Ice Cream Truck and balance

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:15 pm

amother Heather wrote:

That logic means nothin to me. Others always have more. We went x for pesach but the others went to y. I have x outfits for shabbos but others have y. We teach this from a young age. Some have more some have less. I’ve cream is the least of it. The number of ‘things’
That my kids don’t have (that some others may) is just as long as the list of what they have that others don’t

Of course. But ice cream is such an easy cheap way to let the kid feel included/with it.
Vs a segway (my kids really want one. We can afford it technically. But they are not responsible with their stuff yet. So it's a no. They know that once they have shown they can be responsible with their stuff we can buy more exoensive things for them. If not it's plain bal tashchis weather were rich poor or comfortable. Bal tashchis is an aveira.)

I teach my kids we have bh enough money for everything we need and very fortunate to be able to also buy some of what we want. But we have to choose where we spend the want money.

And I say no to some inexpensive things becuase it's just wasteful and doesn't make sense to throw money at kids. Like the ice cream truck's ice cream.

If money is tight and these few extra ice creams the kids want make a difference then you need to find a way to get the kid to feel comfortable with what they have. Like doing an ice cream party at hone from time to time or whatever you think will do it for them.

Becuase its not about the ice cream it's about the feelings behind it.
And yes some ppl have more than others and as adults we know that and can be ok with that. And it can still be extremely hard for fully grown developed adults brains. But for a kid, it can really really make a huge difference socially and emotionally and in their development.
If the kid needs therapy you can't just say. Too bad those rich poeple can afford it. We can't look at what they have. Becuase we don't and that's it. No, you try to find a clinic, you see how you can make it work....
Sometimes an extra ice cream for the kid is more worth than therapy. You try to give it to then becuase its important to them. You try to figure it out the best you can.

Maybe I'm seeing it this way becuase one of my children is having a hard time socially. Maybe. But I've been around enough to see that it's not the ice cream or the slush or the candy or segway or fancy book bag. It's the feelings behind it. At a certain age, the mother can still compensate enough to fill up the child but at some point, they need these items. It's a need for their emotional development.

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:18 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

Did you ever try a digestive enzyme to help digest the dairy? A good one can make a big difference.

I wish! Would you know of a chewable one? She can't swallow pills and the last time I checked none of the helathfood stores around here had chewable.

amother

Heather

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:21 pm

amother Orange wrote:

How can you compare ice cream to therapy?

Imo Ice cream truck ice cream isn’t essential for childrens development. If you find that it is we have to agree to disagree

amother

Steelblue

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:22 pm

amother Orange wrote:

I wish! Would you know of a chewable one? She can't swallow pills and the last time I checked none of the helathfood stores around here had chewable.

Trienza makes a chewable.

This one is kosher certified but trienza's is more specific to dairy https://www.iherb.com/pr/enzym.....D_BwE

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:27 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

Trienza makes a chewable.

This one is kosher certified but trienza's is more specific to dairy https://www.iherb.com/pr/enzym.....D_BwE

I don't see any kosher symbols on it can you help me find it please?

BusyMama1

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:28 pm

As a kid we always were allowed to get on Rosh Chodesh or the first time it came afterwards.

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:30 pm

amother Heather wrote:

How can you compare ice cream to therapy?

Imo Ice cream truck ice cream isn’t essential for childrens development. If you find that it is we have to agree to disagree

Ice cream is not the same as therapy. Of course not. My point wasn't to compare the two but rather that when something is important to your child you find a way to give it to them as best as you can.

And btw, a parent deying a child's wants without taking their feelings into consideration, will very likely lead to that child needing therapy later on.... Confused

amother

Heather

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:35 pm

amother Orange wrote:

Aren’t I fortunate than that my kid is most content with the superior ice cream
We have in our freezer?

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:36 pm

amother Orange wrote:

Oh please.

It isn't a must for kids to buy ice cream every week. Saying that otherwise they will need therapy is ridiculous.

But, seems I live in some alternate reality.

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:39 pm

amother Heather wrote:

Aren’t I fortunate than that my kid is most content with the superior ice cream
We have in our freezer?

Oh common! My kids "like" the ice cream I make better. But they want the social experience.
Op isn't concerned about the ice cream but about the social aspect of it.

amother

Orange

Sun, Apr 23 2023, 5:50 pm

amother Slateblue wrote:

Oh please.

It isn't a must for kids to buy ice cream every week. Saying that otherwise they will need therapy is ridiculous.

But, seems I live in some alternate reality.

You absolutely don't must. I don't buy it often either. More like 2x a summer.
The ice cream truck doesn't even come around here every week.
But it does where op lives. And op is concerned about the kids social part of it.

amother

Impatiens

Wed, May 17 2023, 4:36 pm

My 4 yo is crying because the ice cream truck came to our neighborhood and I said no. Speechless

She watched it from the window until it left and now she's in tears. It's so strange for me because my kids are in general the opposite of spoiled and I indulge them very little. But I made the mistake last summer of going to the truck once or twice. So I guess now she thinks it's something she's entitled to. I never have to deal with this... usually they know when I say no to luxuries, it's no and they accept it. Help

amother

Oatmeal

Wed, May 17 2023, 4:59 pm

amother Orange wrote:

We do 2x a summer.
(The prices here are ridiculous! Its around $10. A cone. The tiny ones are around $7. Add sprinkles and its another $1. Look the other way or take a second to decide and he ups the price. No kidding.
Only one company agreed to come here cuz they don't have enough to full up a minimum so he charges more. Often the ice cream isn't solid enough and is very drippy or he'll charge you a random price.... one time I was charged $27 for 3 little cones. Then my neighbor who buttered him up a bit he charged $45 for 10 items. No kidding. Its a disaster)

Also, one kid is dairy intolerant. She doesn't want to get slush. She wants to have the cone, get messy and lick the drips like everyone else. And she should have that expirence! She's 8 and at this point I let her make these decisions. So she has the dairy ice cream then suffers for the next 24 hours w bad tummy aches and I get to work extra on my middos to be compassionate, kind and gentle and not snap at her overrated tantrums. 🤔
Painkillers only help so much.
On hot summer sundays we often play ice cream parlors, I get dairy and parve ice cream, everyone gets a cone and we spread out all kinds of toppings in little cups, edible confetti, colorful spinkles chocolate sprinkles tiny mini chocolate chips, single color sprinkles colorful chocolate chips, crushed fruity pebbles..... chocolate syrups and strawberry syrups.... I try to make it look as fancy as possible.
The dollar store sells a lot of accessories that can be reused. And the kids get to make their own fancy ice cream sundea. Or cones dipped in toppings.
Sometimes I'll make pancakes and that will be lunch.
Sometimes I'll invite my sister and she'll bring the ice cream I'll supply the rest.
This year I got a large waffle maker for this purpose.
My kids absolutely love it!
For little children this is what childhood fun is all about. Don't take it away from them. Heck, I enjoy it probably as much as they do or even more. Its so fun seeing your kids lick away and giggle with their siblings experimenting different combination. I get to enjoy the taste and enjoy the nachas.

The ice cream truck rolls around here every other week or so. But my kids bh aren't desperate to have becuase I make the ice cream at home so fun they are content bh.

Carnivals are a whole nuther story. There are 2 families that are always trying to outdo each other with bigger and crazier junk food. It's disgusting. I feel mean, but I know it's really not good for them. I try to stall and only go towards the end. I give them an allowance and then we all leave together.
Other mini carnivals I let them go themselves w their allowance. But not more than. There are carnivals usually weekly or biweekly around here.

My suggestion, make it a family event. Make it fun. Make it better than the truck! You don't have to give that many options. Just 2-3 types of toppings. Cups and cones. Maybe chocolate syrup. Make some packages or waffles and use nice dishes/spoons invest in some reusable ones at the dollar store or cheap on Amazon. Make it a game night or whatever. Have fun together. He'll still want the ice cream but he won't feel deprived if he only has it 50% or less of the time vs his friends who have it 70% of the time....

Re: dairy intolerance
You mention painkillers. Do you give lactaid, specifically made for dairy intolerance?