Meet "the girl"- need menu ideas

amother

Slategray

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 1:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks! Why am I so nervous!?

Because its a really big deal!!! This might be the girl who will be your future daughter in law, part of your family forever hopefully! When I meet the future daughter in law I am always terrified, 'what if I dont like her!'

DrMom

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 1:55 pm

Personally, if I just had basari Chinese food for lunch, I would not want a basari meal that same evening. I'd prefer something lighter: dairy (if enough time will have elapsed) or parve dishes like salads, fish, quiche, etc.

amother

Antiquewhite

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:05 pm

DrMom wrote:

Am here I am thinking that I would still be fleishichs and I am always starving 2 hours after eating Chinese food.

amother

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:10 pm

DrMom wrote:

Gotta do pareve or meat as they will still be fleish....

amother

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:11 pm

amother Slategray wrote:

I am more worried about trying to say something clever, friendly, or funny and it will come out all ridiculous.

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am more worried about trying to say something clever, friendly, or funny and it will come out all ridiculous.

Can you ask your ds for some topic ideas-subjects she is interested in, or if you know what she's currently doing-working, studying etc, to discuss? Or if that's a touchy subject, find something you can talk about. She might enjoy hearing some stories of your ds when he was younger (if your ds is okay with that.)
Have some pre-planned questions or ask your ds to support you with the conversation. She's likely to be just as nervous as well. The more you can relax (I know I'm asking the impossible), the better a time you will have.
Also some people are naturally easier to have a conversation with. I still remember when my brother brought his 1st fiance round for a meal and it was like pulling teeth-she barely talked and we struggled finding common ground. Then they broke up. A year later, when he had met his now wife and brought her round for a meal, the conversation just flowed and she's just an easygoing great person to chat to. But I know potential sister in law is totally different to potential daughter in law.

amother

Antiquewhite

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 3:16 pm

Don’t aim for clever or funny. (Nothing wrong if it comes out naturally)
Go for warm and putting her at ease.
You don’t need to shine. You need for her to feel safe and comfortable.
Nobody cares if their MIL is brilliant, super accomplished and witty.
They want an MIL who makes them feel welcome and confident.

lkwdmom2

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 3:46 pm

Just be warm and welcoming
“Come in”
“so happy you could come”
“So nice to meet you”
“Thank you for coming “
We heard such nice things about you”
Don’t ask interrogating questions just shmooze about weather, the trip, family, Jewish geography

amother

Black

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:28 pm

I still remember meeting my in-laws for the first time 30 years ago. It was a big deal and I went home and cried from the tension. They were nice to me, but just a little intense. I have one married child who met the spouse very young, so we didn't have to do anything formal. I'm sure whatever you serve will be lovely as long as she feels welcomed and you make clear that you are happy to meet her. Everyone will probably be too nervous to eat. I agree with the advice to keep the discussion light and not to grill her. Second meetings often give you opportunity for more in depth conversation. Good luck and hope it's bashert for all.
If you are concerned that they will be full from lunch with the grandparents, why not serve chicken skewers over rice or meatballs and rice so that they can take smaller portions. You could serve Israeli salad (smaller pieces) and follow with cookies or brownies and sorbet or cut up fruit (also easier to take small portions).

Boca00

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:34 pm

I remember going to eat by my future sister in law while I was dating. She made shnitzel and potatoes (mashed I think). It was perfect.
Maybe add a salad and a simple dessert like cookies or watermelon.

gr82no

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 10:16 pm

Ask ds if he knows of any food preferences of hers or food aversions. I think she will feel touched.
This thread is funny for me- everyone contradicting each other:)
First time I met my in laws was before going to the ohel so didn’t eat till I was engaged