Named baby last week

amother

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 9:48 pm

We named our baby last week, and right away I wished I gave an additional name, I already asked if I can add a name, and was told not to, sounds funny, but I feel sad, I want to call my baby a different name, I know this is done by English names, we gave a Hebrew name, and want to call her a different Hebrew name, make any sense??

amother

Ivory

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Said changing a baby's name is not something u take lightly, said we need R' chaim for that...
Have you done it?

I'm sorry but there's a way of weighing this without taking it lightly and without dismissing it either.
If this is too much for this Rav to handle you should find someone to discuss this with.

amother

Goldenrod

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:32 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

I'm sorry but there's a way of weighing this without taking it lightly and without dismissing it either.
If this is too much for this Rav to handle you should find someone to discuss this with.

Agree, a rav should either give a straight answer or say he doesn't feel he can answer and you should ask someone else. Not just dismiss it like that.

amother

Obsidian

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:37 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

I'm sorry but there's a way of weighing this without taking it lightly and without dismissing it either.
If this is too much for this Rav to handle you should find someone to discuss this with.

Who said it’s too much for him to handle. Op asked. He said it’s not a simple thing to change a name. That’s true. Not that the rabbi needs my approval. Op obviously needs to listen to her rabbi, not to a random person on the internet who might have no Jewish education to speak of, but this random woman on imamother will also say it’s not a simple thing at all to change a name. Not something to be taken lightly. Once a name is given its best leave things as they are. Women here who say the mother has ruach hakodesh or nevuah when she chooses the name so she can choose whatever she feels like, will have to agree that once she chose the name it’s meant to be.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 12:10 am

amother Obsidian wrote:

I'm not here to speak of his Halachic ruling. But he didn't give one. He dismissed the issue and said he can't rule (can't be taken lightly, need r chayim)
If he thinks it's serious and cannot be done he should've TOLD her so.
If he thinks it's serious and needs to be on case by case basis he should've asked for her reasoning and what's going on.
If he feels that r chayim is needed he obviously feels incompetent in this field and shouldn't be consulted in this area as per his own guidance.

It's very disappointing that a Rav would dismiss you like this OP, I'm sorry

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 12:21 am

Do you dislike the name you gave? Or do you also want her to have the other name?

They say that a mother gets ruach hakodesh when naming her child. Maybe her future chosson's mother has the name you want to give her...

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 12:30 am

amother Apricot wrote:

Maybe. All of this should be discussed with a competent Rav.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 1:35 am

Iymnok wrote:

As I understand it’s not a huge problem with a girl in the first month, but with a boy it is.

Whatever Shita to follow can be determined by a Rav in OPs specific community
I feel like the main issue here is the way it was dealt with

familyfirst

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 3:01 am

A few options:
Call her by the name you love, but her legal Hebrew name will be the original name (heard of this before)

2- add a name ( a friend did this. Ask a Rav sign “breiteh pleitzes”, broad shoulders, who is comfortable thinking out of the box

3- wait and see if the current name grows on you

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jul 30 2023, 8:08 am

familyfirst wrote:

PSA if someone is called something by everyone and it sticks although it's different from the Hebrew name it may be Halachically binding and may very possibly need to be put on kesuba
You may as well discuss with a Rav and see if you can add the name if you'll be going to that extent since it would just mean making things less Halachically complicated in the future