Wives of long term learners

amother

NeonPurple

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 9:54 am

Chayalle wrote:

THIS.

(computer programmer here)

I think it would be unfair to say its about standard of living without considering family size.

No matter how simply one lives, if you have 8+ children to pay tuition for, it is impossible to live on one salary unless it is very very very high. If your husband does something in klei kodesh it is one thing, but if not either the job needs to pay a LOT more then the average job that is mommy friendly, or there needs to be financial assistance from somewhere

If you have a smaller family (like myself) it is more doable on less money. I am 8 years in kollel going on a many as possible and work remotely in Israel for an american office (so 4 night hours) + have a buisness making itineraries for people coming to Israel on the side.

I only have 1 kid so far (infertility) so I know that I can last on one income for longer, and I don't have tuitions here in Israel. But if I lived in the states, and had 5 - 6 kids already like many of my friends, I would probably be talking to my husband about transitioning to some kind of klei kodesh in the next 5 years.

amother

Blueberry

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:00 am

amother Mauve wrote:

10 plus years in kollel
I work for the fed government. Has good opportunity for advancement, increase in salary, flexible for Drs appointments n such. Paid mat leave!

What do you do for the government?

amother

Sunflower

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:08 am

My husband was in kollel for around 10 years. He tried for a few years to find jobs in klei Kodesh when money got really tight but struggled to make enough to live off of. I used to only be a special ed teacher so I could be on the kids schedule but it wasn’t working financially. I turned my hobby of teaching swimming lessons into a business (www.Goldsmithswim.com ) and although our finances haven’t yet improved because we have all the loans to pay back with building the pool, it has a lot more potential, and I earn more in the summer (working 14 hour days sometimes) , than I did in 10 months of teaching . My husband is no longer officially in kollel but works a little here and there, and mostly takes care of everything around the house, and learns when he has time.

mig100

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 10:28 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

Also depends when you got married. 20 years was much more feasible to live off one salary. tuition, housing, babysitting , food have all gone up a lot recently

No matter how simply you live, its a lot harder to live off one salary now than it was in the past

amother

Birch

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 12:38 pm

Kollel wife for close to 20 years.
We had help for many of these years, while I worked in special ed.
No more parental support, I'm still in special ed. but more "specialized" so my salary is decent for the education field.
My husband now has a position in a kollel, so between me and him, we're sort of getting by!
We live very simply.

amother

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 1:21 pm

Thank you for all the replies. A lot of chizzuk just seeing all the people in it for the long haul.
I left teaching to work in an office in the nursing home world but the past year have been really struggling with it and trying to figure out what the magic fix is, but your answers showed me there is no magic solution, everyone is working really hard to make it work…

amother

Mustard

Mon, Jul 17 2023, 6:13 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

Just wanted to say that many women are working just as hard but are not zoche to the blessings that a Kollel husband brings to the home
just something to keep in mind

You are so so right. Hashem knows all of our sacrifices.