Child biting in playgroup

amother

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:28 pm

My 3 yr old just started with a fantastic morah
However, there is one kid in her group that from day 1 has not stopped biting the other children and unfortunately my daughter is her main target

She comes home with deep bit marks on her arm and is traumatized to go every day

The morah says she's handling it and the childs mom is aware

I mean, I really dont want to send my daughter tmrw! But why should she lose out if its this other childs fault! At what point does the morah say, enough and this child should not be allowed back?!

amother

Copper

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:30 pm

That's a problem. She either needs to physically hold on to the kid all day or kick her out. Biting once or twice ok it happens. Constant biting is just not acceptable and it's not ok to put all the other kids at risk.

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 7:35 pm

OP I wrote THE SAME EXACT POST last year!!! I actually just went to reread it.
There was a kid in my daughter's class who kept biting and scratching her. BH I kept her back a year to redo the 2 year old playgroup since she' was the youngest to begin with so shes not with that mean kid. It's been a year and whenever she comes home with a scratch or scuff on her knee she tells me "shaya did it" or "shaya hurt me" - I Mentioned it to the morah since this was her morah from last year too and she told me shes probably traumatized from that kid.

Anyway, just validating you!! Its such a not nice feeling. The aggressive child should be shadowed so he doesnt hurt others.

amother

Outerspace

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:13 pm

The morah needs to constantly supervise the biting kid when there is no structure. Like during play time.
Also, the morah and the mom need to work together to give her the language to express herself ( most likely the biting kid wants a toy or something and bites for it)

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

What did the morah do in this case?
Did that boy stay in playgroup for the rest of the year?

Yeah and it really bothered me. I didnt have anywhere else to send my daughter and my daughter loved/loves her morah so I couldnt even switch her if I wanted to. I just made it extremely clear that he could not be near her. My husbands rosh kollel started this school so he also spoke to him about it and told him its really not OK.

I also teach my daughter personal boundaries and space. If I am kissing her and she tells me "mommy stop, I no like it" I stop. If my husband is tickling her and she says no, he doesnt. I dont force her to kiss or hug anyone she doesnt want to. I taught her if someone hurts her to say NO and go to morah. She actually had a playdate with my friends son (asd) and I wasnt watching for a minute (terrible mistake I still feel guilty), he pinched her and I heard her yell "NO! STOP IT!" and run away. Model this to your DC.

Gittu

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:23 pm

I am coming from the other side, my daughter used to bite until she was expelled from daycare. I was miserable. I quit my job because nobody would take her in. I sat at home crying. This is a really hard situation!

amother

Grape

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:26 pm

Gittu wrote:

my dc is also being aggressive and I’m worried they’ll be kicked out. It’s so hard on both sides. I wish I knew what to do to make them stop. Consequences did nothing. They’re too little….

TwinsMommy

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:31 pm

I'm the mom of a biter. Biter needs a smaller program with a better teacher to student ratio if the teacher can't prevent the biting. At that age, a babysitter at home might be easier than playgroup.

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 9:11 pm

amother Grape wrote:

my dc is also being aggressive and I’m worried they’ll be kicked out. It’s so hard on both sides. I wish I knew what to do to make them stop. Consequences did nothing. They’re too little….

advocate for the school to hire a shadow or SI for your DC. or you might need to pay out of pocket