Pregnant woman not encouraged to be near dead body?

ChossidMom

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 2:35 pm

When my grandma died I was in my 9th month. I waited at the entrance to the cemetery.
When my fil died I was in my first trimester and my rav told me not to go.

I think the reason is that there are "mezikim" (harmful spirits?) that can enter the body of a pregnant woman or a woman having her period (has anyone here ever heard that one?)

mugsisme

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 5:11 pm

I think it depends on who you ask and who the mais is.

When my grandmother died, I was 10 weeks pregnant. I was not allowed to go into the cemetery. I waited by the gate. (Yeah, and no figured that one out. LOL

)

When my son died, I wanted another baby. I asked if I was allowed to go while pregnant. My rav (Rabbi Osdoba) told me that I can go. He said in the 9th month, I might not want to go if it will cause me a lot of distress. I told him it would cause me more distress NOT to go. (I used to go every eruv Shabbos.) He said then I could go. I even had permission to go while niddah.

I know one friend was expecting when her son died. She had to wait in the limo with the windows up. Another friend went to her son's levayah, and later miscarried. She blamed it on being in the cemetery.

Anyway, as always, ask your LOR, your mileage may vary from others.
Leah

octopus

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 5:46 pm

First of all- the reason that the OP gave is wrong, I believe. Sounds like a sci-fi movie to me.
The minhag of pregnant women not to go to a cemetery is because of "ruach ra". Whatever that means. I think it has kabbalistic significance. I have heard it explained that it is like mocking the dead to walk in there with new life in your body. In my family, the women do not go to the cemetery unnecessarily (especially during the childbearing years).Anyway, if the actual niftar is s/o that a pregnant woman has to sit shiva for, I am pretty sure she is allowed to go the cemetery.
Anyway- ask your LOR.

mama-star

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 10:33 pm

I don't know, I've heard the same idea as OP...maybe certain people held this way, it doesn't sound so "far out" to me. if you've ever read yiddish/shtetl stories, they're full of ideas like that.

as for

Quote:

The minhag of pregnant women not to go to a cemetery is because of "ruach ra".

wouldn't ruach ra translate to "evil spirit?" so that sort of makes sense in light of what OP said, nu?

as for notinnjmommy's comment;

Quote:

my rav says visiting a tzaddik (ie. The Rebbe) is not the same as a "regular" visit to a cemetery, so on the contrary, it's yechidus and very special and beneficial, my mashpia is very strict to still not even go to the Rebbe's ohel herself

my rav said the same thing as yours and my mashpia also holds the same as yours! she herself will not go, but advised me to ask a rav. I was told by both rav marlow a"h and his son rav y.y. marlow that I could go to the ohel while pregnant, although the latter clarified to me not to go anywhere else in the cemetary, just straight to the ohel and that's it. he explained that the kever of a tzadik is not a place to be mekabel tumah. even though I had his permission to go, I still felt weird being pregnant at the ohel, I was afraid someone would say something to me. (nobody did.)

octopus

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 10:40 pm

first of all, the "ruach ra" is referred only to a cemetary. Not at a levaya.
And to loosely translate it into an "evil spirit" is wrong. Can you tell me what that is exactly? Because I can't. I believe it has kabbalistic underpinnings. That's why I don't like to post things that have kabbalistic implications (I'm referring to a diff thread- v'hamayving yavin).

mama-star

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 10:49 pm

I don't think it's a loose translation, that's what the words "ruach ra" mean. unless you translate the word "ruach" to mean "wind," which it also means. granted, it may have a kabbalistic interpretation as well...