Truth about daycare - what do you think?

amother

Hyssop

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 6:06 pm

Unless a mother is abusive, of course the best place for a baby is with its mother. Thats not even debatable.

Growing up, most mothers were home. Back then, one salary was mostly sufficient coupled with the fact that it was simpler times.

Nowadays, its almost impossible to survive on one salary. I feel its so cruel that tiny babies spend their days strapped into carriages instead of lovingly being held and playing with their mother. They are fed by propped bottles instead of nursed or bottlebed while staring in their mothers loving face.

But such is life. Most mothers have no choice.

amother

DarkRed

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 6:41 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

Fortunately I have never worked in a daycare where babies were strapped in all day. Ive done babysitting in my house as well and the babies played on the floor and slept in pack n plays and I only propped if I had to.
This is only possible with low ratio. I dont know what goes on in huge groups.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 6:51 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

Unless a mother is abusive, of course the best place for a baby is with its mother. Thats not even debatable.

Growing up, most mothers were home. Back then, one salary was mostly sufficient coupled with the fact that it was simpler times.

Nowadays, its almost impossible to survive on one salary. I feel its so cruel that tiny babies spend their days strapped into carriages Instead of lovingly being held and playing with their mother. They are fed by propped bottles instead of nursed or bottlebed while staring in their mothers loving face.

But such is life. Most mothers have no choice.

If your babysitter is doing this, please please find another babysitter. This is not normal.

amother

Lightcyan

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 7:05 pm

Every time something comes up about daycare we hit the same point- there are the good daycares that are 1:3 or 1:4 where kids are getting almost attention as they would at home (my kid actually gets more attention at daycare than he does at home with all his older siblings needing me too), and then there are the cheap places with insane ratios like 1:7, 1:10, 1:12 for infants where they're not getting decent care no matter how hard the provider tries. The two aren't remotely comparable.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 4:05 pm

behappy2 wrote:

To me it seems she is referring to daycares that have 20 babies with 5 caregivers and the caregivers aren't spending time bonding with the kids.

Compare that to sending to a caring, warm Mommy with only a few other babies and for five hours a day.

If you have 20 babies with 5 caregivers, it is the same ratio as one woman with a few babies.
And I would much rather have more than one caregiver. I would never send a child to one woman watching more than 2 babies. What if they are all screaming at once? Its not easy being one on a few kids, but with more than one adult, they can and do help each other.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 4:07 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

When did you grow up? In my days growing up, in the 80s and 90s, most mothers worked.
And if you have a child in such a day care, you should not send there. I have never heard of or seen such things in a day care. That is NOT normal at all

amother

Viola

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 5:27 pm

amother Natural wrote:

If you want to make a video about the advantages of breastfeeding, go for it.

But even though there are advantages, PLEASE don't make a video about how terrible formula is. Even if it is not the superior option, for most moms using formula THERE ARE NO OPTIONS. And formula is a wonderful way to make sure babies are fed properly.

If you want to make a video about how good it is for a baby's development to be home with mom, that's fine.

But please do not make a video like this, putting down daycare! Most mothers sending their children to daycare are doing so because they need to to work and they need their child to be cared for. And quality daycare is an excellent way to do so.

Mommy wars and holier than thou attitudes are unfair and counterproductive. We can do better.

Nothing will ever change if we keep sweeping the downsides of modern society under the rug.

You want daycares to be better? Push over and over how today's are subpar.

You want mothers to be supported in pumping - given a private room at work, given time to pump? Make sure everyone knows how important pumping is to breastfeeding for working moms, and how damaging formula is.

You want insurance to fully fund lactation consultants? Make sure everyone knows how important breastfeeding is for mother's and baby's health, and that it's not a lifestyle choice but a real and important health issue.

You want society to change to allow parents to stay home with their kids? Make sure everyone knows how important it is for one parent to stay home with kids under 3.

Is it uncomfortable for many? Yes. But spreading this information means more people know, more people care, maybe some of the right people will see it and make sure changes are made. The more people who know, the more people who will lobby, the more people who will choose candidates based on whether a candidate places this on the agenda.

These videos are super duper important. I'm sorry it hurts you, though.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 5:32 pm

amother Viola wrote:

Not all day cares are subpar.
Formula is damaging? Wow, thats a bit extreme, no? So many HAVE TO give formula for many different reasons and those children come out just fine.
Not all woman can breast feed. Im not even talking aout working mothers. There are any number of reasons why a woman may not be able to breastfeed. Lets not make any woman feel bad for the things she has to do.
And no, spreading this info is just fear mongering and telling that one side. There are always two side to every story.

amother

Viola

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 5:43 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Antibiotics are generally safe, too. That doesn't mean they don't carry risks. Same for formula.

But you are missing my point. If we want things to change we need to blast why it needs to change.

Why are there big red circles on products that are high sodium and high sugar? Why is daycare subsidized from age three months? Why is daycare being moved to the Education Ministry? Why are there cameras in every daycare that has more than six kids (even though no one watches the footage in real time)? Why have there been all the changes in paternity leave policies in recent years? Little changes but still changes?

Because it made headlines and people pressured and people lobbied. Because people complained and kvetched online and insisted on change.

There's no reason any mother who wants her kids not to go to daycare should have to put her kids in daycare. There's no reason why any mother who has enough milk and wants to breastfeed should have to give formula.

But nothing will change without lobbying, pressuring, sharing information on why what we want is better than what modern life allows.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 5:46 pm

amother Viola wrote:

Who is forcing any mother to give formula?
And no parent has to send to day care. But if both parents HAVE TO work, then they have to send to day care. Thats how life is now.

amother

DarkViolet

Sat, Aug 19 2023, 9:15 pm

America needs to support moms more. We need actual paid maternity leave. Perhaps pay for having a child like Israel does or pay for working moms working certain amount of hours. Also babysitters charge a ton that if I pay 20 an hr after taxes at my job where I’m making 50 an hr is just not so much income anymore. Babysitters want a lot of money these days but regular jobs salary is not increasing-
Back in the day people would live in villages near family with family support in child rearing now we r all just suffering alone trying to do it all-
I wish I could be home with kids and I hate when people have one year olds and say “ their one year old need stimulation from day care”
It’s just not true that one and two yr olds need that.
But I will say my son that began day care at 2.5 had a harder time adjusting and is a little shy.