What age did you let your daughter start shaving

amother

Phlox

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:00 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

“Let” ??

When she wants to shave , she shaves .

I don't think OP used the word let in a bad way. She just couldn't figure out a better way to post her question. It's her first daughter, let's be kind while she's trying to figure it out.

NechaMom

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:08 am

amother Phlox wrote:

I don't think OP used the word let in a bad way. She just couldn't figure out a better way to post her question. It's her first daughter, let's be kind while she's trying to figure it out.

She did say her daughter asked a few times. I don’t think kids should have to beg for this. It’s their body and they are uncomfortable. It’s not a treat that needs to be earned.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:13 am

amother Phlox wrote:

I don't think OP used the word let in a bad way. She just couldn't figure out a better way to post her question. It's her first daughter, let's be kind while she's trying to figure it out.

I’m not being unkind . And she literally wrote that her daughter is begging . I don’t think anyone needs to beg for this . An extreme example would be a girl begging to wear a pad when she gets her period . I’m not accusing op of severe neglect like that , I’m just pointing out what it comes across as . A girl shouldn’t have to beg to take care of her body .

essie14

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:22 am

Shaving shouldn't be something controlled by a mother. You "let" her whenever she wants.
Don't project your sadness of her growing up onto not her. It's not her fault that you have feelings you need to work through. Buy her a razor and shaving cream and show her how to shave safely. The frequency is on her. Maybe she will hate shaving.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:24 am

NechaMom wrote:

She did say her daughter asked a few times. I don’t think kids should have to beg for this. It’s their body and they are uncomfortable. It’s not a treat that needs to be earned.

How is she supposed to know all this as a first timer? We can guide her kindly.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:25 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Ok, but a first time mother doesn't know everything right away. It doesn't hurt to guide with kindness.

NechaMom

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:27 am

amother Phlox wrote:

How is she supposed to know all this as a first timer? We can guide her kindly.

Agree. I don’t think anyone is being nasty. 🤷‍♀️

amother

Phlox

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:27 am

NechaMom wrote:

Agree. I didn’t see nastiness though! 🤷‍♀️

Not nastiness, just strong and not very gentle. I think that when a mother comes here asking a parent question for a first time situation/age/stage, we can be more gentle and kind with our answers.

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:28 am

essie14 wrote:

Wow…rough day?

amother

Ecru

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:28 am

I hear you, op. Growing up, for me at least, shaving/getting eyebrows done was seen as something that our mothers (all my friends shared this experience) pushed off and told us we weren't ready for, and didn't need to do, and don't rush to grow up, and enjoy not having to do it...the same attitude for those of us who weren't **really** in need of a sports bras but wanted them anyway...it was kind of gatekept. I think my mother really believes she would be ruining my innocence and also my smoothish skin (?!?) If she let me start shaving.

So I hear the concern!! But it seems like there's no actual harm done and why not let our daughters thrill in feeling feminine and mature?

My oldest girl just turned 11 and hasn't asked to shave yet, but I did by her "bras" which are really just cropped camis from gap. She thrilled. She literally can't wait to get her period, too. Lol. It's part of growing up. I'm happy she's associating it with happiness.

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:30 am

amother Phlox wrote:

Not nastiness, just strong and not very gentle. I think that when a mother comes here asking a parent question for a first time situation/age/stage, we can be more gentle and kind with our answers.

We should all assume that this is one of the firsts for a mother. 💯

NechaMom

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:32 am

amother Phlox wrote:

Not nastiness, just strong and not very gentle. I think that when a mother comes here asking a parent question for a first time situation/age/stage, we can be more gentle and kind with our answers.

I do hear your point. Some people talk and post more gently than others. As long as someone is not nasty we don’t have to force everyone to have the same super gentle posting style. Would make this place very boring.
I also call out nastiness or bullying, but to call out posts that are not super gentle is already a stretch. That’s my opinion. Maybe I’m wrong.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:35 am

NechaMom wrote:

It just bothers me to see a mother that's trying to figure it out, trying to do her best, being told this is controlling, you don't have to let, or other things along those lines. It can make a mother feel really deflated. I think we should try to be sensitive when answering.

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 12:43 am

amother Thistle wrote:

I developed a little early and my mother was very strict that I couldn't shave because I was too young. I'm still traumatized by that summer that I was too ashamed to go swimming because I was not allowed to shave my underarms. Eventually I disregarded my mother and shaved anyway. I would never go by age when deciding to allow my daughter to shave. If she's already starting to develop she should be allowed to do what it takes to take care of herself.

What you describe is very sad.

amother

Tomato

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 7:26 am

I was 12 and my mother was not thrilled with it. I think she tied it to when I got my period. Then, when that happened earlier than she expected (but right on time for the average girl) she allowed it. At 11, I took my daughter for waxing because she had dark colored hair on her legs and was embarrassed. Eventually, she began shaving. Some mothers are uncomfortable because this signifies a level of maturity that they don't want to rush.

Odelyah

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 9:58 am

amother Ecru wrote:

this is a really nicely worded post Heart

amother

Freesia

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Im not opposed to her shaving, per se. It's just a responsibility that once she starts, she can't stop. Maybe I'm just a little sad(ish) to think how fast she's growing up.

Why can't she stop once she starts?

amother

Cinnamon

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:22 am

Just a psa on the subject. Mothers should teach their daughters to always use a new razor (or blade) every time they shave.

My daughter used to reuse her shaver. Once she developed a cyst under her arm. By the time she told me about it, it was huge- bigger than a ping pong ball. She had to get it treated at the doctor's office. The doctor drained the cyst and a lot of blood gushed out. It was incredibly painful and traumatic.