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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Guests
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Mar 30 2023, 2:53 pm
I'm so annoyed but maybe I'm wrong. If you are staying at someone's house for pesach are you expected to join in the chol Hamoed outings? Are the outings joined? Is it obnoxious to want to do something separate to our hosts?
I mean it's a 3 day yom tov, Id love a little space.
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amother
Chambray
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:00 pm
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It depends on your hosts but I would say if they are hosting you for a 3 day yom tov you should take their feelings into account.
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amother
NeonBlue
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:13 pm
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If you are planning an outing alone you should let them know before Yom tov
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amother
Clematis
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:19 pm
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Perfectly ok for you to plan some family trips and enjoy some alone time. Maybe do 1 trip together if they would enjoy to show some appreciation.
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:20 pm
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Who are you staying with? What kind of outing do they want you to do? Are they EXPECTING you to join? There needs to be communication between you and your host, and it needs to be before pesach.
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NechaMom
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:21 pm
Many hosts would be happy to get a break as well.
Nothing should ever be expected.
Just communicate.
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amother
Ginger
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:44 pm
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It depends who the host/guest is. If it's children staying with their parents, it's normal to expect joint outings and if you don't want that, you should tell them before yom tov.
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watergirl
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:48 pm
I’m only projecting because I’ve never been hosted for a YT and I don’t have adult kids who I host. But I imagine I’d be pretty hurt and feel used if I’ve cleaned, shopped, spent a fortune, cooked, served and cleaned some more… and then left behind for the fun of a chol hamoed trip without even an offer. Offer and let the host decline. And if they accept, pay for them  .
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seeker
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 4:32 pm
This needs to be a conversation with them one way or another. "Dear host, what did you have in mind for chol hamoed? Were you wanting to do things together or separately?"
Could be they want a break from you even more than you want a break from them. Or not. Either way, collect your information first before making your decisions or forming your opnions.
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amother
Carnation
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Thu, Mar 30 2023, 4:36 pm
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Id expect to go on an outing on our own without the hosts (thats what were doing)
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