If you inherited a very expensive thing...

amother

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 8:58 am

Asking for tachlis, not speculation, as I will be in this position.

If you inherit something very expensive (such as a rolex or cartier watch worth between $5k-10k but not more than that, I know these watches vary greatly in price), it's super old, like at least 30 years old. You are on financial assistance. You drive clunker cars. You have not been on vacation in 20 years, literally. This is the ONLY piece of luxury you will ever own, aside from owning a very modest home and have a mortgage. The rest of your jewelry is very minimal, not anything close to the kallah jewelry people get.

Would you wear it and enjoy it, since it was left to you by your parent?
Would you sell it and pay off a bill, go on a vacation, or pay a year of tuition?
Would you wear it and feel weird about it, perhaps take it off before attending a school function?

rdmom

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:01 am

If it has sentimental value, no way would I sell it. I would wear it and enjoy it. Maybe take it off for school functions. Maybe not. It’s a good lesson for being dan lkaf zchus. If it doesn’t have sentimental value, then I’m not sure what I would do. But I don’t think I would sell it.

amother

DarkCyan

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:07 am

I personally would keep it, because it has sentimental value and also it will be something of a family heirloom I can now pass down to my children as well

zaq

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:38 am

If it had sentimental value to me, as long as we were making ends meet, I'd keep it. If it had no sentimental value and I liked it, I'd keep it and use it If it had zero sentimental value to us and I didn't like it, I'd sell it.
If someone's life or freedom depended on the money and there were no other way to get it, I'd sell regardless of sentimental value.

Amarante

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:42 am

Is this something that you would legitimately enjoy using - I.e. to your taste?

Is this something that legitimately has sentimental value because sentimental value is not necessarily linked to the actual value. For example, I inherited a diamond ring from my Bubbe but it has no sentimental value to me. However she had these Meissen style tchochkes of old fashioned looking ladies and gentlemen and they remind me strongly of her. They are NOT my taste or style but I kept two and they are in my bedroom and they give me pleasure when I look at them. These figures have very little monetary value.

You won't get a life changing amount of money selling used jewelry or watches assuming these are not collectible watches of some kind but just standard Rolex or gemstones. The money will be gone and that is that. On the other hand, perhaps you can use the money for a very specific thing that would enhance the quality of your life

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:44 am

I would sell it and use the money for things I need. I have done this. I sold many valuable antique items that were sentimental for the simple reason that I needed the money I know that the person that left it for me would have wanted me to use the items to pay for Yeshiva tuition, rent, food and clothing for my family is that is more important that wearing an expensive watch.

amother

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:53 am

What about this, if it is a Cartier watch that is worth $8000, what about selling it and buying the $5000 Cartier watch that I actually prefer. Does that change the outlook?

If I am selling it anyway, is it irresponsible to use the money to buy something similar?

Eta- in my situation, it is actually two men’s Rolex watches from my father. They are 30 years old approximately. My husband wants one of them and my dream is to sell the other one and buy myself a Cartier watch that retails in the $5000 range.

But the reality is that we are not in the financial bracket that it would even look normal for me to be wearing this kind of thing.

amother

Apricot

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:55 am

Keep it for now, you can decide later on.
Every so often revisit the idea of selling it
The longer you wait the more it will be worth
I would go to an appraiser just to see how much it’s really worth. It may not be as much as you think, even if the person paid that much

LovesHashem

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:45 am

amother OP wrote:

I would do it. Allow yourself a little luxury that Hashem handed to you. If I saw you I'd assume it was inherited. I know others that have inherited expensive jewelry.

amother

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:08 am

LovesHashem wrote:

I would do it. Allow yourself a little luxury that Hashem handed to you. If I saw you I'd assume it was inherited. I know others that have inherited expensive jewelry.

Thank you, I like this mindset.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:34 am

Also maybe consider that your father would have been so happy to see that you used his watch to buy yourself a beautiful watch that you enjoy ..

amother

DarkViolet

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:50 am

Forgot about what bracket you are in.
Wear it (or it’s traded item) with pride and joy.
If I weee to see you an you had an hand and arm full of new expensive jewelry, I might be curious as to how you could buy that, BUT, one nice piece is not going to raise so many eyebrows. Go for it.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 1:41 pm

I think it's weird to be wearing a rediculously expensive watch when you are on a lower budget lifestyle. Asking for tuition discounts whilst you are wearing such an expensive watch isn't a good idea. People are human and will judge you for it. I would sell it, maybe go on a vacation or buy something useful for your house. It really makes no difference how Hashem decides to give you your money. Could be fom your job, an inheritance or whatever. How you get it should have no bearing on how you spend it.

I'll admit my opinion may be biased bc I see no value in wearing something that expensive on your wrist. But, you asked, so I answered.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 1:51 pm

I'm on the more cautious/conservative side, so I'd sell them, buy you and your husband 1 or 2k watches (something you'd feel good in), and use the rest for the important bills, vacation, or partially invest in something safe.
But you have to know yourself.

SuperWify

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 2:22 pm

I’d keep it or buy myself a new watch. It’s something timeless that can last you a lifetime. If you use it to pay your rent it won’t feel good and you’ll still need to pay rent the next month.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Jun 08 2023, 2:23 pm

I wouldn't. I would sell it if we needed the money. Not because of what people would think, but because of what I would think.

If finances were under control, then fine. But if money is tight, we're going into debt, etc., I would sell it. I am a bit confused about why people wouldn't.