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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
OP
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 7:50 am
What do boys have against showering and brushing their teeth and changing underwear?! I'm a very clean person and get disgusted when people don't shower at a minimum every other day, brush their teeth and change into fresh clothes especially on those days they don't shower.
I hate being the hygiene police
My son is 9 years old. He started this new thing and I'm going bazookas. And he knows because I give him a certain look and he just rolls his eyes and walks away. Today is MONDAY, he last showered on FRIDAY. In between he's been running around working up a sweat and nothing.
Even on Fridays he gives me grief. Best part is he makes up for it by taking very long showers
No charts or prizes will work because he is unpunishable. He will accept whatever is thrown his way as long as he doesn't havta do x y or z.
I don't know what to do with him.
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Lizzie4
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 7:53 am
Twice a week at minimum. Let him choose which days.
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amother
Coral
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 7:53 am
With my first son, we had a lot of power struggles over this. By now (I have many sons), I know it’s a stage. I don’t really give them a choice and sometimes propel them to the shower, but I accept they won’t always shower as often as I’d like or on my schedule. And they will soon become teenagers who don’t leave the shower.
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imasinger
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 7:55 am
Well, he does hafta, doesn't he?
Is there truly nothing at all that matters enough to him that you can't require a shower before he does it?
Play with friends (okay, so he gets sweaty again, at least he showered once a day), meals, anything?
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amother
Pink
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 7:59 am
I feel your pain. Including the part where he takes FOREVVVVVER once he finally gets in there. And the Fridays! "Why?!" "Because ew! Plus it's Erev Shabbat!" "So?!"
Mine is the same age, so yay for us finding out it's a normal (?) stage!
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amother
Pearl
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:03 am
And with me, the struggle is with my daughter. Sons are doing just fine in this department!
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amother
OP
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:11 am
Thanks for the replies! I feel better knowing it's a stage.
If only this stage goes away already and a new era arises where said child and comrades his age start taking hygiene seriously.
I think I'm so into hygiene because thinking back to my younger years, I was not taught well about hygiene and I'm so embarrassed about it now many years later. How in the world did I at 12 years old go for a week without showering or changing underwear?? I remember clearly it was in the summer...... I guess karma is getting back at me
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naturalmom5
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:20 am
When my son was 5 , he refused to give up his diaper
He said he has better things to do
He's 23 now and hasn't changed all that much
He still would rather play games on his phone than shower
It's only when he feels uncomfortable that he will bathe
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TranquilityAndPeace
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:45 am
At 8 years old I taught the boys that the only evening they can skip a shower is when Tisha bav falls out on Motzai Shabbos. I made it part of going to bed, along with brushing teeth etc.
I got very few push backs because it was part of the routine. There was never a thought “should I/he take a shower tonight or not?”
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Iymnok
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:51 am
I bribe my girls that if they shower at least twice during the week then erev shabbos they could shower in my bathroom.
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amother
Seafoam
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Mon, Oct 07 2019, 8:54 am
Welcome to the club of Mom of Stinky Boys. It's a whole new world.
Can you sit him down and proactively plan out a shower schedule? Maybe that will help, instead of just being reactive to his not showering. Otherwise, I have no further advice. Except maybe nose plugs for you.
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amother
Fern
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Fri, Jul 21 2023, 4:12 pm
I know this is an old thread but now I'm having a 9 year old son who doesn't want to shower - & he's running around in this summer heat!
In this summer, he needs a shower daily but no way is he agreeing to that! We have a rule for at least 3x/week, but it's he's doesn't even WANT to shower! Aarrrrgh!! Every Erev Shabbos is like a prisoner negotiation! Bribery, prizes, threats - nothing works. He takes it when ever he wants.
He loved bath time when he was little!
I think he's just acting lazy. Hopefully it's only a phase, but why couldn't he do this in the winter!
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amother
Lightblue
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Fri, Jul 21 2023, 7:37 pm
I'm no shrink and can't tell you what causes this, but I can tell you that not everyone outgrows this objection to showering and other hygienic practices. Most do, but there are always some... and some of those even manage to get married. I've no clue how.
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amother
Lilac
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Sat, Jul 22 2023, 10:25 pm
What worked is telling him that he really smells when he doesn’t shower or change his clothing and that other people can tell and will not want to go near him.
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amother
Lightblue
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Sat, Jul 22 2023, 10:34 pm
To amother lightblue: Some girls have a very poor sense of smell, that's how. It's the only thing that makes sense. That, or they're so desperate they think they can learn to hold their breath like South Seas pearl divers and it'll be OK.
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lucky14
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Sat, Jul 22 2023, 11:47 pm
amother Lightblue wrote: | To amother lightblue: Some girls have a very poor sense of smell, that's how. It's the only thing that makes sense. That, or they're so desperate they think they can learn to hold their breath like South Seas pearl divers and it'll be OK. |
Wait… you are amother lightblue….
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