Pulling my child out of playgroup

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:15 pm

So as the hype goes, I signed my toddler up for playgroup for this year, last April
At that time, the morah told me she has 8, max 9 kids. She has no helper, but I did my research and heard only good things.
She also told me she was raising her monthly fee by $50 because decided it would be easier to provide lunch than have everyone bring their own
Now, when I spoke to her a week before playgroup started, and asked how many children there will be, she's said about 10 or 11.
Also let me know that she increased her monthly fee by an additional $25 because food prices increased.
OK, so the food thing, too bad. But 11 kids to one morah??? I was really upset
When I picked my daughter up after the first day, I asked the moral what she ate
she claims she didn't want to eat. What was for lunch? Cucumbers and peanut butter sandwiched.
Huh??
I'm so mad
For $75 I expect my 2 year old to be served a semi normal hot lunch
There are so many easy things she can make. All she can think of is bread? My baby does not like pb or cucumbers, so no lunch for her today?
I'm so turned off
And this ratio is really bothering me

Am I obligated to keep my child there for the next 8 months? Why is this fair
And I will feel so stupid pulling her out. Because although I don't know her to well, she knows my MIL, it's a bit heimish

Ugh
Help!

tichellady

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:20 pm

I’m not sure what you should do but I think it would be unrealistic to expect her to make and serve a hot lunch while caring for 11 kids by herself. But I also wouldn’t be ok with one person watching 11 toddlers by herself

flowerpower

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:26 pm

She gets $800 to give sandwiches every day for a month?!

I know 2 playgroups in Lakewood that have 12 kids and no assistant.

writinggirl

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:31 pm

I know this is not what you want to hear, but sending to a playgroup with 10-12 kids and no assistant is basically asking for neglect.

amother

DarkRed

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:33 pm

She can’t charge that if she’s giving peanut butter sandwiches.
Tell her ur not paying the lunch fee and sending ur own sandwich

amother

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:33 pm

writinggirl wrote:

I know this is not what you want to hear, but sending to a playgroup with 10-12 kids and no assistant is basically asking for neglect.

Did you read my post?
She originally said 8 max 9
Every additional child makes a huge difference

amother

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:36 pm

tichellady wrote:

I don't get this
Sha can prep it in the morning
And why are sandwiches less difficult to serve than bowl of pasta or kugel or fish sticks

watergirl

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:37 pm

How old is your child?

If you need the playgroup for childcare while you work, and if you will not be able to find a spot elsewhere and if your child is older than a toddler (ie 2.5), tell her the food is not what you expected and you'll be sending your own food and not the extra $75.

If the playgroup is for socializing, pull your child out.

amother

Calendula

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:38 pm

These things would bother me too. OP whether it would bother anyone else isn’t the issue, it sounds like not a good fit. if you have another place lined up definitely pull out. Frankly you’d be helping the other families by doing so since that’s one less kid!

amother

Aster

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:40 pm

writinggirl wrote:

I know this is not what you want to hear, but sending to a playgroup with 10-12 kids and no assistant is basically asking for neglect.

That's really not true!
I have 9 kids just for the mornings, on my own besides for when my helper comes once a week when she takes over from me and there's absolutely no neglect! And yes, they all get plenty attention.
They're between 18 months-2.5
I change them all at least once a morning. And as soon as I smell a dirty diaper I work out who it is, and I change right away!
We do cute crafts, activities etc. Why would you go to neglect? Maybe over full, but neglect? Chas vesholom

amother

Pumpkin

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 12:50 pm

That's too many kids. I would pull. It's really not safe.

amother

Outerspace

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 1:05 pm

Sandwiches should be a backup for when the kids don't like the lunch. I cook for my playgroup scrambled eggs, noodles, fishsticks, french fries, broccoli, pizza, oatmeal, french toast, and more. Yogurt, fresh fruits and vegetables, healthy snacks, should always be an option.
Pb sandwich and cucumber is not enough. It's like the cheapest food out there.

amother

Trillium

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 1:06 pm

I sent to a morah last year who had 11 kids on her own. Everyone was happy and well cared for, it was totally fine. The $75 food charge is ridiculous.

amother

Almond

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 1:47 pm

I pulled my child out of a group that had 3 morahs and 20 kids. It was a disaster. So disorganized and not clean. And they have a good reputation in town for some reason. My son literally went crazy from that group. I bh was able to get a slot for a group that has 1 morah and 10 kids. I heard amazing things about her. From day 1, my child was a different kid. It was such a calm place, she had everything so under control and she was just amazing. My child thrived there.
Sometimes more morah's, doesn't mean that the group is better run and more responsible.

amother

Fuchsia

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 1:54 pm

Halachically yes you can pull out. She might be upset but too bad. She didn't stick to her agreement.

amother

Almond

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 1:57 pm

OP, I wouldn't pull out just yet. Especially if the child comes home happy. First talk to the morah, ask her if there will be more options for lunch, based on the cost. Don't be confrontational or angry though.

amother

Junglegreen

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 2:06 pm

My dc morah doesn't provide lunch and most days I send a sandwich, as well as most parents that send there. Op, did the morah give a different lunch the 2nd day? Maybe she will once everyone settles in. Maybe ask her for a menu

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 2:27 pm

I pay $400 a year for lunch and snacks and it includes a semi hot lunch like pasta or pizza or pizza Bagels along with plain bread every single day in case a kid doesn't like it. I think there are people that service play groups.
So it's weird she's only serving sandwiches.

amother

Maize

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 2:39 pm

It's upsetting that she took more kids than she said she would. To her defense, morahs are under tremendous pressure to take one more. I have parents calling and begging everyday to take just one more because their child is soooo good! And when is a relative or a close neighbor is extremely hard to refuse.
It doesn't make it right but could be that's what happened.

How many days of playgroup did you have so far?
Did you ask her what the menu was? Do you have option of bringing your own lunch and not paying lunch fee?
Ask her if she offers alternate food if child doesn't touch her lunch.
I'm a playgroup morah, the first few days in playgroup are overwhelming until you learn what kids preferences are.
Is your child happy to go? Does she come home clean and looks well taken care of?
I wouldn't pull out right away based on what you're describing in op.(you might have concerns that you didn't express here!)

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Sep 08 2023, 2:44 pm

I send to a morah with 12 kids no assistant and he comes home so happy! The $75 few is crazy tho

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