How to respectfully teach about not going into street

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 9:47 pm

I'm trying to teach my toddler but I'm wondering if there's a better way other than reminding him every time he tries to step off and giving him a stern telling off. How to be proactive and teach it, I guess?

mushkamothers ↓

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 9:57 pm

"Sidewalk"
Remove his body from street - either yank his hand or pick him up.
Wait for him to do it again
Repeat
Add "sidewalk or I will hold you"
Let him do it a 3rd time
Hold / stroller strap and say "you weren't safe so I will keep you safe. Feet stay on the sidewalk"

Less words and telling off
More reinforcement of boundaries

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:00 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

Thanks! But that's not being proactive, that's only when it actually happens. I'm thinking if there's some sort of way to "practice?" Toddler is only 2.1 so he may not fully grasp the concept that where ever there's a step off he may not go. Though I do think he understands and just wants to test it.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:01 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

Certain situations call for being more stern and firm, and dangerous situations is one of them.
Mushkamothers said it perfectly.

of course you need to be firm, no way would I let a child run into the street without me getting him immediately but I just wonder if there's a way to actually teach this in preparation so that he gets it.

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

Testing the limits is a very normal part of toddler development. You can try to be proactive all you want, but toddlers are impulsive and will still test your limits. I don't think not running on the road is something you can practice. He may think it's a game and run on the road when you're not practicing.

amother

↑ Lawngreen

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

I doubt it. Because toddlers are impulsive and test their limits. I did buy some toddler books regarding safety & running on the road.

amother

Trillium

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:05 pm

In addition to talking about it when he goes in the street, ice done a lot of talking in advance. When I take him in the street for something we talk about how we only go holding Mommy's in and, cars drive fast in the street and can hurt children if not with a mommy.... it's not just teaching don't go yourself but also this is how we go safely.
There is an element of impulse control and testing that is normal for this age but with repetition children get it eventually

BrisketBoss

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:07 pm

"Proactive" in this case looks like being ready to block, and maybe holding hands or using a stroller from the beginning if this has been indicated. With toddlers it's not really about teaching, because what they are taught can't always translate into action.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:08 pm

When you’re walking, every time you go to cross a street with him hold his hand firmly and say “We only go into the street holding Mommy’s hand” or holding a grown up’s hand etc.
That’s more proactive.

There’s a bunch of things I try to reinforce in this kind of way. Sing song voice makes it more friendly

WhatFor ↓

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:13 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Yup. Some people's toddlers seem to walk nicely by themselves and won't run into the street just because mommy said not to. Some (I.e. ours Smile

) are way more - let's call it spontaneous- and require much closer physical supervision when outdoors. Meaning you need to always be close enough to them that you can grab them if they try to run into the street. Until they get old enough that they understand what you're saying and will regulate their own selves not to.

silverlining3 ↓

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 11:10 pm

My 1.5 year old is very generous, she gives me a warning sign. She sits down on the sidewalk and inches forward. I know it's time to get her. I bend down to her and ask, mommy belt you into the carriage? No go on the road. If she still goes I pick her up and strap in. At first she's okay and when she starts crying I say, you go on the road, cant take you out. Other times, I purposely take her along with me when I need to get something from the road or across the street. I hold her hands firmly, yes she tries to pull out, and say, on a road only with holding mommy's hand.

I know she knows what she is doing is wrong cuz of her stinky smirk she gives me when she looks back to me and sees I am looking, yet still tests me and inches forward.

I wonder why I love her?!?

Oh, and I am definitely losing weight from JUST running to get her.

amother

Beige

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 3:08 am

At that age I've told the same bedtime story every night for weeks/months- Leah has a new ball and it bounces so high and she rolls it, throws it, etc- so much fun! And then it rolls into the street. And Leah reeeally wants to run and get it but Mommy always says "no street" cuz we can always buy a new ball but we don't want Leah to get boo boos. So Leah tells Mommy and Mommy looks very carefully and saves the ball.

Of course you still have to watch your kid! But I did find the story helped- I literally used the same words each time.

Raindance

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 4:50 am

The best way to teach kids is the kindergarten way which is 'See, hear and touch'.

In this instance it would be something like
See: do you SEE the street?
Hear: We walk on the sidewalk.
Touch: every time she tries to go to the road, or even ALL the time, hold her hand and repeat the sentence.

You cannot reason with a toddler. You inform them, using these three tools, of what is expected. If they break the rule, they have to be in a stroller or hold hands with you or be carried (touch is thte consequence). This creates a firm understanding of what is expected of her and a clear rule.

You can use this method to teach anything you like. Don't hit: you hold her hand down to hinder her physically from doing it, while saying a sentence, making sure she sees something also, maybe a parents stern or sad face, or the other kid being scared, sad, etc.

Rappel

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 4:56 am

Proactive -
talk about it while you walk. "This is the sidewalk. This is where people walk. That is the street. That is where cars drive. How do people cross the street? At a cross walk."

"Can the driver see you? Nooooo, you're short. Can the driver see imma? Yes, imma is tall. Hold imma's hand, let's check for cars. Check, check, check, check, okay no cars, let's cross, keep checking, check, check, we're back on the sidewalk you can let of imma's hand now"

Etc etc etc.

Reactive -
I scare my children, and I'm very stern with them. I cannot let them make that mistake if they wander out accidentally on their own, so this is something I reserve corporal punishment for.

amother

Clear

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 5:03 am

Rappel wrote:

Toddlers will make anything a game. My kids knew that running into thr street resulted in a firm potch on their bottom or hand. We explained that It’s such a danger that this is the only thing they could be potched for. at 2 years old the physical reminder is what held them back from making this major safety issue into a game of chicken with mommy. Way to scary to imagine turning around for a second c’v. We did not play around with safety.

↑ silverlining3 ↓

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 7:56 am

A potch didn't help my 1.5 year old. After 2 3 times of giving a potch, she stayed standing by the edge of the side walk and held out her hand for a potch. I stopped doing that.

Though toddlers, every month makes a difference. With every passing month they understand more and more. 2 understands way way more than a 1.5 year old understands.

amother

Apple

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 8:51 am

I didn’t read all the suggestions but here are some proactive ways BEFORE it happens
1. Read books about street safety.
Repeat them many times until he can parrot over.
2. Practice in the house
Set up a “sidewalk” area and a “street” area with ride on toys
3. Pretend play set up with mentchies and matchbox cars
4. Talk about expectations BEFORE you go out
5. Educational videos and songs about street safety
Think preschool unit on street safety.
Repeat repeat repeat

It will still happen and you’ll have to firmly say no