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-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
Chayalle
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 Tue, Jun 27 2023, 9:10 am
I mean, if someone has a problem with BIL wiping their kid, and kid does not wipe self, then don't leave your kid in their care. Any parent can have whatever personal boundaries work for them (I have a few myself.)
Personally, I don't live with the assumption that every guy out there is a potential abuser. That's not a healthy way to live. I would send my 3-year-old to play at DH''s brother's house, or to stay overnight, and if he were in charge, he would take care of whatever her needs were. If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't leave her in his care in the first place.
And I would presume that 6 year olds and up wipe themselves already, so yeah, BIL wouldn't be helping. If I had an older kid that for whatever reason couldn't deal with their own bathroom needs, it would likely also be complicated to leave them in the care of another man....
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amother
Copper
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Tue, Jun 27 2023, 12:59 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | I mean, if someone has a problem with BIL wiping their kid, and kid does not wipe self, then don't leave your kid in their care. Any parent can have whatever personal boundaries work for them (I have a few myself.)
Personally, I don't live with the assumption that every guy out there is a potential abuser. That's not a healthy way to live. I would send my 3-year-old to play at DH''s brother's house, or to stay overnight, and if he were in charge, he would take care of whatever her needs were. If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't leave her in his care in the first place.
And I would presume that 6 year olds and up wipe themselves already, so yeah, BIL wouldn't be helping. If I had an older kid that for whatever reason couldn't deal with their own bathroom needs, it would likely also be complicated to leave them in the care of another man.... |
I was molested by my uncle so I play safe with my kids
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Ema of 5
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Tue, Jun 27 2023, 5:55 pm
| imaima wrote: | Yes I know she said „I am not upset at bil“.
But I even find this idea bizarre. There is even no room for discussion whether or not she could be upset with him. |
Why would she be upset at him for taking care of her daughter? Are you upset when a female Morah or babysitter changes your son’s diaper or wipes him? Personally, I wouldn’t do a play date if just the father was home, for this exact reason. That being said, if my daughter WAS in the care of my BIL and she needed help wiping, I’d be more upset if he DIDNT help her. What exactly was he supposed to do? Let her stay dirty?
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