Do you limit how much you spend on vacations

watergirl

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:17 am

mikayla18 wrote:

If I'd I'd on vacation myself (hypothetically) no, I would not spend that on a bagel. I would find another option or skip breakfast. My husband on the other hand would come back to the table with 2 bagels for each of us one for each of my babies and 4 more for later "just in case we're stuck somewhere" and his wouldn't have cream cheese but tuna, lettuce, tomato-the works! We have the same amount of money but that is Baruch Hashem how both of our brains work LOL

Not that we go on vacation... but my husband taught me to skip the bagel and cream cheese order and to order a dozen bagels and get the container of cream cheese the bagel shop sells, bring it to the table, and make six bagels and cream cheese for the price of two, and have six more to bring back to the hotel or home. Smile

amother Tealblue wrote:

Years ago, a friend of my mother's said something that really resonated. She said, if you spend a fortune on tickets to the circus and have a great time, but then say no to buying cotton candy on the way out, your child will come home with a negative memory. Is it really worth ruining a wonderful day for the price of cotton candy?

This was my in-laws before I met them and right when I married their son (remarriage, so my stepkids were between the ages of 3-10). I was shocked when they took us to a place and brought all of the kids to the gift shop and very literally let each child pick one thing, and no matter the price they got it. It was "part of the experience". In general this ended because they ran out of money, or more accurately, they each retired and have so much credit card debt, they can not afford to live like they were living. But the kids were all very spoiled and these gift shop items were discarded the second the kids came home. My in-laws bought them SO MANY THINGS, they literally had zero appreciation for any of it.

My father is a stark contrast. When I was growing up, going out to dinner with a family of four meant we'd order two entrees and split it four ways, and we all drank water. We went away on vacation a few times, but my mother brought all the food from home in a cooler and there was never eating out (and we didn't even keep kosher, so there was no reason to not eat out). To this day, I can not order coke when I go out to eat, I get water.
BUT, my father (mother passed away), who had a very similar income to my in-laws has a retirement. While he can help me with a car repair, my in-laws are in financial trouble and weirdly they continue to exist on take-out rather than cook meals for themselves.

It's a very stark comparison, how I grew up vs. how my husband did. But BH we both see the issues in both and managed to come to a more balanced lifestyle. We don't have money to spare for vacations, but we do go out to eat twice a month for a date night and take the kids out or get pizza once a month... and they can order drinks.

amother

Molasses

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:55 am

amother Tealblue wrote:

It's one thing to keep your eye on expenses, but it's another thing to come home from vacation and feel like you spent the whole time saying no. How you balance that is individual - how much can you afford, how much will this bother you, etc.

Years ago, a friend of my mother's said something that really resonated. She said, if you spend a fortune on tickets to the circus and have a great time, but then say no to buying cotton candy on the way out, your child will come home with a negative memory. Is it really worth ruining a wonderful day for the price of cotton candy?

In this situation I think if the kids are aware of how their parents generally spend, and if parents have an ongoing discussion with their children about budgeting etc, then the kids wouldn't come home feeling deprived. But if they have no awareness and they see other kids queuing up for the cotton candy then I could see a certain type of child feeling their day is ruined.

While I'm not a huge spender, if we are out and e1 is hungry and thirsty then I will overpay for food. I will also splurge on an experience that is very specific to that location, my reasoning being that it isn't likely we will come back so it's our only chance.

amother

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 12:35 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

There's no right or wrong here. You play it by ear. If bagels were the cheapest thing on the menu and this were the only place you could buy food, would you not eat? Of course not. OTOH most people can't afford to spend recklessly. So maybe you'd be forced to buy those bagels, but would then compensate by cutting back on something else, maybe go on one less amusement park ride or visit one less "extra" attraction at the theme park or skip the souvenirs.

Someone else would prefer to go all out on vacation but compensate later by skipping a few dinners out, serving more modest meals at home for a few weeks, or whatever else they do when they want to save money.

What you really don't want happening is getting slapped upon your return with a whopping cc bill that you didn't anticipate and can't pay. The ideal is to plan a vacation you can afford and set aside sufficient funds before you go. That means researching how much everything costs and adding a percentage "just in case."

so. Basically we did it half and half... I took a lot of food there so we could spend less and decided we could eat something there as well when we ran out... Now I decided not to buy the bagel nor a coffee which I wanted (which was 3 50 for a small one) and went without
The next day I found another bagel store in the area which was 4 95 (vegetables included if I wanted) and coffee 2 50 small and 3 50 medium.. now that might be overpriced a bit but I had no issue spending as it's a Vacation...
Now someone might tell me if I was have satisfied myself the other day with only 2 50 more which is nothing on a vacation..but I feel there is a limit to things...
The thing also is although this is a tourist spot it's not like there isn't a Jewish community there as there is a nice one... Just wondering how people could afford to pay this price..

amother

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 12:39 pm

I will admit that rent I probably greater there so things should be slightly more expensive than here... I wanted to get a gift for my Shabbos host... Tried for a flower shop and a small bundle cheapest was 85 dollars (what here I can get for 20-25)
I went to a candy shop to get a packaged mishloach manos and the smallest package was 125.. my point is there is a limit even on vacation of how much I can shell out just like that swiping the credit card and having a good time...
(In the end I went to trader Joe's and got one plant flower and one bunch for 35 dollars together but the idea of going there didn't come to us that quickly)

amother

Chambray

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 12:44 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

My kids are all adults, no snowflakes, no entitled brats. We didn't buy every ridiculous overpriced thing in the gift shop. We just made sure that they heard yes when reasonable. And they seem to be doing the same for their own non-spoiled kids.

It's fine if that system doesn't work for you. It worked for us, and for our normal well brought up children. (Who, as far as I know, don't insult people with different theories of child rearing.)

I'm sorry tealblue. I did not mean to insult you.

I still stand by that the mindset that you ruin a special day by not getting extras to be dangerous and do not believe that science say otherwise.

And to be clear, I do buy my kids extras plenty. But I dont feel pressured to because otherwise the excitement from everything else will be dimmed. It's just an extra.

amother

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 12:46 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

and honestly I can't ever seeing myself pay more even if it was the cheapest thing on the menu especially the fact that I can just buy bread from the store and other kosher things...
The only situation I would be happy to do so is if
1 it is so upscale that the whole world rants in these bagels like it's gan Eden. And worth it
2 I was in a place which there was no kosher food around at all

3 this is the only restaurant at 2 am open and we are hungry..

Had we wanted to get a coffee with this (or another drink) it would cost 45 to 50 dollars for 4 people..

amother

Butterscotch

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 4:00 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

Here's the neuroscience behind it - humans remember the beginning and end of an event much better than the middle. Saying no at lunchtime of a long day doesn't carry into memory the same way as a no at the beginning or end of the day. If you can end on a high note, always better.

And yet, I always say no at the end. That's usually where the gift shops are that you have to go past as you leave and my kids want a million things and I'm saying no no no. Somehow I haven't ruined all their happy memories.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 7:31 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

Lol we once went somewhere and the cheapest option for dinner in the neighborhood was $15 for a falafel.

We went across the street to Walgreens and bought sabra hummus and crackers.

So to answer your question OP, yes we definitely budget on vacation.

Sometimes we'll go to a nice restaurant, but $15 for a falafel in a pita? No thanks.
(This was pre-inflation)

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 7:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

I was about to say wherever you are, look for a trader joes and get a bunch of flowers for $20