What is wrong with me? RE grandkids

amother

Aster

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 11:06 am

My mother is a wonderful grandmother who my kids adore, but she's not very helpful to me, because her level of involvement is on her own terms. As it should be. She worked hard raising her own kids while also juggling a demanding career, and community involvement (she was president of her shul's sisterhood for many years), she should get to enjoy and do everything on her own terms. To her, being a grandparent is all the fun and none of the work. And even the fun happens when she's up for it and not when she's not. She hasn't changed a single diaper since her youngest finished with diapers. She hasn't woken up before 9 since her youngest stopped needing help waking up, unless she has a flight to catch to some wonderful trip she's off to for and by herself. I am so happy for her, and also happy for everything she does when she is in Savta mode. I honestly aspire to the same. I don't plan on changing diapers ever again once my youngest is done either 😀

amother

Pink

Tue, Aug 15 2023, 11:19 am

I totally relate. I have a baby granddaughter and she is cute as anything, but I don’t really have the time to take care of her. I have a house full of kids and a toddler.
BUT, I would love another baby of my own. It’s a completely different attachment. I just didn’t bond with my granddaughter in that way of attachment. I don’t have enough time when she is here. I’m running to take care of everyone else- including her mother.
Maybe when my kids are older, I will like it more.
My parents and in-laws had babies/toddlers and ainiklach at the same time, and they are just not into it.
Change your expectations of yourself.
Not every grandparent loves to hang out with the kids,
It’s fine.
The more you talk about it, the more common you will see that it is.