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Forum -> Household Management -> Kosher Kitchen

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613mitzvahgirl

Sun, May 21 2023, 6:42 pm

What would you do if you kept inviting guests and they all turned you down.. would you keep going or just give up.. I invited so many ppl for Yontiff and they all turned us down.. the only ones that I can I understand was one couple who said they were going away by plane.. the others said, I have to see who else is inviting me, another said I’ll get back to you and then said sure- then they cancelled saying a relative was going to them that they barely like, another one said I just want to stay home, and her kids said they want to come, another one said sounds like a plan and never got back to us.. what to I do…I just want to do hachnosas orchim.. I know HaShem sees I’m trying to invite and do the mitzvah, but the same time it bothers me to no end.. what would you do..

amother

Azalea

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:16 pm

Sounds like a plan sounds like she thinks she's coming. Why did you expect her to get back to you? You should probably contact her if you're unsure.

613mitzvahgirl

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:25 pm

I feel funny running after ppl to invite.. I think if they’d really want to come they would’ve said sure right away.. am I overthinking it? Bc come to think of it, I don’t feel like asking anyone else.. I don’t know….

amother

Azalea

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:27 pm

I don't understand what's wrong with saying "sounds like a plan." And how exactly should she follow up? If I'm invited to someone, I expect them to let me know what time the meal will be etc. It's uncomfortable when you're the one who is invited and you have to call the host to ask. It's not called running after her to call her and give more details.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:38 pm

Years ago I decided that if I invited someone three times in a row and they said no three times in a row, I'd get the message, stop hassling them and stop inviting them, period.

If someone had the colossal nerve to say they're waiting to see who else invited them (can anyone be THAT rude?), they'd be off my invite list and on my you-know-what list.

Sounds to me like you have remarkably bad luck in friends. I think you need to hang out with a different crowd. One with manners.

zaq

Sun, May 21 2023, 7:41 pm

"Sounds like a plan" means "Yes, we'll be happy to come." Did you specify which meal and what time?

613mitzvahgirl

Sun, May 21 2023, 8:06 pm

This conversation is taking my emotional
Roller coaster 😥
I’m trying a new circle of friends 😟I’m just so and tired of all the drama.. it’s too painful, I think I’ll just have HaShem snd my family have the Seudohs by my house..I’m too tired of running around

Cheiny

Sun, May 21 2023, 8:23 pm

613mitzvahgirl wrote:

I wouldn’t keep inviting the same ones who turn you down or don’t show up. Find different people to invite, maybe singles or divorced or widowed people who would really benefit from and appreciate not being alone for a seuda.

amother

Cobalt

Sun, May 21 2023, 8:36 pm

If someone actually said that she has to wait and see who else is inviting her, she'd be off my list in a nanosecond. Are people really that rude?

I think you should try to move out of your comfort zone. Invite neighbors who aren't in your age group, or newcomers to the neighborhood.

amother

White

Sun, May 21 2023, 8:39 pm

So my rule is also if I invite you 3 times and you say no (even with an excuse), and don’t invite me, you never get an invite again. If you say We would love to but already have an invite this week, why don’t you come to us next week, then we are obviously good.

Also, if I’ve had you 2x and you haven’t invited me back, don’t expect a third invite unless there are extenuating circumstances. (If you had me before the first, then this doesn’t pertain).

I will not be a shmatta or chase guests/friends.

If you are new to the community and my age bracket/stage of life, I will gladly invite you. I am happy to invite single/divorced people.

Sometimes I feel like I have nobody to invite though as well. Currently I invited someone this AM who said they would get back to me. I will follow up lunchtime tomorrow.

FYI, sounds like a plan means they are coming. And need to see who else invited gets dropped like a hot potato.

salt

Tue, May 23 2023, 2:21 am

The one that said "sounds like a plan" - write back saying "great, look forward to seeing you after shul at 12:30. Please confirm"

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