amother Carnation wrote:

I really do feel bad for girls who don't get into high school, but as to how they feel about it, alot of that can be mitigated by parental attitude. I have seen many parents who hold their daughters thru the process (YAY SMALLBEAN), and ultimately they get into the right school that is good for them...sometimes even their first choice - without being made to feel like the scum of the earth.

There are also some who end up in this position by their own choice - by trying to game the system, trying to make it seem like the only choices that are viable for them are impossible choices, like elite schools that are full of siblings, or have very few openings. Parents who make such a chinuch choice carry the responsibility themselves to carry their daughters thru that.

I just want to also say that I have seen girls get into their dream school thru pull, hold-out, etc...or even because they had the connections and got into 3 schools....this does not guarantee them a better high school experience. My own DD, who applied to and went to a school that (at the time) was not super-difficult to get in (so yes, that's why we didn't deal with rejection) had a wonderful high school experience - better than her best friend, who ended up being a number and unnoticed in Lakewood's "top" school.

amother

Pear

Tue, Feb 14 2023, 11:42 pm

amother Maize wrote:

I didn't hear from my sibling school yet. Maybe I should call. I'm getting nervous.

Yes call the school.

Doesn't that application packet tell you to call your sibling school in advance? I have an 11th grader so it's been a few years but after my first dd I only applied to her hs. I called after the entrance exams before the application deadlines to confirm that dd would be getting in.

amother

Pear

Tue, Feb 14 2023, 11:52 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

Have you ever applied to mesivta? This is what it's like and it's absolutely horrific. You are stressing out about the timing of frahers, etc. I say this even though everything worked out for my sons. But the stress and not stop phonecards is unbearable.

And if you don't know know how to play the game you can ger very messed up.

amother

RosePink

Wed, Feb 15 2023, 12:27 am

We got an acceptance letter and registration packet (policies and busing forms etc) from oros. We are a sibling. It had to be back in by yesterday.

amother

Cornsilk

Wed, Feb 15 2023, 1:40 am

I'm literally freaking out. My daughter's elementary is known to be the last on the list. We are in for a long ride.

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