In honor of selichos Psa

amother

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 10:21 pm

I would like to invite you all to check out this thread, and the horrible comments directed to Another seablue (me)

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....27319

Again, this is a PSA in honor of selichos, please DONT derail the thread adding your comments to the other topic, rather reply to it on that thread.

amother

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 10:28 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I don’t think your response was great either in honor of slichos. They could have said it nicer, but if you post something people consider reckless you can’t really expect a standing ovation.

Reckless? Op asked for peoples experience so I shared mine
Never told her what yes or not to do
And BTW I never either asked for a standing ovation. In fact I asked for nothing
Not even rude disgusting horrible comments

amother

Tanzanite

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 10:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

In the future, you can (and should) report a post you find hurtful. (I already reported one of them)
You might also want to add "I asked a Rav btw" to your original post so nobody reads it and assumes you are recommending it as a course of action without that.

amother

Lightgreen

Sat, Sep 09 2023, 10:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

You wrote like it’s a good option and it was encouraging others to do it too. And it’s actually a problem. It’s great it worked for you but we aren’t supposed to travel so close to shabbos.

amother

Cantaloupe

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 1:06 pm

Op, I'm not saying the way some posters spoke to you was okay.
I do think that your original post there, sharing your experience, was said in a way that made it sound like it was no big deal.
Blushpink was the only one who was nasty.
Everyone else was questioning your story, because it was very problematic sounding, and the way it was written made it sound like you thought otherwise.

amother

Oleander

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 1:10 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I don’t think your response was great either in honor of slichos. They could have said it nicer, but if you post something people consider reckless you can’t really expect a standing ovation.

This.
Your response made it sound like what you did is a viable, normal option. You made a mistake by not specifying from the get go that it was an emergency and you asked a rav.
In a situation where the OP is asking if anybody did this and it was fine and we have no idea why she's asking. Maybe it's to go on vacation. You can't just go and say oh we did it and it was great

amother

Lemonlime

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 1:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can see why people felt strongly about what you said on that thread. Keeping Shabbos is a topic dear to many hearts here. I can also see why you were upset by one very critical comment that lashed out at you unfairly. What I don’t understand is what you or any of us gain from going over this.

What service are you doing for the public by providing us with this public announcement?
How are you or any of us reading the thread you linked doing anything in honor of selichos?

Selicha literally means forgiveness. I agree you were spoken to rudely and I’m sorry you were hurt by a imamother who used such unnecessarily harsh and accusatory language to attack you. Maybe the best you can do in the spirit of Selichos is forgive and move on. Getting everyone else upset on your behalf seems to be the opposite of what Selichos are all about.

NechaMom

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 2:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I read the thread now for the first time so I don’t have a dog in this fight. I agree with you that you didn’t deserve that nasty comment about you’re not caring much about Shabbos. That was truly horrible and most likely very far from the truth. To be accused like that is really rude and hurtful!
That said, there’s such a thing as maayes eyin. Don’t do something (or post something) that looks very wrong in the eyes of others even though you know in your heart that you’re doing nothing wrong.
So if you took a flight like that after speaking to a rav it would make so much more sense to post that it was with a rav’s permission, or that it was an emergency....
Still doesn’t excuse those nasty comments but I agree with the poster who commented that it was probably not halachically permissible. I don’t think her comment was rude.
I’m glad Blushpink was called out for her horrible comment (and making you blush pink!)

NechaMom

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 2:18 pm

amother Forsythia wrote:

In honor of selichos, I'll link to a thread where people are discussing whether to travel close to Shabbos? Huh? That's a conversation that would seem to be not in honor of selichos.

Why continue the nasty tone?
She’s saying that she was hurt.
She already explained it was with a rav’s permission.