If you serve only challah, dips, and cholent for lunch

mommy3b2c

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:53 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

We dont do chulent and we dont do dips either. We do challah, chicken, some salads and sometimes a carb. Thats it. Nobody has ever said anything is lacking or anything of the sorts.
We have one main course dish. I dont think its off. Or is it the fact that that main course dish is chulent that is its off?

What’s off is barely serving any food when you have guests .

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:54 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Cholent is the default main dish.
What do your serve instead?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:55 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Not the end of the world but far from pleasant. I would prefer not to be reinvited to them.

But see, I go to people who invite us for a shabbat meal, not for the food, but for the company. And I have gone back to this family who served things I didnt really like or it was too spicy or, or, or. It doesnt make any impression on me. I go home, find something to nibble on and move on. To me the food is not the ikar here and would love to be invited back. And have been.

LovesHashem

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:58 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

OK, in my opinion, you dont tell your host you dont like what they are serving. I mean, how does that work? You get there and say "Oh, I dont eat that"? THATS very rude. My husband does not do chulent. We never make it at home. But we have been guests at homes where that is all there is and some salads. He ate the chulent.
Nobody is going to someone's house as guests for the food.

As for dips with challah, we didnt grow up with any dips. It was challah and straight to gefilte. But now my parents have a whole course of dips. When my husband and I go there, we sit quietly and have some challah and wait for the main course. Its not such a big deal to just wait.

And Ive left being a guest to go home and have to eat a meal because I didnt like what they served or there was not enough. Its not the end of the world. Really.

I don't inform the hosts at the meal, when invited out I make clear that I don't eat cholent, so don't make an portion for me in mind. I'm also implying I hope there's other food besides cholent.

I do not go as a guest for the food but I do expect to leave full, at the very least somewhat satisfied. In addition sometimes families eat out for all meals and there's literally no food at home to eat except sliced cheese and yogurt.

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:01 pm

gold2 wrote:

I also don't like some of the foods which hosts have served me but I would kvetch to my husband afterwards if I need to, I wouldn't make a PSA on here.

I have found myself leaving meals hungry and the hostess even told me that her daughter told her she is too stingy with the food but she said that she doesn't like leftovers. I agreed with the daughter but wouldn't say anything, it was nice of them to invite me it's not a paid hotel

Wondering if anyone is like me and doesn't like taking seconds because they might want to keep their leftovers?? (esp when husband says to his wife 'oh we'll have that chicken for sunday') lol

She doesn't like leftovers?! That's her argument? She's welcome to dump in her garbage can.
I would ignore the chicken for sunday remark and take seconds. Especially in that house who dreads leftovers Can't Believe It

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:02 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

If I am not full when I leave someone's home, I dont come home thinking Im now going to take chicken out of the fridge. I find something small, an apple, a piece of cake, a salad.

asmileaday

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:03 pm

I've been a guest to many houses and challah was never taken off the table till cleanup time. That's just weird.
I agree that just challah dips and chulent is skimpy. But there's no need to go to the opposite extreme.

I have guest often because it's easy for me and I don't drive myself nuts making a bunch of salads and main dishes.
Chulent is the main (huh women don't like it?! It's my favorite part of the meal). The chulent itself also has meat in it, kishke, jachnun and potato kugel. It's not just one thing.

When I have guest I'll cut up veggies, have eggsalad and a deli platter.
Everything stays on the table till the end and guest can help themselves to anything that interests them.
No need to make an insane variety unless you enjoy that.

amother

Black

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:07 pm

I don't relate to any of this.

OP you said "most people are brought up not to fill up on challa" well, if so many people you are going to make the challa the main course, obviously not "most people" are brought up that way.

I do serve only cholent for the main course even when we have guests.
Cholent with plenty of meat and chicken in it so people who want can have a full portion.
Cholent with plenty of potatoes, beans, barley and rice.

Maybe, if I didn't know the guests well I'd add shnitzel and kugel just in case they don't like cholent.

First course is challa, chopped liver, egg salad and 2 fresh salads. No dips.

I don't see what's wrong with that. I would be flabbergasted if someone told me I was starving my guests.

Honestly? this whole thread makes me feel that consumerism and foodism has gotten way out of hand.

amother

Jean

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:11 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Why shouldn't Cholent be served for women?

Lol.
Cholent seems to be one of those foods that many women like but for some reason are ashamed to admit it.

In the last few years Thursday night cholent has become quite trendy and lots of "cholentias" have popped up all over Israel, making cholent more socially acceptable even for women.

As for me, I like cholent and appreciate when it's on the menu, even though I don't always make it myself .
If I don't make it, I usually have some other hot dish instead.

Ema of 5

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:17 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

I agree with you. To me it’s very surprising how little people serve for guests . When guests come you should be serving fish and dips and salads and lots of challah on the table for the WHOLE meal. And cholent and eggs and meat and chicken and kugels and cold cuts , etc. It’s socially off to invite people and not serve food . Getting my shield to block the tomatoes 🍅

There are no things that you must serve. What you must do is provide your guests with enough options that they won’t leave your table hungry.
We have plenty of dips, but they are all parve, and come off the table before any meat goes out. I don’t want them becoming fleishig by mistake. We have challah until it gets finished, which is usually way before the main course comes out. No one in our house eats eggs, so we don’t make them. Not everyone can afford meat AND chicken, and that’s perfectly fine, you don’t need both. You don’t specifically need kugel and cold cuts either.

gold2

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:20 pm

For the hosts - have enough food that people won't be hungry and try to include a few options

For the guests - try not to arrive starving although do keep some appetite for the meal and have some backup options at home in case you didn't like the food

Ema of 5

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:31 pm

amother Lightyellow wrote:

Is the issue the quantity of cholent? Or if there would be a bounty of cholent, it still wouldn't be good? In your OP, you said that "not everyone likes cholent," which suggests that even if there was far more than enough to go around, you'd still want something other than cholent for the main course.

No matter how much of it there is, if there’s only one this it’s nothing enough.

Ema of 5

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:36 pm

lamplighter wrote:

A lot of this is about community norms. Does a person NEED dish and salads and sides and 2 main options? Of course not. We don't eat this way during the week. However if the norm is to serve a certain amount or in a certain manner, than a host should deliver a disclaimer if they are doing otherwise.
We have friends who sometimes do a dairy shabbos lunch, when they invite anyone they make sure to tell them.Same concept.

We don’t eat this way during the week because we choose what we eat. We know our options, based on what we have, and we choose what we want. If you have someone over for a meal during the week, either there are a few options, or you let them know know one advance what they will be served. For example, when you invite someone for a bbq, the assumed menu is some combination of meat, chicken, burgers, etc. and some combination of fries, salad, coleslaw, etc. there are options.
This is the main point. Let people know what you will be serving.

zaq

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:48 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:53 pm

amother Black wrote:

I’m wondering if people are not taking me literally. You just rattled off any more things than what I mentioned repeatedly in this thread. You said chopped liver, eggs, and two fresh salads. That is way more than what I am talking about here.

LovesHashem

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:56 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

If I am not full when I leave someone's home, I dont come home thinking Im now going to take chicken out of the fridge. I find something small, an apple, a piece of cake, a salad.

When all you ate was two peices of challah and some dips that's not enough for me.

I would probably need to eat all of those things to begin to feel full.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 12:59 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Lol.
Cholent seems to be one of those foods that many women like but for some reason are ashamed to admit it.

How strange. Never experienced this before.
By our shul kiddishes that sometimes have chulent, everyone lives it.
Why would anyone be ashamed to admit to liking a specific food?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 1:00 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

When all you ate was two peices of challah and some dips that's not enough for me.

I would probably need to eat all of those things to begin to feel full.

Oh goodness. This is something that may happen every blue moon if that. You are msking a mountain ouf if a molehill. Really.