S/O Mohel | Imamother

amother

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 8:31 am

When I had my first, who was a boy, my wonderful BT father said he would take care of the mohel. I thought that meant pay him, arrange for him, everything else. We got a great mohel my father knew. Months, if not a year later I’m on here and read that every mohel should be paid, even if they say it’s ok. I spoke to DH and between the two of us we realized that my father didn’t actually pay the mohel, he only arranged for him to do our bris (he’s a very experienced mohel who gets very booked up). But my father didn’t pay him because he had learned that you don’t pay a mohel. DH and I felt uncomfortable that this happened when even if we were technically not supposed to pay him. It seems to be a societal norm and maybe the mohel was expecting it. So after all this time we reached out to the mohel and paid him. He told us $500 bc DH is in kollel, and from that we inferred that it’s more than that usually so I think we did $800.
If you didn’t pay your mohel, find out how much of a societal norm that actually is in your community. If people give money it’s the mentschlicht thing to do.

amother

Puce

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 8:37 am

Kol hakovod to you! I was also told that it's the parents responsibility to pay the mohel and therefore we always made sure to pay ourselves even by our first where my parents covered the actual bris.

amother

Coral

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 9:07 am

For my first, my parents ended up covering the cost of the bris. So all the money we have set aside to pay for it (a couple thousand) we actually paid to the mohel. We felt that it was actually the most important expense anyways, considering that’s the bris!

For subsequent kids we did the same thing, though a little less since we also covered the cost of the simcha

But I don’t understand people who spend thousands on a bris but only 500-800 on the mohel, personally

anonymous mom

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 9:19 am

I think your father misunderstood. I was told that the mohel is not allowed to charge a fee because that can prevent a poor family from making a bris. You're supposed to pay and there is a standard etc, but they will never ask for money.

amother

Clear

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 9:24 am

amother Coral wrote:

Because that's a normal fee for a 30 min procedure & 2 house visits. When I pay for stitches out of pocket it's a couple hundred.
Why would someone pay 1000s for a service when that's not the price?
If it's 1000, you pay 1000. You don't pay extra.

amother

Lotus

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 9:34 am

Beautiful op!!
Yes you need to pay mohels. I know many models say that their charge is the pre and post bris care. I have three boys and my mohel has amazing pre and post in home care
I know some mohels have a “pay what you could policy” for kollel couples, but of course you need to pay. This is their parnassa!!!

amother

Lotus

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 9:34 am

amother Clear wrote:

Lucky you! When I pay for stitches out of pocket it’s $800:(

amother

Fern

Wed, Aug 16 2023, 11:04 am

The Mohel for oldest categorically refused to accept any payment. What could we do 🤷🏻‍♀️
We could have technically sent in something like a cake (didn't think of it postpartum) but he's very popular. I can't imagine him wanting 10 cakes a week..